My Story Book

Life is so short that sometimes we want to rush things and check things off our list of goals, especially in love. 

Step 1 - Find the one

Step 2 - Marry your love

Step 3 - Have wonderful children and the rest of your life together

However, all those steps don’t usually happen at your first try and maybe even your second. I can’t complain though for I have loved and felt it.

One of the greatest thing is to have experienced deep love from the one you truly cared for because others haven’t. There are others who have never felt the passion, as well as the hurt, and I am blessed to say I have. 

Though that time with that person is over, over time you realize and cherish what that person showed you. A relationship that doesn’t work is ultimately a gift from God. God saw the hurt this man had put you in and took you out of your misery when you didn’t have the courage to do so at the time. 

Whether we mutually knew it would never work or I was mistreated and wronged, to all those men in my life, I thank you.

You are neither a friend or an ex. I can’t call you my ex for only the ones who treated me well do I consider worthy enough to have been a good boyfriend of mine. You are just a lesson. You taught me what I really want from my life long partner. Because of you, I will not settle for okay and comfortable. 

My partner will be an extension of me, not someone that will “complete”, “fix”, or “improve” me for I am a whole person that a man must accept to love. 

I don’t remember your face and body. It’s all a big blur now. I’ve erased your physical being from my mind. You’re a death that occurred in my mind. I’ve grieved and moved on. Everything is lost but the lessons you’ve given me: 

I will never again let a man push me to fill in the gaps that he thought needed filling. I am an imperfect person that a man must accept and cherish.

I need encouragement and support, not ridicule and embarrassment. I will not be pushed to being uncomfortable because it’s entertaining for him or that’s what he wishes me to do for his own benefit. I am not a free show for him, I am a worthy person.

I know I will improve for myself and for the man that will treat me and guide me right. 

I will never again let a man undermine my beauty. I do not need to change my physical appearance for any man. I will be loved for who I am. After all, in the end we are all skin and bones that will grow old. What matters most is the heart, personality, humility, and compassion that a person has. Looks are shallow and they disappear but who we truly are stays.

I will never again be manipulated to his wants. I have sacrificed enough to give my everything and not see any compromise or sacrifice from him. I do not ask for much in return. But never will I let another man take all my compassion, efforts, love, sacrifices, and even the smallest gestures, and belittle them.

I will never again put his needs over mine too many times. I have moved across the country for his needs. I have put his religion over mine. I have put his wants over mine. I have put almost anything he asked for over mine. 

My partner will sacrifice for me for he truly loves me and never want to see me walk away. He will see that I give and give and he will give more in return. Not in wealth or fortune, but with love, care and sacrifices. 

I will never again let any man abuse me. Physically, mentally, or emotionally. It takes too much of a toll after the damaged has been done. I thank him for showing me what that abuse is early on in life so that I can stop it when I see it again. I will truly cherish this lesson from him no matter how hard it is to cope and heal. I will no longer be walking on eggshells and be afraid of my actions and decisions.

I will never again let any man cheat on me. I have given him a second chance after contacting her and trying to meet with her out of anyone else he could see. I knew he did that to spite me and yet I still forgave and loved deeply. How foolish of me. Nonetheless, I thank him. He showed me that he’s not faithful. He has other women in mind and that is not what a loving man does. 

My partner will love me and only me. No amount of anger or sadness will lead him to cheat or hurt me in anyway.

I will never again give myself wholeheartedly. He has taught me that I can’t be completely vulnerable to a man. That I need myself to fall on when a man can’t or won’t. I was too naive and believed all his words. I let my entire guard down and let him use it to his advantage. 

My partner will not have me wholeheartedly but he will take me and accept me and continue to prove that he will always be there to catch me when I fall.

There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from you and sometimes I feel as if I’ve used you. But in the end, it only makes up for everything else you have done to me. It took me awhile to realize what your true purpose was in my life. I had to get through all the resentment and stages of a heartbreak. All the why and how questions that ran in my head over and over again.