Saarah B!

SO, about the hiatus. I’ve been working full-time. And when I’m not doing that I’m just...exhausted. If it's not work, it’s me; every time I try to draw I get anxious because I’m constantly angry on not drawing. I feel guilty for not making art, much less finishing and posting something.

I feel awful about myself because I don’t feel like I’m where I should be at. Despite being an “adult”; having a job or whatever.

I always wanted and I’d still LOVE to work in animation. I went to art school a few years ago, and even though I got burnt out and basically scammed, I was somewhat happy because I thought I was going to have a bachelor’s degree and maybe a job at the end of it. I didn’t. I dropped out after 9 months of back-to-back grueling, difficult, and unhealthy crunching.

But learning by myself, being “self-taught”, isn’t for me when I have a day job or other responsibilities. There’s so many online courses and resources out there, but I can’t put in the work without a due date on an assignment. It forces me to work, basically; to put everything else aside and actually draw.

I know I’m not great at a lot of things: backgrounds, perspective, color theory, whatever; but I just want to start drawing again and I am slowly getting there.

I still look at my old art, drawings I’ve made before art school or right after. I drew more frequently and, more importantly, I was happy just drawing. Now I’m not drawing and I’m unhappier for it.

Sorry this is kind of like I’m writing in a diary... My little story is probably a dime a dozen, but hey, I’m being honest and I’m glad I am.

I’m taking on animation classes soon hopefully. Then once I have a good foundation, I’ll start putting together a portfolio. I wanna be a liberal arts major, dammit! I think I’d really like storyboarding! I only have to sketch and clean it? Hell yeah, I love sketching! I LOVE VISUAL STORYTELLING!!

I WANNA MAKE MY OWN STORIES! I THINK ABOUT MY OWN CHARACTERS ALL THE DAMN TIME! I FUCKING LOVE ANIMATION!!!!!!

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