llama booty

so during this show

(cinderella)

(i was a stepsister)

we made a bet

it was a bet on me

but not some wishy washy bet for a sandwhich deal

this was real life

this was money

and the bet was that I could not touch every butt of every person in the show

(every butt)

i took the challenge immediately 

(i am not weak)

but I had to do it all in one show

and i had

10 minutes

(10 minutes of time when i was not onstage)

so what is a girl to do

i can not touch every butt backstage

(every butt)

i had limited time

i had to get

creative

i get the techies first

it took me the whole ten minutes

(they run fast)

and I get the extras and some others in the dance sequence

(multitasking)

but here’s the thing

now I have to get the main actors

how will she do it?

you ask

well

i will tell you

i’ll tell you how i did it

it’s called acting

i touched the butts

onstage

(all of the butts)

i touch the prince’s servant’s butt on my way onstage

(a light tap)

(too fast for the naked eye to see)

oh but he felt it

he knew

he knew i was out for the butts

(every butt)

i saw the fear in his eyes

no

he mouths to me

but it is too late

i’ve gone too far

i must not stop

twenty minutes until the end

i must work fast

i touch my stepsister’s butt

she is not surprised

she has bet money on this

(she knows what i am capable of)

i touch my stepmother’s butt

she is standing

she forgets her line

(she has lost seven dollars)

and now things become

difficult

i am on the floor of the stage

(for the scene)

and the prince

(the next victim)

(he has bet against me)

he is standing above me

facing away from me

butt first

this is my chance

it is now or never

i put a hand on the back of his leg

he knows

he is speaking

his voice cracks

he smells defeat

his defeat

my hand ventures up

(towards the butt)

he begins to sing

i touch the butt

(every butt)

i have won

he stumbles over a word

he is the loser

the curtain closes

i have done it

all that is left is the wedding scene

i have touched all the butts

(every butt)

i can’t believe you got cinderella’s butt

one says backstage

my heart stops

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs

i have not gotten the last butt

(the most precious butt)

i cannot do it

i think

i am in a quick change

(another girl’s hands are down my pants)

i cannot do this during the wedding scene

but i will not lose

i have come so far

i stop

your shoes

the techie says

i cannot come back

it must be done

i walk

no

i run

to the next room

cinderella is there

wearing a tan leotard

this is it

i think

i do not know this girl well

(she is catholic)

god forgive me for the sin i am to commit

i whisper

(i cross my chest)

the time has come

a crowd has circled around the room

they are watching

waiting

cinderella does not know

she has not yet truly been exposed to the world and its horrors

(she will be)

i stop

i am so close

i do it

both hands are on the butt

(the most precious butt)

i have done it

i’m sorry

i say

it had to be done

don’t stop

she says

what

i say

i did not expect this

a variable has been thrown into the equation

(the butt equation)

i like it

she says

she looks back at me

i look at her

(ten seconds until curtain)

she does not blink

(nine seconds)

i do not know what to do

(eight seconds)

my hands are still on the butt

(seven )

i want to move them but i cannot

(six)

i am not wearing shoes

(five)

the stage manager busts in

(saved by the manager)

the next five seconds are a blur

my hands are no longer on the butt

(i don’t know how)

i am on stage

i am not wearing shoes

the theatre teacher is in the audience

she knows

she sees

this is the end

i think

it was worth it

i bow

i am smiling