“i got pushed”

CHAPTER ONE

Desperation clawed at your insides upon spotting a corner street Pizza Alvolo establishment not far from where you stood under the shade of surrounding buildings within the city. Its windows were intact, unlike the surrounding shops. How odd. Perhaps any looters that came before you were polite and just used the front door to avoid drawing the attention of hoards? Regardless, it felt like providence from God.

Your shadow stretched across the pavement, debris crunching under your worn black combat boots. The sun would set soon. You marked on your wrinkled map that there was a hoard you avoided about three blocks down from your current location; this was a part of town on the outskirts that you had yet to venture into.

But you were willing to take your chances for some food and shelter. If the sinks had running water you’d stay the night, it’d been too long since you had a proper shower.

You accepted the low probability of there being any sort of food left that wasn’t already expired or picked through… but at this point, you treated a can of diced tomatoes no differently than the antidote that could cure the virus.

The burning sensation of the hollow pit in your stomach felt sickeningly nauseating as you bitterly recalled late study nights spent stuffing your face with pizza that your mom would graciously on her way home from work.

“___, careful! Chew properly now!”

She’d set down a glass of water beside your plate and firmly pat your back when you got ahead of yourself and choked at the dinner table. “Why do you wait so late in the day to eat? There’s ramen in the pantry for a quick meal. You’re home all day, don’t starve yourself.”

“School,” you’d simply say and clear your throat before diving back into the cardboard box for another hot slice of pizza.

Skipping lunch was just way more time-efficient for your packed student schedule despite attending class remotely— plus you avoided that dreaded post-meal grogginess. It was a luxury you could afford when your priorities in life were surviving university and landing a good internship that could put your mother’s mind at semi-peace.

As you stood amid a city that had fallen after the start of the outbreak, self-preservation was the only thing that was driving every fiber of your being since it all went to hell. Your mother was always busy at work to help provide for you but she cared in her selfless ways. Now, she was—

Your chest ached as you blinked back tears and willed away memories of your not-so-distant past life. If you were honest with yourself, a mental breakdown was imminent with all that you’ve endured until now but survival instincts kept your emotions at bay. It wouldn’t do you any good to shut down in your current state.

You lost track of how long it’s been since you’ve eaten a decent meal that wasn’t canned and cold. How many weeks has it been since you’ve had to sleep inside an abandoned building every night with your back against a cold concrete wall and a knife in your hand? You’ve constantly been on the move with no one to help within a miles radius, just you, the crumbling city, and the ravaging undead.

Finishing off your last ration of canned spam four days ago nearly broke you and your water supply was a constant struggle. You never imagined finding yourself in a situation where you would have to go more than a day without food and the body aches you were experiencing for the past few days was not a good sign. Traversing from the suburban neighborhoods, every liquor store and grocery market you’d passed by on your way to the inner city had been looted completely or overrun by the hoards.

Stopping on your trek for anything aside from sleeping only caused you to panic about staying in one place for too long. Were people aware of your presence while you had no idea they loomed in the area? Would you encounter someone who wanted to steal everything you owned, loot you and leave you for dead?

Running into other people was something you’ve avoided because of their unpredictability, you refused to trust anyone while you were out here. Common sense was a resource you couldn’t afford to lose with hunger and fatigue setting into your body.

The danger of the unknown is always imminent, so you were constantly on the move. It’s not like you were ever trained in the art of survival like those contestants who would show up on those national geographic shows in the wild. No, you were relying on pure instinct at this point.

The grueling pace that you were traveling at had its consequences and you grew hungrier and weaker by the day. You couldn’t catch a break since this all started...

The shifting of a shadow far down the street drew your attention and made your breath catch in your chest. Your eyes darted to the tall buildings and piles of cars in search of whatever it belonged to. Your brain was unable to dismiss the movement so you kept your eyes peeled and began to approach the shop cautiously, fingers unstrapping the velcro at your thigh to unsheath your small, dull kitchen knife.

You wish you were being dramatic but you felt like you could kill anything for food. Maybe it was just a bird flying through the area. Sulkily wishing for a rabbit or game to pop out from the wreckage, you tried peeking into the glass facade of Pizza Alvolo.

The display cases were empty of course, but nothing looked too ravaged in there. Fantasies of food popped your mind and your mouth watered at what the storage room might hold. As the sun slipped under the horizon, the cool night air sent a shiver across your skin, spurring you on to begin rummaging for your dinner, unbeknownst to a pair of eyes locked onto your back from afar.

—

The kitchen doorway was open and allowed the moonlight to shine through part of the room, however, there wasn't enough of it to see further back in the kitchen. You remained quiet in the doorway, trying to detect any movement or sounds. Silence followed once more, so you began your looting process.

Dropping your backpack to the floor, you removed a lantern from it along with a matchbox. After adjusting the tea candle in the center of the lantern, you struck the match and pressed it to the candle wick to aid your vision in the dark, damp kitchen. The pantries were the first thing you tried, and you attempted to rummage as quietly as you possibly could.

After opening one and then another, each cabinet you swung open with a creak was empty save for some kitchen spare kitchen utensils and stacked dishes. Absolutely nothing to eat. Nothing. Feeling hopeless, you slammed the last one shut in frustration.

You would survive this night without food again, you would do it if you had to. Finish searching the place.

Your eyes landed on a pizza cutter on the counter which you pocketed; that then gave you the idea to find a knife sharpener for the dulling kitchen blade that you’d taken from your own house. You found the tool on the far end of the counter and began to sharpen your knife like you’d watched your mom do before starting to cook a rare homemade meal for a special occasion, like your birthday… The memory nearly brought you to your knees; you braced yourself against the counter, your grip on the silverware shaky. You were just so hungry and so very alone.

Just keep moving.

It made no sense to check a fridge with the electricity being out in the whole city, but you spotted it behind you and yanked it open. Then your eyes widened as you felt cool air release from the unit along with a dim light shining across your dirt-stained skin.

On a large silver tray with parchment paper under it sat a whole pizza, toppings, cheese, and all. Your jaw dropped in disbelief. There was an actual whole pizza sitting in front of you.

There was no electricity for nearly three weeks now you calculated, so how was this possible? Was there a backup generator running in this block? You should’ve checked the lights but you just assumed they didn’t work. Doing a double-take you poked at the crust; it was cold to the touch.

“Oh my god,” you nearly sobbed aloud.

The crashing of glass startled you to your core, your knife clattering to the floor. You immediately shut the freezer door, pressing your back against the side of it, hidden from the moonlit entryway of the kitchen.

Thuds of heavy boots and voices began to fill the front of the store and the candlelight across the room still flickered dimly to your horror. You had to blow it out or else risk getting discovered. You scrambled across the tile in a flurry and blew the candle out with a huff. You were barely able to press yourself into the shadows of a small nook in the wall next to janitor supplies out of view from the doorway.

Of course, you had locked the door behind you, but you weren’t counting on a group of psychos breaking in and making this much of a ruckus at night time.

“Was demolishing the windows necessary?” a gruff male voice asked, sounding exasperated. “Now anyone within half a mile's radius who’s too curious for their own good will come running, including lurkers.”

Someone else replied, “Jay. Were you going to sit there and pick the lock? No? I didn’t think so.”

“No, I was going to move on to the next block. Because that’s our plan.”

“Was our plan,” the other man corrected.

Despite your blood pulsing in your ears, you continued to listen as the man named Jay insisted. “We already had our rations for the week. If Heeseung finds out you’re going behind his back like this--”

“He’ll what? Kill me?” The other man chuckled out loud, a carefree lilt to his tone as though he didn’t give a rat's ass that the sound would attract any undead stragglers in the streets. “Are you gonna tell on me if he even gets back?”

Jay sighed lowly and said nothing further. Seems like you weren’t the only one out here who was craving something to eat. At least they had rations; you had nothing, yet.

“I’m starving, I might as well bring that pizza back as well.”

Pressing further into the shadows, heavy footsteps approached ever closer. A man’s silhouette appearing against the wall just a foot from where you hid. His shadow was distorted but his body shape almost looked like it could belong to a model. It shifted across the wall and you stopped breathing altogether, finally able to see who intruded. There was a pause in their conversation that didn’t sit right with you but they just as soon resumed talking.

“Isn’t it the last pizza?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. And how many of the bags are left?”

You peeked over your shoulder to the fridge, which to your horror, had cracked open, a sliver of light illuminating the floor and a pair of black scuffed boots. The brunette’s short hair was parted down the middle and his profile was rather refined; he was handsome you faintly noticed despite all of the adrenaline pumping through your system. You didn’t like how the few words he had spoken already put you on edge, it had something to do with his cocky demeanor.

“Looks like two weeks worth for all seven of us.”

Jay groaned at the ceiling.

“Shit.”

“Damn.”

“Fuck.”

The two shared a hearty laugh despite their circumstances.

“I need all of that on a mug,” Jay said, momentarily peering over his shoulder.

“At least Jungwon’s nice enough to grow you some corn.”

“You’re right, I have that to look forward to at least.”

As the man pulled open the door, your eyes immediately went to the massive sword strapped to his back; it was over half his height and you could tell he stood at an intimidating height. Your fingers gripped the wooden handle of the pizza cutter, readying yourself.

The other man came into view as well; he wore all black with multiple blades strapped to either of his clothed thighs. He was a bit leaner than the other and nearly the same height. Just as good looking, from the side at least. You took them both in; tall, armed, and dangerous. Your mind raced for what to do next.

Remain hidden and continue watching? Make a bolt for it? Attack? They were going to steal the pizza that you found. Your pizza. You couldn’t let them, and you wanted to believe you stood a chance despite all odds.

The man with the sword bent over to pick up a translucent bag filled with red liquid from the bottom section of the freezer that you hadn’t noticed before. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be in the shape of a… blood bag.

You deduced that they may have more resources at their disposal. Were they staying at a hospital?

The man tossed a bag in the air before catching it and shoving it into a satchel.

“Don’t worry Jay, I’ll share some with you when we get back to the precinct.”

Wait.

“Nope, You’re not gonna drag me into your bloodlust escapades.”

Wait, share?

“You’re already guilty by association, might as well go all the way.”

“No. You better find a way to make it up to the kids. Might as well take back all of the bags. This place will be crawling with lurkers by dawn thanks to you. Now hurry up, I can hear them approaching!”

Were they feeding on human blood? Cannibals? Occultists?

Unable to tear your eyes away you gasped. Both of their heads slowly turned to the dark corner that you couldn’t have shrunk further into.

“By the way, the door wasn’t locked last time we were here,” Sunghoon said, a touch of excitement coloring his voice. He tilted his head back as though to sniff the air.

“I’m well aware,” Jay sighed. “Don’t Sunghoon—.”

The man was suddenly staring down at you, his elegant features half cast in shadow, the other in the moonlight, like he was wearing a cracked porcelain mask. He just.. apparated in front of you.

“Why not?” he gave you a small smile.

Swallowing your scream, you slashed at his chest without hesitation. His reaction time was unlike anything you’ve ever seen, his movements were a blur. Next thing you knew his hands were closed around both your wrists, your back pressed against his chest, but you refused to loosen your grip on the slicer.

“Hello to you too, princess. What were you going to do, pizza slice us to death?”

“Let. Me. Go,” you struggled against him, glaring at his accomplice who merely shook his head while packing away the remaining blood bags into his satchel. Your mouth would’ve watered at the sight of him sliding pizza slices into zip lock bags if your life wasn’t in danger. “That’s mine.”

Jay’s eyebrows rose at your claim. “Oh?”

“You were as quiet as a mouse back here. You’re not staying nearby, are you?” Sunghoon glanced down at your hefty backpack curiously.

“Why don’t you let go of me then we can talk? The way you ask so many questions is so annoying,” you blurted out. Jay was unable to hold back his laughter at your off-handed comment. Sunghoon scoffed drily in amusement and his grip only tightened.

“Well, I’m sure you have a lot of questions yourself—”

“Imagine living with that,” Jay rolled his eyes.

You bit your lip to keep from saying anything else as you tried to control your breathing. Jay studied your frustrated expression and your overall disheveled visage, from your scabbed knuckles to your torn jeans and ripped denim jacket.

In such proximity to you, Sunghoon noted that under that layer of dirt and grime, there was a rather addictively sweet scent on your skin. He gave Jay a knowing look, but you were completely oblivious to the exchange.

“You’ve been on the streets for a while, haven’t you?” Jay asked.

Yes. For too long, you wanted to confide.

But you couldn’t be honest with this stranger, not while your stomach bubbled in anxiety, your heart feeling like it was about to erupt from your chest. Not while you’ve hardly slept a wink in the past weeks. Not when you were already so famished and vulnerable, and at the will of two men who could easily overpower a girl like you.

“What do you want?” You asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“You.”

Sunghoon felt you stiffen against him at his answer. The sound of lurkers growling and rasping on the streets could be heard. He twirled you around to face him but and reinforced his grip on your trembling wrists. You winced as the pizza slicer fell to the ground with a clatter. “Come back with us to our hideout with us, princess. We’ve got everything you need to survive out here.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you sick freaks!”

With that, you rammed the heel of your boot against the man's shin and snapped your head back against his chin, hard. His grip on you loosened and you took the split-second opportunity to slip out of his grasp, rushing to the door. The man named Jay was to your right, and you were surprised at how he stood rooted to his spot a bit taken aback, but he wore an amused expression as if he were impressed.

To your dismay, you were yanked back by the waist and thrust up hard against the wall by the throat. A mix of pain and anger flared through your body.

“Sunghoon!” Jay shouted.

“You’re testing my patience, princess. In case you’re not aware this is ground zero. There’s a lot of them out there amongst other things and you think rushing out is a smart move right now?”

“I’d rather be eaten by those mindless zombies than become dinner for cannibals like you,” you bit out, gouging your jagged dirt-caked nails into Sunghoon’s forearm. He hissed, but you couldn’t tell if it was in pain or pleasure.

“Especially a freak like you,” you dared to say, raising one of your brows.

The stunned look in his eyes shifted to something you recognized as hunger as he inclined his chin.

“We’re not that uncivilized.”

“Sunghoon,” Jay warned, gripping his partner’s forearm. His eyes were fierce as he glared at the other, then they met yours, rooting you to your spot from the sheer intensity of his expression.

“Listen closely to me. It’s going to be safer with us. I know how it feels to be starving, to not know where you’re going to lay your head at night or have your next meal. To have lost everything. You’re a survivor,” he said and you wouldn’t admit out loud how the word resonated with your whole being. “Let us help you.”

“I don’t trust you! God knows what you do to people. That’s human blood you were talking about consuming for Christ's sake. Nothing was ever for free before all this shit went down, I know that sure as hell hasn’t changed. Now let me go, you bastards.”

Sunghoon’s dark eyes darted to the outside and he unsheathed the large sword from his back with his free hand. The all too familiar noise of the walking undead was even closer than before.

“You’re smart not to,” Jay admitted. “But there’s more to the story.”

“I don’t need to know more. I don’t want to know more,” you gritted your teeth and clawed at Sunghoon’s wrist.

“Enough,” Jay shoved Sunghoon’s arm away and tenderly replaced his hand on your throat, thumb pressing gradually into your pulse, “We will provide for you, and you’ll provide for us.”

You flinched, Jay’s hand nearly wrapped around your entire throat, but you could tell his touch was different. Still, no one got away with threatening you, not for long. His black eyes regarded your struggling form, almost like voids until they shined red in the darkness.

He firmly pressed his body to yours to keep you from thrashing against him. An unexpected scent engulfed you; reminiscent of light musk and fresh blackberries you used to pick in fields as a child. It was the most delicious scent you’ve smelt since finishing the last can of your peaches.

You gasped as your arms slowly slid down to your sides as your veins began to hum. The pressure on your neck made your eyes flutter and you looked up at him, confused. The color of his eyes made you blink twice. Your knees might’ve given out if his other bandaged hand wasn’t gripping your waist. Would this be your last memory before death swallowed you up?

“Are you going to hurt me?”

“...I’ll try not to.”

His words were ambiguous and laced with something dark but you were suddenly so tired of fighting. It wasn’t like you to stop fighting, but at the same time, it was. You’d just been suppressing it. You were exhausted from the never-ending battle you fought after losing everything you cared about.

Your friends, your family, your future that was supposed to be filled with promise, meaningful relationships, and heart-stopping adventure. Not loss, fear, and loneliness.

Deep inside, you wanted to live, but not if you’d be living like how you’ve been for the past month. Still, you swore that in the end, you would never give in for as long as you lived on this damned earth.

“Okay?”

"oh, shit—" you curse, hand flying up to your head as you attempt to smooth down whatever pieces of hair would cooperate. heeseung chuckles, clearly amused at your reaction.

"don't act so surprised. for the past three nights that you've been staying here, i've seen you drool on your pillow every single night without fail," heeseung says playfully.

you feel like melting right into the ground.

"please don't remind me of my gross sleeping habits," you mutter under your breath, fiddling with the toiletry bag in your hand.

"it's cute," heeseung reassures and your stomach does a gigantic somersault.

"well i'm cuter once i've showered," you reply, jerking your head towards the direction of the shower stalls.

"and to that, i agree," heeseung teases once more, sending you a wink before walking away.

you stand there, heart racing and palms sweaty, unsure of what to make of your short encounter with lee heeseung.

ever since ren, one of the resident satyrs, brought you over to camp half-blood days ago, all that's been on your mind is the fact that you're half fucking god and that you have magical abilities somehow.

oh, and also heeseung. heeseung's been on your mind a lot.

in your defense, how could he not be? he's head counselor of the hermes cabin, he has impeccable archery skills, he's a pro at sword-fighting, he's friendly, and as you've previously acknowledged, he's super hot. it's as if there's not a thing on this earth that he can't do.

your thoughts are abruptly cut as you hear the cabin door open and close behind you. whipping around, you see another hermes kid, ryujin, stepping out into the early morning sunlight.

"oh, hey," ryujin greets casually. she eyes the bundles up clothes and shower stuff in your hands.

"on your way to shower?" she asks. you nod, eyes eventually veering off to the side as you see heeseung reappear in the distance.

ryujin laughs beside you, slinging an arm around your shoulders as she maneuvers you towards the showers.

"don't go crushing on anybody just yet," ryujin warns, giving you a look. "remember, you're unclaimed. and, i apologize profusely for bringing this up, you grew up in an orphanage, so you have no way of knowing whether your godly parent is your mom or dad. there is a chance that you and heeseung could end up as siblings."

you let out a sound of disgust, the realization of what ryujin said settling in heavily in your stomach.

"okay, you're right," you agree with a sigh.

"i just hope whoever my godly parent is doesn't take a long ass time in claiming me," you complain, head craning to get a better look at heeseung's disappearing figure in the distance.

---

"who do you think it is?" heeseung asks as he hands you a bow. you take it, holding it awkwardly as you try to gauge just how much it weighs.

"who?" you ask, slightly confused. heeseung gives you yet another one of his amused smiles, holding out a quiver of arrows for you to take.

"your godly parent," heeseung clarifies, watching you sling the quiver across your back. you pull out an arrow, nocking it the same way you saw heeseung do it earlier.

"oh, well, um...," you begin, unsure of what to answer. you've had your suspicions, your mind racking up traits of yours and comparing it with the other campers. you could be an athena kid. your grades at school were always great. on the other hand, you could be one of the apollo kids. you always had an interest in music, although you never participated in it yourself. or, as ryujin had suggested, you could be a hermes kid and this whole crush on heeseung would be nothing more than just an awkward situation.

"i don't know," you finally say, sighing. heeseung steps up behind you, hands wrapping over your own as he nocks the arrow for you. you stiffen, the warmth of heeseung's body and the faint scent of his cologne sending your heart into another frenzy.

"relax," heeseung whispers right next to your ear, thumb rubbing over your knuckles. you grip at the bow and arrow tighter, eyes focused on the target in front of you. you try to stay at ease, but with heeseung practically breathing down your neck, it's safe to say it's a little easier said than done.

you've never been more thankful to be the only ones at the archery range.

"if you get this one, i'm putting my money on apollo," heeseung whispers lowly before pulling away from you. you lick your lips, eyes locking on the bullseye. you take a deep breath, pulling your arm back before letting the arrow loose. a tingle runs through your body as soon as you let the arrow go and your jaw drops as you see it hit right in the middle of the target.

heeseung chuckles, turning to you.

"oh, you're an apollo kid for sure," heeseung says, nodding.

"anyone can be good at archery with enough practice," you protest. "i mean, look at you."

"yeah, as you said, with enough practice. this was your first time, sunshine," heeseung counters. he studies your face for a bit before smiling.

"i don't think i need to be teaching an apollo kid how to do archery. you wanna come down to the lake with me?"

---

"don't be surprised once the naiads start getting all up in your business," heeseung warns as he hauls a canoe towards the lake's shore. you tilt your head to the side in mild confusion.

"naiads?" you ask, walking up to the other end of the canoe to push. heeseung glances up at you as you heave, a smile spreading on his lips.

"the water nymphs," heeseung explains.

"oh," is all you say. the two of you eventually get the canoe close enough to the water, with heeseung signaling for you to climb on first.

"is this your first time canoeing?" heeseung asks as he climbs in after you. you nod, eyes staring at the calm waters in front of you. water nymphs getting all up in your business?

"you don't seem scared about it," heeseung points out as he starts to ease the canoe into the water. he slowly paddles backward, glancing over his shoulder momentarily before turning back to you.

"how do you feel about water?" heeseung asks. you raise your eyebrows at the question.

"it's...okay, i guess?" you reply, peering over the side of the canoe. you can make out the faint outlines of something beneath the surface, but you don't try to investigate.

just then, something bursts from the depths, effectively startling you, your hand immediately reaching over to grab at heeseung as you flinch away from whatever just jumped out of the water.

"oh, hi, didn't see you there."

a figure of a young girl floats in the water below you, her long brown hair floating around her shouldersin the most perfect way possible. she seemed to be naked, but you couldn't tell for sure. your cheeks immediately heat up.

"heeseung! you're here!" the girl squeals, floating over to heeseung's side of the canoe. you belatedly realize you're still holding onto his arm and you immediately let go.

"hey, amatheia," heeseung greets, giving the beaming naiad a quick smile.

"what brings you here?" amatheia asks, eyes shifting in your direction.

"showing _______ around," heeseung answers simply, head jerking towards your direction.

"oh," amatheia says, turning her full attention to you. she gives you a once over, eyes narrowed, taking in everything. you shift in your seat, unsure of what to do. heeseung catches your eye and smiles and you can't help but smile back.

amatheia lets out a curt sound of approval before turning back to heeseung with a bright smile.

"that's so nice of you," amatheia gushes, eyes seemingly sparkling as she continues to ogle at heeseung.

"but i'm pretty sure you came here to visit me too, right?" amatheia adds, looking hopeful. you start to get the feeling that this little water nymph may have taken a liking towards heeseung.

the feeling that blooms in your chest as you realize this isn't necessarily a pretty one.

the strange tingle you felt back in the archery range returns, with most of it gathering in your fingertips. just as you're about to brush it off, a sudden splash of water hits amatheia across the face.

her eyes widen in shock, eyes immediately staring daggers at you.

"i felt it come from you," amatheia accuses. "i'll let you know that i don't go easy on poseidon's kids, either."

"i didn't—"

"it was nice talking to you, amatheia," heeseung cuts you off, paddling away as fast as he could. amatheia simply glares at the two of you, her figure slowly sinking back down into the water.

"you've got me confused here," heeseung says, a little out of breath as he keeps the pace of his paddling up. "whose kid are you?"

you stare at your hands, trying to make sense of what just happened.

"i'm just as lost as you," you admit, your bottom lip catching between your teeth.

heeseung stares at you for a moment before a grin makes its way onto his face.

"i sure hope you're not one of my dad's."

---

the two of you arrive in time for dinner at the mess hall. heeseung asks you to sit next to him at the hermes table, making sure you had enough food and reminding you to make an offer to the gods.

"this is so weird," you comment as you scrape some of your mashed potatoes off your plate into the pavilion fire. "i'm making an offering to my godly parent who i don't even know."

"sshh, you're making an offering to all the gods," heeseung corrects, giving you a pointed look but softening it with a smile afterward.

"oh," you say sheepishly. "sorry, gods."

dinner goes by smoothly, the hermes kids making it a fun time as usual. heeseung often leads the jokes and you can't help but laugh at all of them. you catch ryujin's eye from across the table and she gives you a look as if to say, 'remember what i said'. you shrug, too giddy with heeseung's antics at the moment to care.

as dinner comes to a close, all the campers start to flock towards the amphitheater, excited chatter buzzing around you, with the apollo kids plan what songs to sing and ares kids bickering with the athena kids. ryujin walks alongside you as the two of you make small talk, that is, until you feel a tap on your shoulder.

"hey, wanna sit next to me?"

your head whips around to find heeseung walking behind you, his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants, the classic orange camp half-blood shirt clinging onto his toned body.

"sure," you reply not even a second later. you tell ryujin to go ahead and all she does is roll her eyes. you walk alongside heeseung, the two of you making your way towards the campfire in silence.

heeseung pulls you towards the upper seats of the amphitheater, gesturing for you to sit down first. he settles in beside you, pressing right up against your side as more campers squeeze into the other seats. you try not to make it so obvious that the proximity is making you nervous, but the way your fingers pick at the material of your jeans seems to fail you.

heeseung observes you for a few seconds before he reaches over to your lap, wrapping his hand around your fidgety one. you look up at him in surprise and all he does is smile.

"hermes kids love to fidget," heeseung recounts. "all of us can't seem to sit still."

"but, i still hope you're not a hermes kid," heeseung adds, chuckling.

"why?" you ask. it's your turn to be amused. you don't want to read too much into it, but something tells you he has his reasons for wishing so.

"it's—"

heeseung stops, eyes shifting to something above your head. his eyes go wide, and before you can ask him what's wrong, a warmth spreads over your entire body. the tingling feeling from earlier comes back and you panic slightly, confused as to what's happening.

you look up, curious to see what in the world heeseung could be staring at when your heart jumps at the sight of a glowing purple symbol above your head.

"hecate! she's one of us!"

you turn to the side to see an overexcited camper with dyed silver hair jumping up and down. you turn back to heeseung, a million thoughts running through your head.

"hecate? like the goddess of magic?"

heeseung laughs, nodding enthusiastically. "exactly!"

a round of applause erupts around the campfire, your face breaking out into the widest of smiles. your attention is drawn away when another glowing symbol appears above another camper's head.

you join in on the applause as a few more claimings take place, cheers and hollers ringing through the camp.

all the while, heeseung's hand never left the small of your back.

---

"so, the thing with the arrow wasn't apollo after all," heeseung muses, slinging one of your bags over his shoulder as the two of you walk across camp towards the hecate cabin.

"it was just you doing telekinesis."

"and," heeseung continues. "when you splashed amatheia in the face, it wasn't poseidon. that was just your hydrokinesis."

you shrug, the whole claiming situation still a huge blur to you.

"i think that explains a lot," you wonder out loud. "i always thought the orphanage i grew up in was haunted. turns out that could've just been me when i'm annoyed."

you let out an annoyed sigh. "but, i still can't believe i can do magic. fucking magic! all this time i was some sort of a sorcerer and i didn't know!"

heeseung laughs at this, offering his hand towards you. you stare at his outstretched arm for a few seconds before looking at heeseung, then looking back at his hand. you hesitantly place your hand in his, his fingers immediately wrapping around yours.

"i was going to offer to carry your other bag, but i think this is better," heeseung declares, breathing in deeply and letting it out.

jungwon panics, licking his bleeding lip that stings, but he doesn't mind the pain as you've just put yourself at gunpoint. his voice breaks.

"____, what are you doing?"

"what i have to do, won. if heeseung dies, i die too" you hiss through your teeth, trying to convince sunghoon to keep the boy alive. seeing you're being a stubborn sister sunghoon shakes his head slowly as he lowers the gun until it's pointed at the ground. you sigh in relief, thanking him before turning to face heeseung who's standing there in pure shock. you run to him and give him a big hug, making heeseung feel confused about what's going on and why do you have your arms wrapped around him so tightly.

"i'm not letting anybody kill you" you say, looking up at him and seeing how lost heeseung looks. but he stays quiet and no words come out of his mouth, creating a silence that feels so loud.

"alright, lock him up now, you don't know when he'll turn again" sunghoon speaks, but you cut him off quickly.

"no need to lock him up. he is the secret weapon and we need him because any harmful monster can show up at any time and heeseung is the only one here who can kill it"

"during the golden hour only" your brother tries to remind you what you already know, but you still don't want heeseung to be locked in a small room like a prisoner.

"still, he's powerful enough to help us even when he hasn't turned. stop being such an asshole to everyone, hoon. that's not how parents raised you"

"leave our parents out of this," he scoffs, "fine, we won't lock heeseung up, but i am not responsible of what could happen. now go get some rest. i'll wake you up when it's your time to watch the place"

making your way to the room you take heeseung's hand and let him stay in the same room with you, trying to forget all the arguments with sunghoon. heeseung sits down slowly, looking at you curling into a ball on the mattress as the blanket is too thin to warm you up to a comfortable level. he takes another blanket that's supposed to be for him and puts it on you, hating the way you're shaking from the cold.

"why were you hugging me earlier?" his sudden question makes your heart drop. you look at him and swallow thickly before speaking.

"it's because i believe in you. i hugged you to show it. all those times i've seen you in your monstrous state, you never left your humanity behind. i was never scared of it whenever you were not you. because you were always fighting against the bad even while being one of these creatures. that thing… it must've tried to make it worse for you but it never succeeded. and i am proud of you for that. that's why i stand by your side and i am not letting my brother kill you"

heeseung's lips part, but once again, he says nothing but to you it's completely fine. you don't feel like it's necessary for him to say something. even though, sometimes he really wants to say something, but it simply wouldn't come out. so it stays at the back of his mind, with the hope that he can say it one day.

"goodnight" he says before laying down and closing his eyes, in a few minutes becoming fast asleep right in front of you.

the rays of sunshine peek through the window that’s barricaded with furniture to protect people from the monsters, and you’re sitting here allowing the sun to illuminate your face. your brother is right in front of you after trying to talk him into having a conversation about heeseung. it took quite a while to convince him into it, but eventually, sunghoon said yes.

“can i start off by asking you why the hell did you stand in front of my pistol yesterday? you know, it wasn’t funny at all”

you snort, “it was more serious than you can think” a sigh leaves your mouth, “that’s exactly what i wanted to talk about. you must be going crazy right now, so shall i start?”

the younger brother slightly shrugs his left shoulder.

“go ahead, i guess”

“well, i don’t know what you’re going to think or say to me, but, i wasn’t defending heeseung just because i know he’s still capable to hold that monster back. not only because he can save all of us and probably put an end to this disaster, there’s more,” sunghoon furrows his eyebrows as he looks at the floor for a second, and then back at you with a questioning face.

your heart is racing, knowing you have to tell your brother about the way you feel makes you nervous as hell. but it’s what needs to be said, otherwise things could take a different turn.

“this is going to sound so psychotic and delusional and what not, but sunghoon, i have feelings for him”

his eyes widen, lips part and lips turn into a smirk before he shakes his head, a loud snort echoing in the room. you don’t get it - whether he’s mad, confused, or just thinks you’re being stupid. even if he is your sibling, sometimes you just cannot figure out what his reactions mean.

“are you serious?” his face quickly becomes serious, pushing you into confusion.

“yes, i am. i am very serious about this. do you think i would be joking after i almost let you shoot me?”

sunghoon puts the baseball bat that’s wrapped with spike wires aside, placing his elbows on his knees as he leans in, eyes roaming the dusty floor. at this point this silence is driving you insane, but you don’t want to show it since it could make your brother angry really fast. you want to have this conversation like normal people, without having to fight and curse at each other which has happened a lot in the past.

“did you fall in love with the human heeseung or the monster heeseung?”

“i fell for him even before he turned. it hasn’t been too long, i know, but… it just happened. and that’s another reason why i wouldn’t let you kill him. he’s so strong, he’s dealing with that evil thing every day and still manages to stay himself, it’s what makes me believe everything could end up well and that heeseung can help. and i’m not saying we’re using him just so we can survive, it’s because he is also battling the monster inside of him for his own life. i know he also wants to live. to live well and happily, and maybe even get rid of the monster permanently if that’s possible”

hearing those words made heeseung’s heart break into pieces. it really hurt knowing he’s like this hence you’re still fighting for his life. but it pained him even more hearing your confession. he’s never expected that, never even had any idea that someone could feel that way about him, especially you who’s always been so good at pretending your heart doesn’t skip a beat when he’s near, that it doesn’t hurt whenever he turns and becomes something outrageous, that it doesn’t flutter whenever he smiles and that it doesn’t ache when he cries.

he stood against the wall next to the door of the room you and sunghoon were in. not wanting to get caught, he pushed himself off the wall and went to an empty room, closing the door and walking to the full body mirror in the corner of the room. slowly, but somehow, it was starting to sink in what’s actually going on and that this is reality which, sadly, is hard to accept.

“i’m a monster, why does she still care for me? why does she like me? no... why do i like her? why do i feel this way?” heeseung talks to himself as his eyes are getting watery while staring at his reflection that starts to change into the monster reflection as it comes to talk to him.

“oh, so many questions… heeseung, you’re so pathetic. why don’t you just become my friend? it’s not hard to do. we could do so much together, don’t you think? your human life has no meaning anyways, kid. nobody cares about you” it laughs at heeseung like he’s nothing, annoying him and making him angry.

“i can’t. and i won’t. that is not what i want. you’re not going to hurt me or anybody else. and i know my life has been crap, but i met someone who cares so why don’t you just-”

“come on, this is not about that girl! am i that useless? i’m actually way more powerful than you think. make up your mind, heeseung. think about it, think about how we could rule the world, kill people, be best friends! hmm, dead bodies look so good, right?”

“shut up!” heeseung yells, “you’re nothing besides a little help to kill those monsters, everything else about you is useless! you should die! die!”

control and temper is what is lost as heeseung’s fist hits the mirror, shattering it to pieces that fall on the ground everywhere under his feet. but he doesn’t care that his hand is cut, he’s going to heal in a few seconds anyways. but thinking it was going to work didn’t really help him to shoo the monster away. he appeared in the broken glass, smirking at heeseung who’s struggling to suppress his emotions.

“punching a mirror is not going to make me go away, heeseung”

“fuck you!” heeseung hisses through his teeth before grabbing a stick of a broom that was nearby and smashing the already shattered glass. heeseung sits down on the floor, throwing the broomstick away. luckily, he was yelling loud enough for you to hear and you couldn’t help but run to see what was happening in here. the second you stepped through the door, the monster disappeared into thin air and for heeseung it was a huge relief. you stopped in your tracks before your feet stepped on the crushed mirror pieces.

“oh my god, heeseung, what happened here?”

“nothing, i just accidentally-”

a gasp leaves your mouth.

“your hand is covered in blood! that was not an accident, why are you lying? something happened, please tell me what”

“fine. the monster talked to me and made me mad. to the point where i couldn’t keep my cool anymore and emotions just took over me. i’m sorry i made you worry”

you shook your head, “it’s okay. you should wash up, i don’t want you to reek of blood” you reached out your hand to help him, but he asked you a heart stopping question instead of taking it.

“you shouldn’t take care of me”

confused, you blinked a few times as if you didn’t get on with whatever he was saying. but it’s even funnier since heeseung knows you’re acting after eavesdropping on your and sunghoon’s conversation earlier. the hand you offered to help with was no longer reaching for his as you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“uh- let’s go, i’ll look for some fresh clothes for you” cutting the act you show him a little smile, leaving the room first as heeseung follows.

“is everything alright?” you meet jungwon on the way who’s most likely heard the yelling.

“yeah” you say, giving jungwon a warm smile that hopefully was convincing enough.

what heeseung said just a minute ago was making you think of so many things at once, asking yourself if he by any chance knows about your feelings, if his monster told him about it, maybe he heard the conversation, or possibly, heeseung is just tired of seeing you being so protective of him. it was driving you insane not having answers to these questions, creating an awkward and strange atmosphere between the two of you.

“here’s a shirt, a sweater, and pants for you. just be quick with the shower, you know we don’t have that much of water left”

heeseung nods, taking the clothes from you and heading to the bathroom, where he stands under warm water, thinking about every little detail and how to solve the problems, how to contain his anger whenever he’s on the verge of exploding.

all his life, heeseung struggled with focusing on himself and not paying attention to what others said. back when he used to go to school, heeseung was always alone, no one wanted to be friends with him, people gave him weird looks, called him so many names without even knowing about how his life is and what problems are making it tough for him. a young boy in blue jeans and white sneakers had dreams of becoming something strong and big, so that he could show the bullies that he wasn’t worthless, that he was more than just another kid in the school hall. they looked down on him, everyone always did until a few weeks ago when heeseung met you. it was an immediate sparkle, a click between the two of you that neither have ever felt, it’s like you and him met for a reason. and you never believed in soulmate stuff, but heeseung made you change your mind. you never liked the quiet guys, but it was you that made heeseung speak up. just seeing how much you care made him feel like finally, maybe this new chapter in his book will finally bring happiness.

i should talk to her.

wrapping a new bandage around jungwon’s ankle, you give him a question about heeseung.

“wonnie, what do you think about heeseung?”

he furrows his eyebrows.

“what do you mean?”

you smile, rolling his jeans down once you were done putting on the bandage.

“i mean, do you also think he’s harmful and should be killed?”

“no, absolutely not. i can see it all the time how he’s trying and trying, and trying again to stay himself. it’s so clear to everyone, yet sunghoon seems to misunderstand him”

“i’m happy to hear you’re on his side. my brother and i had a conversation earlier about this, but i am not quite sure if sunghoon still has the same view on heeseung or if it has become different. it’s kinda funny though, because i feel like my brother is a bit overprotective of me, but i do know what’s good for me and what is not. and i’m not mad at him, but if something happens to heeseung and sunghoon is behind it, then i will be. most likely more than mad. but i’m hoping that hoon won’t do anything stupid”

“i think most of the time siblings are overprotective, especially if they only have one sister or brother. if he loves you that much, i don’t think he could take something away from you that’s important. maybe yesterday he was just overreacting a bit”

you nod, “you’re right. he sometimes indeed has his emotions overflowing like a little idiot”

the both of you laugh until someone standing in the doorway startles you, leaving both you and jungwon with hands over your hearts.

“what are all those giggles about?”

heeseung stands there in his fresh clothes, drying his hair with a towel. he looks so handsome, so beautiful, that you zone out for a moment beginning to forget about everything around you, until jungwon waves his hand in front of your face.

“hey, are you listening? ____, snap out of it”

you shake your head and smile awkwardly, apologising for being out of this world for a second.

“u-uh, sorry. what did you say?”

“i was asking if we can have a chat” heeseung asks, making your heart drop to your feet. surely, you agree and follow heeseung to an apartment that used to be yours when you moved in here.

“so, what do you want to talk about? is there something wrong?”

“nothing is. well, maybe, kind of”

he swallows thickly, taking the towel off his shoulders and putting it on the counter nearby. he takes a deep breath before finally speaking up.

“all my life people have doubted me. i had no friends, i was a total loner. the other guys in school called me disgusting names and told me that i am nothing special. teachers didn’t care at all, my parents didn’t either because i simply lied about being okay and having a good time in school. i used to tell them i’m meeting my friends but in reality, i just walked down a few streets to this bridge and walked down the stairs to sit under it for a few hours. and i only did that to escape from the world, i always had my diary with me and i wrote in it” heeseung opened up a drawer that was dusty, taking out a dirty notebook and sitting down on the floor, inviting you to join.

“i said i’ll never let anyone read it because i had nobody to trust. but now that i do, you have my permission to open it and read it. oh, also, let me warn you beforehand that my handwriting was really ugly” he smiles, handing you the diary.

you take it carefully and open the first page, and it’s year 2017, but the month is not written, only the day which was saturday. and so, the notes tell you about heeseung’s past.

dear diary, i am not sure how to cope, it has been hard. i’m only sixteen, and i still haven’t found any friends at school. this one new guy has transfered to my class, but even he seems to be sticking with those bullies more than me. and i have two more years to go until i leave this place, but how can i get through it? i wish i knew how to solve this problem. but for now, my only friend is this diary that i can talk to without getting judged or yelled at. so for this, i am thankful. maybe i can push through by writing one page every day as i sit under this small bridge where water runs slowly. maybe i can set this as a goal. so starting from today, i will do my best to stay alive and fill in these hundreds of empty sheets day by day.

it hurts you reading every page, getting to know more and more about heeseung makes you feel the pain that he’s felt throughout the years. your heart aches for him, and it only gives you another reason to protect him and make sure he’s alright. as you flip the pages, tears well up in your eyes, like you’ve just re-lived what heeseung has. this boy had a tough life, and you wish you were there for him when he needed it. but you’re here now and that’s all that matters, heeseung finally has someone who actually gives a damn about him.

“i’m so proud of you because you’ve come so far” you say, closing the diary and giving it back to heeseung, wiping your tears away with the back of your sleeve, “and i am so glad that we met, even under such conditions and while in this disaster, i am happy to be the first person in your life who believes in you and someone you can trust. you deserve so much love, heeseung”

he bites his lip, smiling as he tries to hold his own tears back.

“me too. when i met you, it felt like my life flipped upside down and i finally found what i needed my entire life. i’m not scared to tell you my secrets, i’m not scared to trust you, i’m not afraid of making mistakes in front of you. it’s like… whenever you’re near, i feel safe, i feel at home, and you make me forget about all the bad things in life. even that stupid monster whose ass i’m trying to kick. and when i smashed that mirror… i was arguing with it. and i’m sorry i didn’t tell you at first. i was just so mad at it that it drove me nuts. and even when that mirror shattered into pieces, he still didn’t go away. he stayed until you stepped through the door. then, he just vanished. and last night when i slept in the same room with you, i had no nightmares. it’s like… it’s like that monster inside of me fears you even though you’re human”

“h-he disappears when i’m near?”

heeseung nods, “i guess so”

“that’s really strange… but it’s also good?”

“it is. you made it go away a few times already. you made all the worries go away. life doesn’t seem to meaningless when i have you with me and… maybe that’s why i fell for you”

your lip quivers as you look into his eyes, his words making you feel thousands of emotions, making your eyes water all over again and sending shivers down your spine.

“i did too. i fell for you. and i do not want to lose you, i will do everything and anything to save your life, i swear i’ll stand in front of a gun again if i have-”

heeseung shuts you up by kissing you on the lips, causing the butterflies in your stomach to go wild, tears roll down your cheeks, body go numb and mind go crazy. his lips feel so soft, his kiss feels so full of love, his first kiss feels like heaven to him, and your hands on his face feel so warm and gentle. in this moment, you get lost in time, you cannot think of anything else except him, heeseung, his kindness, how strong he is and how long he’s been fighting for his life. you don’t want to lose him, you don’t want him to get hurt, you only want him to have a good life, to smile, to say that he’s happy, to be able to finally say that he’s free.

you pull away slowly, looking into his dark brown eyes that are locked with yours, hearing your own heartbeat in your ears as it bangs against your chest.

heeseung whispers, “don’t. don’t stand in front of a gun. don’t sacrifice yourself for me. you cannot die like that. not before i do”

“then, heeseung… can you promise me something?”

“what is it?”

licking your lips, you take his hands and squeeze them tightly.

“if one day i turn into a monster… can you kill me?”

heeseung shakes his head, gently pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.