♡heartbreaker♡ @nic0ledgaf - Tumblr Blog

i just want today to be over with already.

does this get any better? i hate this.

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cryptic, can’t help but think it’s to show me, but 1) that just proves how big my ego is, 2) you were right about my ego, and 3) it makes me upset because logically it’s not about me. and maybe i wish it was different, just so so so different…

the mental and emotional toll, let alone lack of spiritual guidance, has been so taxing on me that i almost don’t even have words anymore to explain the disappointment and frustration i feel.

it seems like my heart attaches to many people, places, things both physical and abstract.

some may be minuscule, some large-scale, but an attachment nonetheless.

to all the people, places, things i love and loved before, i hope the magic i saw in you manages to linger, long after i’m gone, even if i have already moved on to the next.

i know i shouldn’t be selfish, i know it’s not anyone’s fault, but i just need space to be upset and frustrated…

even though i really should be used to it by now.

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feels like i just never get it right for you guys. like it’ll never be enough.

frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed. what am i supposed to do?

sometimes i just feel mad at the whole fucking world.

it’s exhausting and so draining to always be the bigger person.

my heart feels heavy again. must it change so swiftly once it begins to rain? or is there more to it?

hoping that saturday’s energy brings me back to myself again.

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most of the time it feels like i’m nowhere near where i want to be… but even then i don’t even know where i should be.

i still get real sad over friendships that ended or friendships that remained surface-level and nothing more.

… just talking about friendship will always feel like pouring salt on a wound.

thoughtkick

“I’m numb and I’m tired. Too much has happened today. I feel as if I’d been out in a pounding rain for forty-eight hours without an umbrella or a coat. I’m soaked to the skin with emotion.”

— Ray Bradbury

i am miserable.

hate feeling like no one’s listening to me, like i got the weight of the whole mf world on my shoulders. and now my seasonal depression feels like it’s gon’ hit me even harder this year.

the ebb and flow of life, one day i’m swimming, the next day drowning.

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always anxious before bed.

so many people drift in and out of my life that you would think that by now i would be used to it.

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