Peaks And Valleys

I can feel the edges of heart breaking whenever I hear little bits of your voice. You’re scar tissue that healed but I can still feel you. You only hurt when I poke and prod. I think I continue to watch the things she chooses to share because it’s the only parts of you I’ll get to see. It’s true, it’s self inflicted pain. I volunteer for it. Because to me, it’s not jealousy or negativity. You see, even though it’s your laughter in your new life and not your old one with me, your laugh still sounds the same. If I close my eyes, I can hear the laughter we shared and I can relive those memories just for a moment. Then I’ll open my eyes and just know that two people can love each other and no longer feel loved by another. In the end, the weight of our burdens destroyed us. We destroyed us and I have to remember that. But it’s still nice to hear your laugh even in bite size moments through a screen, even if it still hurts.

When I close my eyes I can relive all our moments together. Fragments of time I’ll never forget.

My soul feels so heavy.