decomposing

Ohhhhh my god he just texted me to tell me that he thinks about me every time he cums

The thing about getting smaller than I’ve ever been is that I hate every picture of myself within a month. I could take a picture and really like it but in a month I’m thinner and all I can see is how fat I was in that picture and wonder how I ever thought I looked good

FUCK! This would be so easy if he didn’t want me anymore but he does! And I want him! Our lives have taken totally opposite turns but we keep coming back to each other! We can never last, it’s just not possible, I know this I’ve accepted it I’ve grieved it. But still every time we reconnect it feels so good. So right. I should just cut him off completely, deal with the hurt and move on. I just can’t.

Gonna stand for my entire 8hr shift tonight cause I ate a lot today and sitting at a desk does not burn calories

I’ll be skinny and I’ll be pretty and someone will love me. It’s okay that he doesn’t love me because someone will. Eventually. I hope.

I just don’t care. It feels like I can’t

This is my first time being entirely on the opposite side of the situation. He’s emotionally invested, and I’m not. He used to make plans and bail on them constantly, and when I gave a shit that really hurt. Now, I honestly could not care less. I bail on plans with him frequently, and with the same excuses he always used to use. And it’s not totally on purpose, I don’t actively dislike him, it’s fine to hang out sometimes. But some days I just don’t feel like it. I do think it’s a little funny that he’s on the other side of this. He’s upset with me and I do not care. He’s being short over text and very obviously hinting that he’s mad at me, and I’m just responding as usual not giving it the time of day. He fucking ruined me two years ago. He’s upset now and he deserves it.