new jersey swag bracket

when i was a kid i found an anti-new jersey fb group & as someone from new jersey i took it really personally for some reason, so I'd go on there and on an almost daily basis I'd make posts like "wont you visit our beautiful coastline? :)" and all the comments were like "i hope you get run over by a car" and it would give me insane anxiety but i kept doing it

saw someone questioning whether this was in earnest or if i was trying to antagonize the nj haters and i want to make it clear that this was 100% sincere and i really thought i could change their hearts

hi this is mod asto sorry for the mizuki post im having a time about mizuki and didnt check the blog

? puts her on the bracket -mod ghost

fuck it. new jersey grand prix. cancel any european races you have to. this will change lives. think of the media they’d make them do. men who have lived in actual italy attempt to translate jersey italian slang. boardwalk vlog where they almost die on the water slide. get to the track but there’s 17 jughandles and pumping your own gas is illegal. think of the jersey devil special helmets. the cheetah print special helmets. multiple real housewives cast members died in the battle for who gets to wave the checkered flag. the national anthems are played live by mcr. the trophies are shaped like new jersey and bedazzled to hell and back. the entire event is sponsored by wawa. bruce springsteen is there. guys please i have a vision. 

make them do pr videos eating bagels with cream cheese and see how many of them are viscerally disgusted at the amount of cream cheese. bring up the pork roll / taylor ham egg and cheese debate. better yet serve the europeans a bacon egg and cheese with salt pepper and ketchup. do a pr stint where they have to drive on the turnpike at rush hour. or route 22 at rush hour. make them experience salt water taffy at the seaside heights boardwalk. watch their audacity when they learn you need to pay to go on beaches. make them go to atlantic city. make them go to a gas station. have a jersey slide competition. have them try to say weird jersey things in their accents. please dear fucking god it would be so damn funny.

y'all can not let this old man win