𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐘

"to play with one as such disgusts me, i don't know how anyone could have a conscience to do such a thing," thinking back to his princess he only hoped that no one treated her as a game to be won. the thought alone was enough to make him mad. "then your company will be one that is much enjoyed, and does this lady have a name?"

❝ it's terrible when you think into it, ❞ he agrees and he couldn't imagine doing that to ayla and he certainly would never want anyone to do that to safiye, ever. ❝ as will yours. and she does, ayla, the most beautiful girl i've ever seen, and i'm the luckiest fool in the world, if she wants me. ❞

the moment their lips touched , it brought ayla back to when she had been young and naive and had just felt a man's touch for the first time . it almost made her feel like she was back in that barn on her family's estate , kissing the boy of her dreams in the hidden shadows that the building had provided them . as he moved away from her lips , a soft whine left her lips as she allowed for teddy to take control and pull her onto his lap . it did not take her long to adjust into a comfortable position as dark hues gazed down lovingly at the man he had become . " i do not wish to have anyone else but you . i never wanted anyone else but you . "

his heart soared as she settled into his lap, he had dreamed about having her back in his arms. it felt as if his hear was to escape from his chest and he needs her to soothe it, his hands kept a hold of her, pressing her closer into him as he refused to break eye contact with her. ❝ you are all i've ever wanted, there's been no one but you. ❞ he promises, he's only ever wanted her. ❝ one day, i'm going to marry you, in front of everyone, i need them to know that you are mine and i am never letting you go. ❞ he had already lost her once, he wasn't about to do so ever again. his lips catch the underneath of her jaw as if to make a serious point.

"not that i'm looking at anyone for myself, it's all just interesting in a sense." lucas mused softly. "i didn't think london would be like this when i travelled here to resume my previous position," he explained as he crossed his legs. "and are you a vapid man or is there some decency within you? are you searching for someone as they are?"

❝ i don't think many see it as anything more than a game. ❞ he mused. he ponders the mans words for a moment, he didn't often consider himself decent, he had left the mother of his child without realising but he would pay for that every day that he missed. ❝ certainly not vapid. i have no reason to search, i've been in love with the same girl since i was a boy. ❞

"i do not understand why the ladies always go for the ones with the worst reputation, you would think that they would learn by now," pausing he sighed and shook his head, "or do you think that they feel as though they can change them?"

❝ i find because most people talk their perfections. ❞ he murmured. ❝ they look good to the mamas of the ton more then anything, and perhaps some are just as vapid as then men. ❞ theodore certainly didn't ever dare participate, he needed no one else, there was only one woman for him.

" you don't need to apologise , teddy . we were children . it would only make sense that we would get involved in miscommunication , " miscommunication that would lead to her marrying another to ensure their daughter was not affected by society and their nasty rumours . frowning gently , dark hues finally gazed upon the male that sat before her , " if we are to tell safiya about who you really are , i need to make sure you're not going anywhere . i want nothing more than to have you here with me but i am scared . " the truth was spilling from her teeth . ayla was scared to give him her heart again only for him to disappear once more . she couldn't let their daughter experience such a heartbreak .

he made the decision to move, to her side, barely even a breath between standing and making his way to her, before roughened hands found hers and he found himself on his knees before her. literally. ❝ i kept in contact with my mother, during my time away. ❞ he tells her, his mother was truly the only one who knew how much he loved the woman, though nothing more than a girl at the time, just as he was no more than a boy, and she passed on the updates. ❝ i kept away because you married, i left and you married, i thought you'd discarded my words, i know now you never got them, but i would have left you to your happiness, had my mother not mentioned the passing of your late husband. ❞ his mother had never mentioned the child that ayla bore, he wonders if that was partly to save his own heart, but he wished he'd known sooner. he brings the palm of her hand to his mouth in the softest whisper of a kiss. ❝ i came back for you, because i can be the man you deserved now, i can provide for you, for all three of us. ❞ he murmurs mournfully, wishing they were never in the position. ❝ if rumors would not swell, if your reputation would not tarnish, i would marry you now, i would claim safiya so publicly that no one would ever doubt her not to be mine. ❞ it's an oath he will now repeat until the day he passes. ❝ ayla, my darling, i have never, not once, ever lost the love i hold for you. i have not been with another since the night i left you. i will never be with another, they cannot fill the whole in my heart that you leave behind. i know you cannot trust me, i've broken that before, but i love you. i have always. ❞

❝     i  apoloise  for  the  earliness  of  the  hour,    miss.    ❞  but  since  having  met  ayla  again,    and  now  her  daughter,     no   his  daughter,     he  was  determined  to  prove  himself,    he  needed  to.     he’d  intended  to  simply  order  them  breakfast,    a  treat  that  ayla  and  he  often  shared  years  ago,    but  the  modiste  caught  his  attention  with  the  soft  pink  fabrics  in  the  window.     ❝    i  was  wondering  if  it  were  possible  to  commission  a  dress  from  you,    miss,     with  the  pink  fabrics  in  the  window,    for  a  six  year  old  ?     ❞

there’s  a  sigh  of  relief  that  leaves  him  as  he  takes  the  offered  seat  before  her.    for  some  off  reason,    theodore  believed  himself  to  be  turned  away  at  just  the  sight  of  him,    because  that  was  certainly  what  he  was  used  to.     ❝     thank  you  for  your  kindness,    miss,     it  is  greatly  appreciated     ❞

"i guess it all depends on whether or not his deepest secrets are far better than his character," he shrugged, "his character could be great but something else could be darker, who knows really."

❝ he's said to be rather vapid. ❞ if talks of the town are too be believed, he thinks. ❝ i truly doubt that his deepest secrets are better than he character. ❞

She found it truly fascinating, how he had not noted their differences. Perhaps it was enlightening, for him not to see their differences. For a moment, she was taken back, remaining silent before responding. “Did your mother ever teach you?” She smirked, tilting her head. 

❝ over the years, she managed a few, but i worked with my father in the stables most of my life. ❞ until he had run from the town. ❝ though, i was never much help, she began the favour sending me with my father just so the mess was easier to tame. ❞ he joked fondly. ❝ though i remember very little of it now. ❞

" i appreciate your words but i have been raising safiya since the moment she was born . " ayla spoke softly as she made herself busy , re-arranging the flowers within the drawing room . the dark haired woman wished for nothing more than to allow teddy back into her heart but she was terrified of allowing him to hurt her again . " how would you suggest we do this ? "

❝ and i shall continue to apologise for that every day of my life. ❞ theodore tells her honestly. he watched from his seat, watching her move, watching her almost avoid his gaze. ❝ i didn't know, i would of been here. ❞ and that was no lie, but he didn't know. ❝ i don't know how to do this, but i've not wanted anything as much. ❞ it was true, having spent years building his name, his money, everything for her, when news of the late husband rose, he had never returned so fast. ❝ i need you back, i want safiya to know who i am, truly. ❞

"you know i wonder if they would continue to argue over the same gentleman if they knew his deepest and darkest secrets," he mused softly to the other.

his train of thought disrupted, perhaps to invested in his daydreams to realise the other was talking, only catching the tail end of the sentence. ❝ should it not matter more of his own character rather than the secrets he keeps ? ❞