Neurotic Dad

Mrs N holding up a block of cheese: "Did you leave this out on purpose?"

Me: “No, sorry"

[Mrs N puts the cheese in the fridge]

Me [to the tune of ‘Gimme Shelter’]: “OH CHILDREN. SHE PUT THE CHEESE AWAY. SHE PUT THE CHEESE AWAY."

15 years ago, before my boy was born, I started this anonymous blog to connect with other parents. I was frightened and excited and worried and I wanted a place to gather my thoughts without anybody I know reading them or judging me.

What I found here, to my surprise, was an online community of supportive parents and some truly lovely and interesting people who became actual friends. (You know who you are.) These meaningful online connections happen all the time now, but back then it was new and unusual for me and kind of beautiful.

Electradaddy was one of them. He wrote about his own family, the joys and struggles of fatherhood, and occasionally the difficulties of life in America as a gay man. I also had the sense, reading between the lines, that he was a successful entrepreneur. Unlike yours truly, whatever his difficulties, he was never self-pitying.

In the interest of discretion, he deleted his blog when he took a public role, so I won’t name him. But we connected on FB and continued to kibbitz online. I loved the pride he took in his family, and how civic-minded he was, showing up for his community instead of just posting about it. I hoped to actually see him in person one day but it never happened. I wish it had. I wish I had at least called him when he told me was sick.

He was so funny and his sense of humor could be really raw. It was amazing. He was also sensitive and supportive.

This morning he was all smiles and hugs before leaving for school.