what bade you come?

youre not a bad person to me youre my mutual

randalls kinda so funny hes like yea i decided to emotionally imprint on this teenage girl this teenage girl is my bestie. and then like eight hours later hes like so hey why didnt anyone remind me that teenage girls are insane and have martyr complexes and death wishes. this friendship is no longer epic its life and death.

*sprinkles fairy dust on you*

When you accidentally say the q word (quest) and your knight starts gently clanking from their happy wiggles like now you've done it, you have to send them into the dragon's lair or their helmet ploom will droop and they'll start waxing sad poetic in the moonlight

sources are saying "hello" and "hi"

nobody even wants to watch bruise healing timelapse with me

We were covering T.S. Eliot in class once and my professor quoted “This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper” then said “What does a whimper sound like? Can anyone give me a whimper?” and I whimpered. I was the only person in the class who fucking whimpered.

sure, i'll drink the pink swirly potion that released a little heart shaped cloud when you uncorked it. what's the worst that could happen