Church Bells

Yeah, the Sherlock thing doesn’t work so well when you get everything flat-out wrong.

“ Actually, not really. ” She smiles tightly- she hated when people thought she was dumb, usually because she was a southern girl. “ See, everything you’ve given me has proven that you’re boring, and the more you speak, the more obvious it becomes, that, and the fact you clearly have a high opinion of yourself- which is cringy. ”

You don’t know the first thing about me.

“ See that’s where y'all wrong city boah. We’ve been conversing for about two minutes or so. And in that time, you have told me in so many words that you don’t really like adventure. that y’all comfortable in the safe zone, not wanting to venture outwards. Which, in the long run, is borin’. Body language and the way you respond to things gives off more than y’all realize. ”

“I wouldn’t still be standing here if I didn’t.”

“ Oh honey, It might be better if you just cut ya losses, yeah ?? ”

“Nah, we’re just fine getting out of trouble as we are.”

“ That’s true. But it’s so fun playing naive and innocent. ”

“It sucks that we need to protect people from things that shouldn’t exist in the first place,” he agrees. “Through an IV. Damn. If I could get my coffee fix like that, I’d be in perpetual bliss.”

“ It’s true. We do and it’s so sad. ” She sighs before laughing. “ Exactly, same with me.”

“I can make it look like I accidentally shot him.”

“ That’s accurate. Oh if only we were blonde, that would be a plus too. ”

“I pride myself in being a good judge of character.  You can tell if a person is worth your time or not pretty quickly and I don’t like to waste my time.  So I only pursue ones worth my time.”

“ And you believe I am ?? ”

And I’d like to keep it that way.

“ Y’all completely boring. ”

“Ya know good and damn well it wasn’t me.”

“ I know ya didn’t accidentally shoot him. If ya were gonna shoot him, it would have been on purpose. ”

“I have standards.  I don’t go with anyone.”

“ Well you just offered after five minutes of knowing me. ”

“Nothing wrong with that. I hope she stays that way, scary world out there and all.” He nods. “Ahh, so you still get your caffeine fix somehow. I respect that. I like Coke.”

“ Me too, though I would hope others will raise their child to make this world less scary. ” She nods. “Yes, Caffeine through an IV of coke is my preference. ”

“Depends on my mood.  Since moving here, not as many as I would like.  You wanna help with that?”

Her smile tightens. “ Look elsewhere. One night stands aren’t really my stream. Though I’m sure there are plenty that are fast and easy here. ”

“True.  Some southern boys don’t know better.  But yanks are the worst.  Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

“ Seriously, I wanna know if it was you or him. ”

“Nah, ya know southern boys know betta than to think a southern girl ain’t got no idea how to shoot.  It was a fuckin’ yankee.  He did almost get his nads shot off though.”

“ That’s wha I figured. I mean we both know there are some southern boys who try to show it up, but most get us. Now who almost shot ‘em off, you or him ?? ”

“In most cases I’m to hung over to bother looking for my shirt after my escapades gorgeous.  Don’t have to tell me twice.  I can annoy my brother by simply breathing.”

“ And do ya have many of your.. late night adventures, shall we call ‘em ?? ”

“Gotta love when dem boys go and over compensate for things, amen?  Ya’d think they’d know we southern girls don’t kid around with our toys.”

“ Was it a yankee boy who did that to ya ?? Or was it just some southern boy tryin’ to be impressive to ya and just nearly got his nads shot off ?? ” 

“Well, yeah, but that’s just an exception”

“ Is it really though ?? ”