Bird and Bear and Hare and Fish, Give My Love Her Fondest Wish

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

I don't want a Career I want to Fuck Around

And not find out. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want to find out.

When a girl sits down and her thighs get bigger reblog if u agree

they should invent a brain that doesn't whisper bad things to you.

Just want really good sex after a museum date

fuck. i love my own blog. it’s almost like it’s full of things i would post it’s crazy

Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)

thinking about when i mentioned tom and jerry by title alone to my 65 year old father and his only response was to laugh REALLY hard and say "him and that fucking mouse.." while staring into the distance. and then the conversation was over

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc

why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER

hi I want nudes and lewds in my dms now pls thanks