But some people seem to actually think that "Not getting punished for physically hurting other people" is a disability accommodation that autistic people somehow want.

Yes, "not touching and cornering the person who doesn't want to be touched and cornered" and other common sense things can solve a large amount of autistic-NT conflict, just like not shouting in people's face can prevent NT-NT fights.

But people will conflate autism and violence despite absolutely no evidence that autistic people are more violent than NTs, in general, and lay the groundwork for abuse of autistic people, fear of autistic people, and ostracism of autistic people-

And at the same time, will act like it never occurred to them that autistic people, being human beings, feel guilt and develop awareness and cannot possibly be very happy with a situation in which they can't stop hurting other people even if someone tells them that it's fine and protects them from punishment-

And at the same time, imply that never punishing autistic children is the norm, which is the opposite of true, but makes everyone and their uncle want to personally even that score-

And at the same time, imply that neurotypicals don't need protection, neurotypicals don't respond to their own environments, neurotypicals need less kindness than autistic people somehow-

Given your definition of abuse, isn’t everything abusive?

“Bumping or brushing”- That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I’ve definitely bumped and brushed into people. I’ve even bumped butts.

Staring. That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I can’t even tell if I’m doing it.

Being “hot and cold” is emotionally abusive. Even if sometimes you can’t find the words, or can’t help freezing, or are too sad and numb and exhausted to text back.

Slamming doors is abusive. It’s intimidating. Even if it’s not intentional. Maybe you propped up the broom uncarefully and someone heard it fall and thought you threw it. Does it really matter if it has the same effect?

Don’t even get me started on meltdowns.

Overdosing is abusive when an abuser does it. I’ve had people see the results of my self harm.

Touching people is harassment if they don’t want it. Women are socialized to say they want it even if they don’t. Just read their cues. It’s obvious.

Avoiding touching people, freezing when people touch you- That can be a symptom of bigotry. Don’t say you don’t think you did something wrong. You’re not the one who gets to decide.

Denying the feelings you obviously have- that’s abusive, it makes people crazy and miserable. What if you don’t have the feelings you obviously have? It still makes people crazy.

Not preventing someone else from being abused, even if you didn’t know how-Being a bystander is pretty similar to being an abuser yourself.

Weaponized weakness is abusive. The definition between this and regular weakness is vague.

Weaponized incompetence is abusive. The definition between this and being unable to do something is unclear.

…

People don’t believe that I could think this way. They don’t think I could believe the things they said, in the way that they said them.

…

Here is what you do if you’re an abuser.

Shut up.

Don’t say, “I’m sorry.” Abusers apologize to keep people with them but it doesn’t make anything better.

Don’t say “I didn’t mean to.” It’s not about your intent.

Don’t explain. An apology is not an explanation.

Don’t defend yourself. People can deal with you the way they want to deal with you. It’s called the consequences of your actions.

Don’t ask questions. It’s not anybody else’s job to teach you how not to be abusive.

Keep educating yourself. Keep reading about this online. Don’t point out when the things you are reading demand impossible things using words that don’t make sense. Don’t point out when the people making the demands seem abusive themselves.

…

Abusers only do kind things to keep people with them. It’s the kindness that makes it worse.

Abusers only say they were abused when they want to hurt other people.

Abusers should not be doing activist work.

Abusers don’t get opinions on what is and isn’t abuse.

…

Abusers should honestly shut themselves up in a small cabin in the woods and leave us alone.

Abusers should have no peace, no rest, should not be happy or safe when so  many people are not.

Love is not abuse. You do not love the people you abuse. You shouldn’t say you do, because that would be lying.

…

It doesn’t matter if you “meant to”.

Certainly don’t cry about it.

…

If you take people in good faith, interpret them literally, and are very worried about hurting people without understanding why, and you’re trying to figure out how to treat people kindly through internet research-

Given your definition of abuse, isn’t everything abusive?

“Bumping or brushing”- That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I’ve definitely bumped and brushed into people. I’ve even bumped butts.

Staring. That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I can’t even tell if I’m doing it.

Being “hot and cold” is emotionally abusive. Even if sometimes you can’t find the words, or can’t help freezing, or are too sad and numb and exhausted to text back.

Slamming doors is abusive. It’s intimidating. Even if it’s not intentional. Maybe you propped up the broom uncarefully and someone heard it fall and thought you threw it. Does it really matter if it has the same effect?

Don’t even get me started on meltdowns.

Overdosing is abusive when an abuser does it. I’ve had people see the results of my self harm.

Touching people is harassment if they don’t want it. Women are socialized to say they want it even if they don’t. Just read their cues. It’s obvious.

Avoiding touching people, freezing when people touch you- That can be a symptom of bigotry. Don’t say you don’t think you did something wrong. You’re not the one who gets to decide.

Denying the feelings you obviously have- that’s abusive, it makes people crazy and miserable. What if you don’t have the feelings you obviously have? It still makes people crazy.

Not preventing someone else from being abused, even if you didn’t know how-Being a bystander is pretty similar to being an abuser yourself.

Weaponized weakness is abusive. The definition between this and regular weakness is vague.

Weaponized incompetence is abusive. The definition between this and being unable to do something is unclear.

…

People don’t believe that I could think this way. They don’t think I could believe the things they said, in the way that they said them.

…

Here is what you do if you’re an abuser.

Shut up.

Don’t say, “I’m sorry.” Abusers apologize to keep people with them but it doesn’t make anything better.

Don’t say “I didn’t mean to.” It’s not about your intent.

Don’t explain. An apology is not an explanation.

Don’t defend yourself. People can deal with you the way they want to deal with you. It’s called the consequences of your actions.

Don’t ask questions. It’s not anybody else’s job to teach you how not to be abusive.

Keep educating yourself. Keep reading about this online. Don’t point out when the things you are reading demand impossible things using words that don’t make sense. Don’t point out when the people making the demands seem abusive themselves.

…

Abusers only do kind things to keep people with them. It’s the kindness that makes it worse.

Abusers only say they were abused when they want to hurt other people.

Abusers should not be doing activist work.

Abusers don’t get opinions on what is and isn’t abuse.

…

Abusers should honestly shut themselves up in a small cabin in the woods and leave us alone.

Abusers should have no peace, no rest, should not be happy or safe when so  many people are not.

Love is not abuse. You do not love the people you abuse. You shouldn’t say you do, because that would be lying.

…

It doesn’t matter if you “meant to”.

Certainly don’t cry about it.

…

If you take people in good faith, interpret them literally, and are very worried about hurting people without understanding why, and you're trying to figure out how to treat people kindly through internet research-

Given your definition of abuse, isn’t everything abusive?

“Bumping or brushing”- That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I’ve definitely bumped and brushed into people. I’ve even bumped butts.

Staring. That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I can’t even tell if I’m doing it.

Being “hot and cold” is emotionally abusive. Even if sometimes you can’t find the words, or can’t help freezing, or are too sad and numb and exhausted to text back.

Slamming doors is abusive. It’s intimidating. Even if it’s not intentional. Maybe you propped up the broom uncarefully and someone heard it fall and thought you threw it. Does it really matter if it has the same effect?

Don’t even get me started on meltdowns.

Overdosing is abusive when an abuser does it. I’ve had people see the results of my self harm.

Touching people is harassment if they don’t want it. Women are socialized to say they want it even if they don’t. Just read their cues. It’s obvious.

Avoiding touching people, freezing when people touch you- That can be a symptom of bigotry. Don’t say you don’t think you did something wrong. You’re not the one who gets to decide.

Denying the feelings you obviously have- that’s abusive, it makes people crazy and miserable. What if you don’t have the feelings you obviously have? It still makes people crazy.

Not preventing someone else from being abused, even if you didn’t know how-Being a bystander is pretty similar to being an abuser yourself.

Weaponized weakness is abusive. The definition between this and regular weakness is vague.

Weaponized incompetence is abusive. The definition between this and being unable to do something is unclear.

…

People don’t believe that I could think this way. They don’t think I could believe the things they said, in the way that they said them.

…

Here is what you do if you’re an abuser.

Shut up.

Don’t say, “I’m sorry.” Abusers apologize to keep people with them but it doesn’t make anything better.

Don’t say “I didn’t mean to.” It’s not about your intent.

Don’t explain. An apology is not an explanation.

Don’t defend yourself. People can deal with you the way they want to deal with you. It’s called the consequences of your actions.

Don’t ask questions. It’s not anybody else’s job to teach you how not to be abusive.

Keep educating yourself. Keep reading about this online. Don’t point out when the things you are reading demand impossible things using words that don’t make sense. Don’t point out when the people making the demands seem abusive themselves.

…

Abusers only do kind things to keep people with them. It’s the kindness that makes it worse.

Abusers only say they were abused when they want to hurt other people.

Abusers should not be doing activist work.

Abusers don’t get opinions on what is and isn’t abuse.

…

Abusers should honestly shut themselves up in a small cabin in the woods and leave us alone.

Abusers should have no peace, no rest, should not be happy or safe when so  many people are not.

Love is not abuse. You do not love the people you abuse. You shouldn’t say you do, because that would be lying.

…

It doesn’t matter if you “meant to”.

Certainly don’t cry about it.

…

Given your definition of abuse, isn’t everything abusive?

“Bumping or brushing”- That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I’ve definitely bumped and brushed into people. I’ve even bumped butts.

Staring. That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I can’t even tell if I’m doing it.

Being “hot and cold” is emotionally abusive. Even if sometimes you can’t find the words, or can’t help freezing, or are too sad and numb and exhausted to text back.

Slamming doors is abusive. It’s intimidating. Even if it’s not intentional. Maybe you propped up the broom uncarefully and someone heard it fall and thought you threw it. Does it really matter if it has the same effect?

Don’t even get me started on meltdowns.

Overdosing is abusive when an abuser does it. I’ve had people see the results of my self harm.

Touching people is harassment if they don’t want it. Women are socialized to say they want it even if they don’t. Just read their cues. It’s obvious.

Avoiding touching people, freezing when people touch you- That can be a symptom of bigotry. Don’t say you don’t think you did something wrong. You’re not the one who gets to decide.

Denying the feelings you obviously have- that’s abusive, it makes people crazy and miserable. What if you don’t have the feelings you obviously have? It still makes people crazy.

Not preventing someone else from being abused, even if you didn’t know how-Being a bystander is pretty similar to being an abuser yourself.

Weaponized weakness is abusive. The definition between this and regular weakness is vague.

Weaponized incompetence is abusive. The definition between this and being unable to do something is unclear.

…

People don’t believe that I could think this way. They don’t think I could believe the things they said, in the way that they said them.

…

Here is what you do if you’re an abuser.

Shut up.

Don’t say, “I’m sorry.” Abusers apologize to keep people with them but it doesn’t make anything better.

Don’t say “I didn’t mean to.” It’s not about your intent.

Don’t explain. An apology is not an explanation.

Don’t defend yourself. People can deal with you the way they want to deal with you. It’s called the consequences of your actions.

Don’t ask questions. It’s not anybody else’s job to teach you how not to be abusive.

Keep educating yourself. Keep reading about this online. Don’t point out when the things you are reading demand impossible things using words that don’t make sense. Don’t point out when the people making the demands seem abusive themselves.

…

Abusers only do kind things to keep people with them. It’s the kindness that makes it worse.

Abusers only say they were abused when they want to hurt other people.

Abusers should not be doing activist work.

Abusers don’t get opinions on what is and isn’t abuse.

…

Abusers should honestly shut themselves up in a small cabin in the woods and leave us alone.

Abusers should have no peace, no rest, should not be happy or safe when so  many people are not.

Love is not abuse. You do not love the people you abuse. You shouldn’t say you do, because that would be lying.

…

It doesn’t matter if you “meant to”.

Certainly don’t cry about it.

…

Given your definition of abuse, isn’t everything abusive?

“Bumping or brushing”- That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I’ve definitely bumped and brushed into people. I’ve even bumped butts.

Staring. That’s harassment. That’s abusive. I can’t even tell if I’m doing it.

Being “hot and cold” is emotionally abusive. Even if sometimes you can’t find the words, or can’t help freezing, or are too sad and numb and exhausted to text back.

Slamming doors is abusive. It’s intimidating. Even if it’s not intentional. Maybe you propped up the broom uncarefully and someone heard it fall and thought you threw it. Does it really matter if it has the same effect?

Don’t even get me started on meltdowns.

Overdosing is abusive when an abuser does it. I’ve had people see the results of my self harm.

Touching people is harassment if they don’t want it. Women are socialized to say they want it even if they don’t. Just read their cues. It’s obvious.

Avoiding touching people, freezing when people touch you- That can be a symptom of bigotry. Don’t say you don’t think you did something wrong. You’re not the one who gets to decide.

Denying the feelings you obviously have- that’s abusive, it makes people crazy and miserable. What if you don’t have the feelings you obviously have? It still makes people crazy.

Not preventing someone else from being abused, even if you didn’t know how-Being a bystander is pretty similar to being an abuser yourself.

Weaponized weakness is abusive. The definition between this and regular weakness is vague.

Weaponized incompetence is abusive. The definition between this and being unable to do something is unclear.

…

People don’t believe that I could think this way. They don’t think I could believe the things they said, in the way that they said them.

…

Here is what you do if you’re an abuser.

Shut up.

Don’t say, “I’m sorry.” Abusers apologize to keep people with them but it doesn’t make anything better.

Don’t say “I didn’t mean to.” It’s not about your intent.

Don’t explain. An apology is not an explanation.

Don’t defend yourself. People can deal with you the way they want to deal with you. It’s called the consequences of your actions.

Don’t ask questions. It’s not anybody else’s job to teach you how not to be abusive.

Keep educating yourself. Keep reading about this online. Don’t point out when the things you are reading demand impossible things using words that don’t make sense. Don’t point out when the people making the demands seem abusive themselves.

…

Abusers only do kind things to keep people with them. It’s the kindness that makes it worse.

Abusers only say they were abused when they want to hurt other people.

Abusers should not be doing activist work.

Abusers don’t get opinions on what is and isn’t abuse.

…

Abusers should honestly shut themselves up in a small cabin in the woods and leave us alone.

Abusers should have no peace, no rest, should not be happy or safe when so  many people are not.

Love is not abuse. You do not love the people you abuse. You shouldn’t say you do, because that would be lying.

…

It doesn’t matter if you “meant to”.

Certainly don’t cry about it.

…