ᜆᜓᜓ ᜃᜓ ᜏ @neodead - Tumblr Blog

i will... draw for fun... the things that..... bring me joy ...

#literally was talking to my friend the other day about how we both hate art but keep doing it for some fucking reason #I think the last time I enjoyed doing art for the sake of doing it was when I was like 14 #yet here I am #a lady in the shared studio near mine keeps unsubtly trying to get me to join an exhibition and it’s just like for WHAT idk why I do this im #just mentally ill man. the way im literally going out side in the nature tomorrow with some people from the studios to sketch or whatever #I’m in a weird toxic relationship with art #I wouldn’t mind my work being in an exhibition so long as it wasn’t tied to me in any way but that’s impossible so my as well kms #last exhibition I was part of… I was sooooo sane about #one thing I am only now thinking about is I wonder how much of my reticence towards exhibiting and commisions is due to… uh legal name and #gender reasons #lol whatever I do not want to think about that actually #I miss being good at art more than I miss enjoying it actually sorry everyone

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I love my best friend I love my best friend I love my best friend so much I would undoubtedly be dead without him I miss him so much I miss him sooooo much I am so sad why do we have to live in different countries why am I too mentally ill to travel right now I can’t even leave my flat I need to take the rubbish out but I can’t go outside this is so so so sad the last time we saw each other in person was January I’m going to throw UP

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I can’t even tell him how much I appreciate him a lot of the time because a) I find it difficult but he knows that and most importantly b) whenever I do he thinks I’m gonna kill myself

I love my best friend I love my best friend I love my best friend so much I would undoubtedly be dead without him I miss him so much I miss him sooooo much I am so sad why do we have to live in different countries why am I too mentally ill to travel right now I can’t even leave my flat I need to take the rubbish out but I can’t go outside this is so so so sad the last time we saw each other in person was January I’m going to throw UP

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Miniature Mountain with Daoist Paradise, 18th Century. Qing Dynasty (1644-1911), Qianlong period (1736-1795). Jade (nephrite).

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