i donโt know how to dance โฆ leon kennedy
summary: Leon is afraid of what might happen to everyone around him, which is why he always distances himself from the people he loves most, especially you.
pairing: leon!re9 x fem!reader
note: I came up with this fanfic while listening to a song, and it fit perfectly, itโs a Brazilian song called "Nรฃo sei danรงar" by Marina Lima; I absolutely love that song.
warnings: anguish, conflict, end of a relationship
โน English isnโt my first language (Iโm still learning), so if you spot any mistakes, please let me know nicely
๐ฎleon kennedy masterlist
Leon closed the apartment door wearily, his shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world were pressing down on him.
And in a way, he felt it was.
Leon had just returned from yet another mission that month, and he was exhausted. He hadn't had a moment of rest between assignments; his body protested every movement he made.
He leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath and running his hands over his face.
Tired of fighting bio-weapons, of battling the infectedโcreatures he knew had once been ordinary people before their flesh was torn apart. And, above all, he was tired of coming home to find you waiting for him every single time.
He hated the feeling of returning home and remembering that, while someone was waiting for him, so many others he was meant to save and protect would never have that same privilege.
Leon felt like this life wasn't meant for him. Peace and quiet weren't for someone who had seen the full extent of what humanity was capable of.
Your voice broke through his thoughts, snapping him out of his stupor. He slowly pushed himself off the wall, moving on autopilot. With a defeated air, he shuffled toward the living room.
He had hoped to find the warmth that usually greeted himโthe glow of the yellow lights. But todayโฆ today wasn't one of those days. It felt as though the thoughts weighing on his mind were blocking him from feeling anything at all.
And that was tearing him apart inside.
His weary eyes swept across the room, taking in every corner, recalling everything you had done togetherโeverything you had built together. Finally, his gaze settled on you. You were sitting on the sofa, hair tousled, wearing a shirt that was far too big for youโhis shirt. It looked as if you had just woken up.
Seeing you like that broke his heart; you weren't supposed to stay up waiting for himโyou shouldn't even have considered doing such a thing.
But that was just who you were. You were always concerned about the well-being of everyone around youโperhaps that was why he had fallen in love with you. And that was also why he always thought you would be happier away from him.
With that in mind, he decided to make the choice that, to him, seemed like the right one at the moment.
Leon looked at you intently, memorizing your beautiful face, before taking a deep breath. "We need to talk." His voice came out lowโdejected, even.
You looked at him in confusion, worry already taking over your mind. Had something happened on the mission? Had something gone wrong?
You stood up quickly, already imagining a million things he might say. "What happened? Are you okay?" You stepped toward him, searching every inch of his face; your hands found his stubble-covered cheeks, pulling him closer.
Seeing your concern for him, Leon felt a pang of anguish in his chest; for a few seconds, he considered abandoning the idea. But to him, this was the best decisionโto keep you safe.
"Iโฆ" He started, but fear held back the words that were to follow. Taking a deep breath, he held your hands and looked deep into your eyes, gathering the courage to speak. "We need to break up."
You stared at him in shock, searching his features for something, but his face remained serious. Devoid of any emotion.
"What are you talking about?" Your voice was low, barely a whisper. "You can't be serious."
Leon looked at you, and inside, he was falling apart. But he had to do this. He removed your hands from his face and stepped away from you.
"I need to break up with you."
Those words made you stagger backward; it felt as though youโd been slapped across the face. You could feel your eyes stinging with tears that were threatening to fall. โYouโre notโฆโ The words died on your lips. You couldnโt believe this was happening. โWhy are you doing this?โ Your voice was thick with emotion as you fought back tears.
You looked at him, hoping heโd say it was some kind of joke, but his expression told you it wasnโt a lie.
โWhyโฆ why are you doing this?โ you asked again, your voice firmer this time.
Leon remained silent for a few seconds, trying to find the right words, but all he could think about was your well-beingโkeeping you safe.
โBecause itโs not safe for you to be near me.โ His voice came out low and hoarse. He saw your face twist with a mix of indignation and concern.
You froze. An awkward, hollow laugh escaped your lips. Leon stared at you, expecting a barrage of comments, but that wasn't like you.
โI thought youโd moved past this.โ
โItโs not that simple. My jobโฆโ
โI know what your job is like!โ You cut him off immediately; taking a deep breath, you wrapped your arms around yourself, as if holding yourself together to steady the unsettling feeling rising within you. โI know what you go through on every mission. Weโve always talked about it, why are you bringing up safety now?โ
Leon ran a hand over his face, feeling a sharp pang in his ribs; only then did he notice the bruises. He had wanted this to be quick and less painful for you, but it seemed things weren't going the way heโd hoped.
โI knew what I was getting into!โ you continued. โI knew things weren't always easy for you. I know about the problems you have, the struggles you face. And I chose to stay by your side because I love you!โ
You felt a tear roll down your cheek, and before you knew it, you were crying. Leon remained silent, his jaw set tight as he tried to hold back his emotions. He loved you too, damn it, he was doing this because he loved you so damn much and didn't want you to suffer.
โI can't.โ He forced the words out but wouldn't look you in the eye. โI can't leave you here waiting for me every time I head out. I can't leave you alone, only to get the news that a mission went wrong, or to hear the news of my death.โ
An uncomfortable silence filled the room; the only sound was the rhythm of your breathing.
โLeon, please tell meโฆ tell me what we had wasn't in vain.โ You took a deep breath, trying to control the tears that were streaming down your face. โTell me that you love me, at least, and that nothing we shared was a waste of time.โ
โOf course I love you! And Iโm truly grateful to have you in my life.โ The words were stuck in his throat, but somehow he needed to get them out, or else heโd choke on them. โBut itโs precisely because I love you so much that I donโt want you to suffer.โ
You looked at him in disbelief. โYou donโt want to hurt me, yet thatโs exactly what youโre doing right now.โ Your voice grew quieter as more tears streamed down your face.
โIโd rather you be hurt now than later.โ
โSo, you want to end a relationship thatโs lasted years?โ
Leon didnโt answer; he didnโt need to. His silence was answer enough for both of you. Understanding this, you nodded and rushed into the bedroom, the room you had once shared, feeling like you were about to completely fall apart. Your knees nearly gave way; you slammed the door shut and slid down to the floor, your sobs muffled by the wood.
And Leon was left alone in the living room. In silence. Just staring at the walls, wondering if this had been a good idea.
But for him, it was the only way.
His eyes stung as he thought back on the moments heโd shared with you. He knew this would be painful, especially for you, but he didnโt want your last memory of him to be of your tear-streaked face.
Still, it had to be done. And he would do whatever it took to ensure nothing happened to you. Especially not because of him.
