The Desperate Writer

Me: I love this song. Gabrielle is so jealous though and definitely wants to kill (or fuck) Louis.

My mother: I don’t like the songs. They’re too…

Me: Camp? Gay? Bowie, Queen-

Mom: Too Broadway. He’d never make it in the real world.

I still like Marius. This is a hill I will die on. I like him. A lot. Book version because…where is his hair!? He’s supposed to resemble Lestat! Yes, these small details matter to moi. I would really love a full movie or a few episodes of his backstory. The whole druids and the tree God bit was chilling to read.

And he’s funny! I love his interactions with Lestat. The gentle ribbing and teasing when Lestat, crying and scared as usual, faces stone Akasha. And then having to save Lestat, because of course, when all hell breaks loose. This is followed by a “Lestat, I think you should leave. You’ve literally ruined everything.” It’s all just perfection. I also want the full Anne Rice fantasy. She wrote so many descriptions of what his house (?Fortress?) looked like. In my mind, it was this brightly candle lit multi-room Grecian house filled with plants, birds and frescos on the walls. Like so many plants that it resembled a jungle. Then there was this balcony that he could see the boats and the beach and two high back chairs and more candles where Lestat and Marius would sit and chat. Then there were steps that led to the chamber that kept the king and queen. Multiple doors with wood plank “locks” kept them in and inside the chamber were more candles and shelves of jewellery and other keepsakes that the two enjoyed or that Marius thought they would enjoy.

I love the show. I do. But it’s so hard to get past what my mind has formed vs what I’m seeing. Ya know?

And I did. Which you can tell. Again. Sorry about the essay length. I’m really making my twelfth grade English teacher proud with these write-ups. Onwards! To a review of 3.02 “Toledo” but mainly, again, a compare and contrast of the book and the love of Lestat and Gabrielle.

I don’t know what to call these. Recaps? Reviews? Thoughts? Musings? Essays? Rants? Either way I’m going to ramble and you’re going to like it.

“Do you guys play baseball like the vampires in Twilight?” Tough Cookie (TC) asks. Lestat never answers the question. He doesn’t really answer any questions that are shouted at him while he has a band meeting on his tour bus. Humans, his fellow rockers, have seen him kill and fly out a window (such a stupid move by our favorite inebriated diva) and now he has to try to stop his little secret from getting out. How? Threats of course! If not from lawyer Christine, then by him. I don’t really know why he felt the need to threaten at all though. Sure Alex says he will go squeal to the cops but what cop would believe a guy saying Lestat is an actual vampire? Humans are dumb and very black and white. This has been brought up before in past seasons. It would take a leap of imagination to actually believe Alex and I highly, highly doubt that leap would be made by the police. Anyways!  Salamander. What a delight. I love him. He’s so chuffed by what’s unfolding and he’s absolutely on the Lestat-is-a-sex-god-vampire train. He’s fangirling out! And so am I. Mainly because we’re getting into the swing of things and old friends/characters are appearing.

Before we go forward though, we must go back. Lestat’s childhood and the lead up to the big showdown with the wolves. Now I must admit, as a big fan of the book, I expected more. So much more. I understand why we couldn’t get the book version of events. It would have been too FX heavy and too long. But we skip over some important things like why Lestat fell in love with the theatre. Instead of showing us his fling with the travelling troupe (and his first sexual encounter and his brothers finding him and dragging him back home), we get a few sentences about it shouted by his father over the dinner table. We’re also not shown Lestat’s brothers bringing him back from the monastery. I think that does a bit of a disservice to story. Lestat’s character is always “free but only for a short time”. He, as a boy anyways, was a caged bird that was drowning in his own anxieties and environment. But we haven’t been shown that. Yet anyways. Then there’s the wolves. Again, I get why they had to change it but…what’s up with using the dog as bait? Lestat loved his dogs. They were his friends. He raised them from pups and they slept on his bed to keep him warm at night. That’s why the attack was so brutal to read. Lestat can’t save them and he has to put his horse out of its misery. It’s heavy and bloody and leaves Lestat basically catatonic.

Instead of we a dog squeal and Lestat aiming his weapon at a leaping wolf. Not even a mention of how he got his rifle. Strange. His mother gave it him, in case you didn’t know already. Read into that what you will. Freud and all that, as Lestat narrated at the top of the episode.

Back to the show. His mother waxes lyrically about how she dreams of taking a man, any man (or boy) into bed. She says this while putting ointment on Lestat’s wounds. Suggestively. As “off” as this is, it tracks. She is incredibly repressed. Just like Lestat. And she is abused by the father and her sons. Just like Lestat is. She is to be seen and not heard and so help her if she’s heard. So when she dares to joke with Lestat, as a young teenager, at the dinner table, she is shouted down. Lestat tries to defend her but gets himself into trouble and she goes back to being quiet and reading. They’ve both learned a very toxic lesson. Stay in line. At least when others are around. So when they’re not around and they are alone…things happen.

Gabrielle once refers to Lestat as her “phallus”. Not in the show (yet). You’ll just have to trust me that she does. She does it not in the way you’re turning your nose up now as. She means he’s an extension and, in ways, something more powerful. He is her if she wasn’t seen as a “lady”. He could have the world at fingertips if only he wasn’t stuck where he is. This leads into…

Gabrielle telling Lestat that she’s dying. Because of course she is. She’s had a bunny clutch of children and lives in squalor (the show does a poor job of showing that Lestat and his family weren’t well off. Gabrielle had the jewels but that’s about it. The home is and was always in ruins. Hence the dogs being using as a blanket. No I won’t let that go!). Lestat does not take the news well. They fast forward in the show to show how he made her but that not the order events happen so I won’t comment or whine about what was missed. Yet. Not until Magnus makes Lestat and then Lestat goes back to his mother. I hope, hope they get that bit “right” or not rush through it. It’s a real mother/son reunion that brings up a lot of emotions. Considering she was the one who funded Lestat’s trip to Paris with Nicki which leads to Lestat being made by Magnus. Sorry, sorry. No more spoilers. I will however spoil the crap out of this because it’s not the show. Lestat’s brothers are not killed. And his father actually survives. The brothers go about their merry, hopefully short, lives and Lestat’s father goes to New Orleans. The father bit happens in Interview With The Vampire book. Lestat goes to his father, who is blind and dying. He provides for him but wants nothing to do with him. Because who would? The man was a nasty piece of work. But Louis! Freakin’ Louis. Makes Lestat listen and accept to his father’s dying words of apology. It’s awful. I hate that bit so much. 

Anyways!

Other than the flashbacks, we get Louis! Or Mr. Pitt. Ha, get it? Because Brad Pitt played Louis in the original movie? Get it? Turns out, he owns the damn hotel Lestat unveiled himself at and trashed the hallway of. Cue the legal back and forth. Lestat being Lestat though, Christine has to lure him to sit down in a meeting. So she tells him a fan wants to meet him and yes, sex is on the table. I honestly just feel bad for Christine. I’m sure Lestat is thrilled to see Louis at the meeting but he sure doesn’t act like it. He crashed out. Hard and very much on brand. He does have a right to crash out though. Remember the copy of the book he’s been highlighting and correcting. He throws it in Louis’s face this episode. We don’t know who told the tales we were told in Interview. Was it Louis or was it Daniel? Louis confronts Daniel near the end of the episode and we get a kind of answer. Daniel embellished. Sadly he embellished Claudia’s story. The train. Was Lestat even there when she tried to run? Judging from the look on his face when his mother says that she understands why “he would take her (Claudia) back”, I’d say no. He is his mother, not his father. He wouldn’t cage a bird. 

I will leave it here. There’s a huge spoiler ending to the episode and it’s a true treat for the fans. Score us who had hoped this moment would come!

(I do realize I haven’t written about Gabrielle’s presence in modern times. Basically it boils down to the past can’t really remain in the past no matter how hard they try, being entwined and all and to be kind to delivery robots. They’re just trying to deliver snacks! Leave ‘em alone Also spaghetti flavored blood. A girl’s gotta eat!) 

This is the one moment that really caught me off guard. I mean, I read the book. I knew what to expect (at least in its tone). But. But. I didn’t expect the absolute crushing moment of his stutter returning after his mother walks in the room. Imagine being this old with all the power and all this worldly knowledge and your mother can still fuck you up. Yes, he loves her but that love hasn’t matured. He’s still that little boy in France that was beaten down by everyone in his family and latched onto his mum because she was the least cruel. She was still cruel. Don’t get that wrong. I always interpreted her as this woman who was so tired of her husband and his leeching off of her and her sons that were becoming more like their father (and tired of the dresses!) she just shut down. But in shutting down, she tossed Lestat aside. And he would have given her the world to get just a bit of attention from her. And he did that later on. But she wanted more. He wanted her forever. Just her and him. And now that she was free from her terrible life, she wanted to run and explore. So she did. She literally just ditches him suddenly at the end of a chapter and travels to like the jungle and Egypt to explore. And Lestat is alone in a cruel world but he doesn’t have a mum to run to. So he latches on to people/vampires. He begs for love. He wants to give them the world in hopes they stay with him forever. Same cycle over and over.

Let us begin. Recap. Well you already know what happened in the last two seasons don’t ya?! If not, catch up! We’ll wait. In the meantime…yay! 

Getting True Blood vibes from the opening. Armand! Aw. Louis! Aw. And Lestat goes full Banksy. Of course. Of course!

He really oozes sex, does he? Lestat I mean. 

Crotch shot. Nice.

Christine. Poor Christine. Pour one out for Christine.

Sam with pin straight hair and a turtle neck? No. Ew no. Fuck no.

“Rey-dit”

Daniel! Aw.

“Moi”/“Toi”

….oh that’s what that look was about! Aw. Touchy subject, Daniel.

Agreed, Lululemon isn’t sexy and locking up baby formula is a crime. Who knew Lestat was so in touch with modern world?

Didn’t the Jellyroll and Post Malone face tattoo tour get cancelled?

Woo! Quebecois! NO THANK YOU! Crash-out begins in 3….2…1…

Baby Armand, baby Claudia….aw.

Bauhaus would argue that one, my friend.

lol. Vampons.

He’s so dramatic. Jesus.

Daniel’s raised hand. Ha. I mean…same.

Don’t mix uppers and downers, kids. Just don’t do it! It’s all fun and games until it’s not and then it’s too late. There’s no floating on the ceiling. If you’re lucky, you wake up in the hospital wondering what the hell happened.

This isn’t my Mojo.

This isn’t my Baby Jenks either. The ceiling bit, sure. But she was a biker! Sorry. Maybe she’ll come back “in character” later on.

I knew it! The scars were always there! Fan theory confirmed. 

Don’t use the phone while peeing, guys. Please. That’s weird. And ew.

Are there really TVs in the boy’s washroom?

Poor Lestat. He really needs to cool it with the drug blood.

The 4th best thing.

Wait. Pause. This is all very…Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Like in format. The time jumping back and forth, the voiceover that is both self deprecating but still smug. It’s faster, obviously, but the notes are definitely there. Do feel it? No? Just me? Anyways, resume.

“I’m in charge of my work life balance.”

Okay Fang Gang. Jesus.

OMG! It happened! Holy shit! The DJ!

It’s his mother, isn’t it? Come to rescue her son.

….yes it is. 

All in all, it felt…different. Goofier. But the book was different too. So I won’t hold that it against it. It did feel rushed though and scattered. It might feel that way though because IWTV was very linear and slow. They had two seasons to stretch a book and we were following Louis and who was around Louis. Not so much this time around. We have a lot of characters to check in with and only so many episodes to do everything in.

I will say though, I’m putting my foot down with Mojo. I want the puppy! I hope we get a glimpse of the actual Mojo. Or at least a mention of him. He’s not a car!

It’s nice we got confirmation that the scars were always there and that they were either written out of IWTV or Louis just stopped seeing them because they were part of Lestat and Lestat was perfect (physically) in his eyes.

Seriously though, did any fans get into the concert? I’ve only seen pictures and video from influencers and media. There’s reports of merch on eBay and people walking out after the screening and not staying for the concert =(

I am salty I wasn’t picked. I really was prepared to fly from the west coast of Canada. I’ve done it before for events and boy, I’d was so ready to do it again. But I’m also salty for the other fans that were constantly checking their inboxes for an email from the ticket people. I understand like hundreds of “us” wanted those ticked but it sucks that influencers got in and “we” were passed up.

”The Hunger” by The Distillers is so Lestat coded. I’m sobbing. Well my inner fangirl is sobbing. If she had it her way, there would be a perfectly timed YouTube slideshow being built right about now. (Go listen. It’s a great song)