Nekumas stuff

How do you find yourself after you lost yourself years and years ago? How do you choose the path to take when none of the options feel healthy? How do you ask someone for help when the words stay stuck in your throat? How do you move forward when fear freezes every muscle in your body? How do you stay functional when staying functional is one of the core reasons you feel like you're going insane? How do you figure out your emotions when they're locked away in a place far far away and you don't know how to find it? How can anyone help you if you can't show them how broken you are? How do you get your life together if you can barely get up in the morning? How can you keep standing when you feel like the ground crumbles away under your feet? How can I figure out how to change my life when everything I think just makes me feel sick, tired and afraid?