enemies&&adversaries

nolan: sure bro, i can just give you a couple hundred bucks whenever you feel sad or depressed or pissed w/o any strings attached

nolan: you can drop by tomorrow morning once cam is gone and come collect an early christmas present lmao i'll give you whatever cash i've got left in my wallet

nolan: maybe you guys should, idk, talk it out face to face ??

nolan: but DONT square up with him i know you fam and i know youre probably gonna wanna deck him

neil: THATS the type of support im looking for in a friendship i knew there was a reason i always took up for ur ass

neil: if i look him in his face im punching him and then his nose would break and im not tryna be suspended

nolan: i'm not showing him these texts you're gonna scare him off and then i'll die from blue balls and then i'll haunt your ass for the rest of your life rip neil

nolan: tbh if anything i'm gonna wind up being someone else's sugar daddy i just have too much money to waste on myself it's just gonna sit in my bank account lonely af

nolan: okay now ur confusing me. what DID you really want?

neil: i could think of worse lifetimes

neil: u wanna be my platonic sugar daddy?? u think those exist??

nolan: i s2g you're gonna get me in trouble he's right next to me and if he sees these texts he's going to assume you're serious and flee for his life

nolan: my money and good looks are why i'm set for life xoxo

nolan: oh so you basically wanted to be friends with benefits right? like you wanna fuck w/ him but also have heart to heart convos w/ him occasionally, yeah?

nolan: bro why didnt you just tell him that im ??

neil: if ur reading this im serious

neil: sugar daddy sugar daddy sugar daddy

neil: uh yeah sure

nolan: cameron literally did nothing to you jfc pls dont try to square up with him i dont even know if hes capable of defending himself yet

nolan: um i dont know about plato's symposium fam i'm not as smart or philosophical as you i'm a dumbass ??

nolan: wait so you really have feelings for nico ??

nolan: like this isnt me taking his side or anything, but did you ever get to telling him you kinda wanted to be more than just fuckbuddies ?? like you probably should have warned him ahead of time so he wasnt out eyeing other people up

neil: i will eat him. like a spider eats other spiders. i will EAT him and he will be done

neil: ur lucky ur rich and pretty honey

neil: okay NO i dont have feelings im an empty black hole

neil: i just liked him. like u know? i wasnt tryna have his damn babies, i just thought he was cool. i wasnt tryna marry his dumb ass, just tryna like... be cool

nolan: 1. he's not a fetus jfc he's legal and that's all that matters, 2. i'm only mentioning this to let u know i wouldn't go after your guy and your guy wouldn't go after me

nolan: bro listen like

nolan: it's okay if you start out with sex and try to get something more than that later on. isn't that how most people get together nowadays ?? fucking always leads to relationships and shit.

nolan: like, did he try to go for more sex tonight? was that the problem? or did you get upset because he was eyeing other people?

neil: i literally hate him i dont even know who he fucking is because i do not fuck with pledges but i hate him so fuck off with that noise

neil: all of the above

neil: like lmao it's stupid but u kno origin of love and shit like

Kenzie: fam i'm a good child who is a law student !!!!

Kenzie: ugh fine gimme 20 minutes

Neil: and im a poet like ur lucky im not offering you fuckin meth fam

nolan: nah, that was just friendly banter. everyone knows i got my eyes on cameron, bro. he wouldn't have tried anything seriously w/ me.

nolan: seriously tho how come it got all fucked up?

neil: yeah ima ask you again to stop fucking mentioning that you're shacked up with some goddamn fetus

nolan: would this happen to have anything to do w/ nico being moody af?

nolan: i thought you guys were having fun, what happened?

neil: u tell me, he was hitting u up on twitter hard enough lmao

neil: it's like u know we got along p well before i asked him to formal so i thought like

nolan: correction: WHO i'm probably doing ;)

nolan: lmao jk he's resting right now and getting ready for round three

nolan: why you sad tho bro ??

neil: could u actually shut the fuck up about that lmao last thing im tryna hear

nolan: do you honestly think i'm asleep right now ??

nolan: whats up fam

neil: tbh i dont wanna think about what ur probably doing rn ok

Aiden: pls b safe & dont kill anyone

Neil: u better hope i dont. ur ass is on my list

Aiden: yikes no bc that isn't true. who said that??

Aiden: also no bad idea dont no nada zero no nope nah do not no

Neil: :~)

neil: nolan nolan nolan nolan

Aiden: oh ok yikes what happened

Aiden: or do u not want to talk about it

Neil: did u kno that i am unlovable and also too much of a whore and APPARENTLY not that pretty lmao