I have no idea what I'm doing

The axe forgets, the tree remembers.

you’ve got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you’re wrong, but on the other hand, saying “you clearly didn’t read twilight” doesn’t exactly make you look like the bad guy here

its crazy how some names last forever and some dont. we had marcus antonius and guys today are still named mark or anthony. we had ten million english kings named charles or james or william and we still have those. hannibal was a carthaginian general and it couldve last longer as a name if it wasnt for hannibal the cannibal. but no guys are named gaius or octavius anymore. so many names are now considered old people names bc theyre not popular anymore. how do names go out of style or last so long like what the hell

TRANS MEN ! we need more gaius pompieus octavius titus magnus sextus the younger

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

If a Muppet ran for office, I would vote for them in a heartbeat. I'm not even joking. Yeah, so I'm actually voting for their puppeteer, and the puppeteer's name is the one on the ballot, but that's honestly not any worse than people voting for Ronald Reagan because he was an actor they recognized. And the Muppets in particular have been very vocally left-wing since Jim Henson made them. And I trust that Eric Jacobson (Miss Piggy's current puppeteer, after Frank Oz retired) would know when it was important to be a human and when it was okay to be in-character.

ok how are you people putting commas in your tags

...How did it ever occur to someone that this was edible?...

I mean, I'm guessing some variation of "hey that tree I used as firewood sure had some good smelling smoke and made the food we cooked over it better, I wonder what else we could do with it . . . "

I mean. There’s foods out there that if you don’t cook them exactly right they will kill you. Humans have been trying absolutely everything to see what they can eat.

Humans are one of the most accomplished omnivores on the planet.

That little girl is going places

I know more about economics than AOC and my knowledge on economics is on a high school level. Its actually embarassing how little she knows about this shit. But hey, expecting a socialist to know about economics is like expecting a fish to know what a desert is.

Also, can we talk about how taxes are used to pay for things for the benefit of society - roads, schools, libraries etc. so to further the above example, the parents aren’t just pocketing that money themselves just to be mean and selfish, they might use it to pay for a Netflix subscription that the whole family can watch.

PROGRESSIVE TAX ISNT FUCKING RADICAL we study it in highschool economics class for fucks sake

like ideologically I disagree with capitalism but I do love shopping. I'm a shopper. I take my little coins and I get treats in return.

Redeemed villain who can’t let the speech pattern go

Megamind

she tower on my babel till I ἐπιούσιον

#ἐπιούσιον is a word that’s only ever used in the Lord’s prayer#with extreme controversy surrounding its translation#i suspect the joke here is that this post forces the reader to do a bunch of linguistic research#only to not come up with a conclusive answer#mimicking the experiences of those who built the tower of babel#this has been another installment of overexplaining jokes until theyre not funny anymore with autistics via @exbeekeeper​

ok but you just saved my ass 30 minutes of research by explaining the joke and now i can laugh at it sooner you didn't make it not funny you made it funny faster

Bro wake up 116 new genders just dropped

I don’t understand how on TV, people can break into homes and immediately find bank statements, passports and super important documents. If someone tried that at my place it would be “I’m sure she keeps her important stuff in her desk. No, wait, this draw is full of pens that don’t work. Aha! This box looks important! Oh, never mind. It’s full of cigarette lighters. She doesn’t even smoke!”

*I* can’t even find my own important documents in my own home half the time. If someone breaks in and instantly finds my stuff they’re hired

Robber, standing in the middle of the room: Now, if I were an anxious, possibly undiagnosed ADHD, bisexual disaster with a really bad memory, where would I put the documents?