“So, I’m pretty sure that drink I just had was drugged.” A nervous little laugh escaped Akumo. “If you have some time to spare, do you think you could, I don’t know, um...h-help me out a bit?”
Cosmic Funnies
RMH
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around

shark vs the universe
Mike Driver

Love Begins
Keni
🪼
almost home

if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium
seen from United States
seen from Australia

seen from United States

seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Netherlands
seen from China

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Spain

seen from New Zealand
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from South Korea

seen from United States
@necxdominus
“So, I’m pretty sure that drink I just had was drugged.” A nervous little laugh escaped Akumo. “If you have some time to spare, do you think you could, I don’t know, um...h-help me out a bit?”

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NSFW things to say to submissive muses
“I want you on your knees.”
“You look so good. I could just eat you up.”
“Don’t cover your face. You’re so pretty when you blush.”
“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? I know you can be louder than that.”
“I think… you deserve a treat.”
“Do you want to see the new toys I bought for you?”
“Have you ever thought about wearing a collar… with my name on it?”
“If you don’t behave, I’ll have to spank you.”
“You need to learn patience. Be good and I’ll give you what you want later.”
“Have you been a good boy/girl today?”
“You’re beautiful with my marks all over you.”
“I want you on top of me tonight.”
“What was that? Did I just hear a whimper?”
“Use your words ~ what do you want from me?”
“Are you being a brat again?”
“Do you *want* me to punish you?”
“Good boys/girls get special treatment.”
“Bad boys/girls don’t get what they want.”
“I wanna hear you. Scream it again.”
“Why are you biting your pillow? Don’t want me to hear you?”
“Shhhh. You don’t want us to get caught, do you?”
“Make sure you wear that dress/suit/outfit I bought you.”
“Be on your best behavior and I’ll let you pick what you get tonight.”
“Do you want puppy ears or kitty ears? I have matching tails to go with them.”
“Tell me if it’s too hard.”
“This isn’t too much, is it?”
“I want to treat you like a prince/princess.”
“Lie back and let me take care of you, honey/love/sweetheart/etc.”
“If you want my tongue/cock/pussy/ass/etc, you’re going to have to beg for it.”
Tentacle Tuesday!
My muse is trapped in a tentacle pit that your muse controls. What does your muse do to mine while they are trapped?
A/B/O starters (send one for my muse’s reaction)
1- : “Why are you resisting your nature?” 2- : “I can smell it! You’re in heat.” 3- : “I can’t wait to see your/my belly swell with our perfect babies.” 4- : “Fuck! I can feel it/them moving in there.” 5- : “You’re feverish, so stop being stubborn and go lay in the nest.” 6- : “Are those suppressant pills!?” 7- : “Put the glass down. You are pregnant with my kids and I’m not going to let you self-destruct because you can’t cope with _______ ” (ex: your nature) 8- : “Look at your neck. Look at the marks I left. You are mine. And solely mine.” 9- : “Come, I’ll give you a bath to wash the dry slick away.” 10- : “What does my omega want for breakfast/lunch/dinner?” 11- : “You, the alpha, are cooking for me?” 12- : “Why do I even bother when all you do is use your pheromones to push me into rut?” 13- : “I don’t want you to knot me.” 14- : “We are bonded but not married, and your parents are old fashioned. If they find out…” 15- : “Fucking knot me already!” 16- : “I-I can’t stay when you’re… like this…” (heat) 17- : “Your smell is… intoxicating. If I stay I’m going to knot you.” 18- : “If you don’t want me to breed you, lock yourself in your bedroom. I’m taking the couch.” 19- : “Resisting your/my nature is only going to make it worse.” 20- : “Fuck! You stink of beta pheromones. You could have gone more subtle.” 21- : [ Public place ] “Stay calm. I might have just started my heat.” 22- : “Your cycle is fucked up because of all those suppressants you took.” 23- : “You’re too weak to make a nest.” 24- : “I can’t understand you alphas and omegas, smelling each other like you were meat.” 25- : “Do you really think all omegas want to be fucked by you? Sorry to break it to you, but you can fuck off.” 26- : “You don’t smell it? I’m surrounding myself with betas from now on.” 27- : “You know, I always kind of envied omegas.” 28- : “I-I want… N-no need… I… fuck… I-I’m confused.” 29- : “Your bloodline is not pure. I can’t be bonded to you.” 30- : “Alphas/omegas like you are a disgrace to your nature.” 31-: “I thought you were on suppressants?” 32-: “I don’t know why people don’t like betas. I think you’re amazing.” 33-: “Do you think I’m/you’re pregnant yet?” 34-: “You can’t help me, as much as I want you to.” 35-: “I’m bonded to someone.” 36-: “I wish you could claim me.” 37-: “Can you fuck me and not claim me?” 38-: “I don’t need you. I can do this alone.” 39-: “I’ve gone a long time without an alpha.” 40-: “It’s been a while since I’ve fucked an omega.” 41-: “I need you to claim me as your omega.” 42-: “I never thought I wanted a mate until I met you." 43-: "I will only claim you as my omega if you love me.” 44-: “You want me to claim you, don’t you?” 45-: “Please, protect me while I’m in heat. I’m not ready to be claimed.” 46-: “I’m afraid of being claimed by an alpha.” 47-: “I don’t want to be claimed by anyone but you.” 48-: “I didn’t know I was an omega until I went into heat around you.” 49-: “Please, tie me down so I don’t do anything I’ll regret while I’m in heat.” 50-: “I don’t care if you’re also an alpha, I want to claim you.” 51-: “I’m the Alpha, you’re the Omega, I give the orders and you follow them.” 52-: “You’re my Omega, and mine alone.” 53-: “As an Alpha, I have the right to claim you, the Omega, and you know that, don’t you?” 54-: “I gotta say, you have a really, really strong scent, even for an Omega.” 55-: “Are you in heat or something? I didn’t even know you were an Omega…” 56-: “Sorry, it was just a question, didn’t mean to upset you!” 57-: “Dude, calm the fuck down. Are all Omegas this easily scared?” 58-: “Woah, so you can get pregnant by an Alpha, even though you’re like, a dude?” 59-: “Y'know, I am an Alpha, I could help you with your heat, if you want me too…” 60-: “Be a good Omega and bend over.” 61-: “You know as an Alpha I can smell that you’re ____, so you might as well tell me what wrong with you.” 62-: “A group of alphas tried to follow me home today.” 63-: “Y'know, nobody is going to know I’m your omega if you don’t mark me as yours.” 64-: “The suppressants haven’t kicked in yet.” 65-: “Do you really think this thing will keep other alphas off of me?” (ex. a collar) 66-: “Can a body grow immune to suppressants?” 67-: “You know, part of me dreads the idea that any child I bare may be an omega and have to grow up in this world while being seen as nothing more than a couple of holes to fuck.” 68-: “Everything is so fucking hot. Why can’t alphas go into heat instead of omegas?” 69-: “Just because of what I am doesn’t mean I’ll submit to just any alpha” 70-: “I got into some trouble today. I sort of punched an Alpha in the face when he touched me. Long story short, there’s a couple of officers at the door who would like to talk to you about getting control of your omega.” 71-: “I’d kill to be a beta right now.” 72-: “I don’t want an alpha.” 73-: “I don’t want an omega.” 74-: “Do you see me at all? Or am I just a couple of holes to fuck?” 75-: “If you didn’t want me, why did you bring me here?”
cold weather sentence starters
the air is chilly, but the fluff is warm
“It’s hand holding season.”
“I got the biggest blanket for us to share.”
“Get outside– you can see your breath in the air!”
“Your cheeks are so red; it’s so cute!”
“I’m not letting you forget an umbrella ever again.”
“My mom made soup and sent some for me to give to you.”
“I got us matching fuzzy socks.”
“This scarf isn’t big enough for two people.”
“If your hands get cold, you can put them in my pockets.”
“Maybe if I kiss you, you’ll feel warmer.”
“I don’t care if it’s freezing, I want to walk through the park!”
“I made hot chocolate.”
“Hug me; I’m cold and love you.”
“Your coat makes you look like a penguin.”
“Are you really walking in public wrapped in a blanket?”
“My bunny slippers are too cool for you.”
“These roses cost extra because of the season– I hope you’ll give me extra kisses as thanks.”
“Are you cold? Let’s cuddle, it’ll make you warmer.”
“What time is it? Don’t answer, it’s Christmas.”
“If it snows, wake me up.”
“I thought it would get warm in the day, but I was wrong.”
“You stole another of my hoodies, didn’t you?”
“Christmas songs this early?”
“Please stay warm; I don’t want you to get sick.”
“I refuse to let you go– I’m cold.”
“It’s icy outside– also, can you help me limp to the couch?”
“I don’t need mistletoe to kiss you.”
“I’m glad I get to spend this season with you.”
“You’re my designated cuddle-buddy tonight so stay close.”
“Pajamas and movies sounds really nice.”
“Your favorite winter drink was back on the menu, so I got it for you.”
“Can we take holiday card pictures together?”
“Your cheeks are rosy and cute.”
“Are you shivering?”
“I ran you a bath since it’s freezing outside.”
“Stay in bed with me, it’s warmer here.”
“I don’t understand how you love this kind of weather so much.”
“I know you’re excited about the snow, but please put on better shoes than slippers!”
“The cookies and I are the only things hot this season.”
“I bought you a beanie! Isn’t the pompom cute?”
“Are you blushing or cold?”
“Oh, darn, I seem to have forgotten my mittens– please warm my hands?”
“Is it too early for Santa hats?”
“I don’t think cold weather is an excuse to drink ten times more coffee.”
“Well, you can never have too much hot chocolate.”
“I’m gonna stay up and wait for it to snow.”
“Being with you makes the season even better.”
“Since it’s cold should I start calling you ‘snow angel’?”
“Matching hoodies!”
“Are you going to share this coat with me all night?”
send a sentence and a name!

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🚪
Send me 🚪 ( or ‘door’ ) and I’ll generate a number for my muse to show up on your muse’s doorstep
23. covered in tiny scrapes and cuts
“Uh, so…” Akumo hesitated, averting his gaze and selfconsciously carding a hand through his hair. His fingers got stuck in one of many knots and he grimaced as he proceeded to pull a twig free from the messy red strands and flicking it to the ground, a look of embarrassment on his face.
There were smudges of dirt on his face. He’d scraped his palms and there were small cuts and bruises and a plethora of other scrapes littered across the skin that weren’t covered by his clothes ( and even then Akumo could feel the familiar ache of more bruises appearing beneath the not-so-protective fabric ).
It wasn’t that bad, though. No, the worst part was the embarrassment of how he’d gotten like this, but he’d keep that story to his grave. No way in hell was he letting Theo know what had happened.
“…You got a first aid-kit I could borrow?”
Send me 🚪 ( or ‘door’ ) and I’ll generate a number for my muse to show up on your muse’s doorstep ( a mix of angst, silliness, and fluff ) …
crying
starving
possessed
sopping wet
blackout drunk
holding a baby
after a car crash
looking for a fight
covered in bruises
after being mugged
covered with confetti
severely dehydrated
angry beyond reason
with a broken arm/leg
covered in blood (theirs)
after having a nightmare
after being missing for days
after the death of a loved one
covered in baking ingredients
about to faint from exhaustion
with a real crown on their head
on their knee, with ring in hand
covered in tiny scrapes and cuts
covered in blood ( someone else’s )
holding a baby animal ( sender’s choice )
moonxsuncelestials:
necxdominus:
He’d been about to protest, worried that his weight might aggravate any injuries the dragon might have sustained during his capture, but the words died on his tongue the moment he saw the look in those blue eyes. A shiver raced down his spine, a tinge of fear squeezing at his heart, but he swallowed it down quickly enough.
Of course the guy was pissed off. He had every right to be, after all.
Grabbing his bag from where he’d thrown it in a corner a few minutes earlier, he slung it over his shoulders and, after a moment’s hesitation, did as Yun had commanded. Every movement was careful and as gentle as he could manage as he climbed onto the dragon’s back.
“Don’t push yourself. You’re hurt and it’s not worth killing them if it means you might end up captured again. Let’s get out of here and get you treated first. Please?”
Though he did appreciate the other’s movements, being careful and gentle as he could be, Yun still wanted revenge for this. Thus he carefully walked out of the cage before letting out the mightiest of roars from his small body. He may only be the size of a lion but his power was nothing to sneeze at.
Howling icy winds engulfed the camp as snow and ice formed along the grounds and he then shot a blast of white light into the direction of the head hunter.
There would be nothing left of the man who had sneered at him.
Only when he was satisfied that the hunters wouldn’t be able to give chase did Yun make a run for it. Fast and quick, he soon took flight thanks to running uphill on a fallen log. Into the storm clouds, he flew using his tail to act as a rodder while he searched for a place where no hunter could find him again.
Upon an hour or so later, he was landing very close to a clearing that led to the heart of the forest. From there, he took human form, with the only telltale sign of him even being of draconic birth, was his eyes. “Hurry…I won’t be able to hold…fuck, this form for long.”
His legs were shaky as he tumbled from the dragon’s back, only barely able to stay standing on his feet. Gods, he had no idea for how long or how far they’d been flying, but it felt like it had been a lifetime. He was cold, freezing, dizzy, and nauseous, and his breathing was coming faster than normal as he tried to adjust to the low altitude and air again. It was nothing a fire and some rest couldn’t fix, but damn he felt awful. He’d never take the ground for granted again.
( The view had been pretty, though )
“G...give me a...m-minute, please...” Akumo gasped, hands on his knees and hunched over as he tried to catch his breath. “Damn...y-you’re really something, huh?”
A breathless little laugh left the redhead and he finally raised his head to look at the now human looking dragon. He looked different ( of course he did ) but the aura surrounding him, the icy blue of his eyes, still held that grace and power from before and it was beautiful. He was beautiful.
“How are you feeling?” Able to breathe a little easier now, Akumo started rummaging through his bag, searching for anti-septic, ointment, and gauze. “Flying in your condition must’ve done a number on you. Where are you hurt?”
moonxsuncelestials:
necxdominus:
@moonxsuncelestials | Cont. from X
He hadn’t expected the telepathy and it made him flinch, his knife slipping against the rope. There was no harm done, though, not to him or the dragon ( besides the scars already littering the other male’s skin, Akumo frowned ) and he turned his focus back on cutting the bound dragon loose.
“Almost done,” the redhead murmured, gaze nervously flickering in the direction of the room where the group of hunters were sleeping. If they noticed, if they caught them, there would be hell to pay for them both. “Just…one more… There…!” Relief and pride flashed across Akumo’s face the moment his knife cut through the last rope, letting it fall almost innocently to the ground. “How are you feeling? I’ve got an emergency first aid kit in my bag and some cream for the rope burns, but we need to get out of here before I can do anything else for you. Can you stand?”
Once that last rope was cut, Yun stood to his full height…which wasn’t that impressive. But he was up, pissed off and ready to kill the hunters who had dared to trap him. Dragons were getting rarer because of these idiots hunting them, thinking that the only good dragon was a dead one.
Well, they picked the wrong dragon to tango with tonight. Get on my back. he ordered Akumo as he looked at him. Those ice-blue eyes that appeared to be a cat’s spoke of the undying rage the male dragon carried right now. He now owed his life to the other, thus he would take him to his hoard. As far as Yun knew, humans killed anyone who was sympathetic towards those who were of draconic blood. Thus why it was probably best to keep the other male with him until he figured out what to do.
He’d been about to protest, worried that his weight might aggravate any injuries the dragon might have sustained during his capture, but the words died on his tongue the moment he saw the look in those blue eyes. A shiver raced down his spine, a tinge of fear squeezing at his heart, but he swallowed it down quickly enough.
Of course the guy was pissed off. He had every right to be, after all.
Grabbing his bag from where he’d thrown it in a corner a few minutes earlier, he slung it over his shoulders and, after a moment’s hesitation, did as Yun had commanded. Every movement was careful and as gentle as he could manage as he climbed onto the dragon’s back.
“Don’t push yourself. You’re hurt and it’s not worth killing them if it means you might end up captured again. Let’s get out of here and get you treated first. Please?”
@moonxsuncelestials | Cont. from X
He hadn’t expected the telepathy and it made him flinch, his knife slipping against the rope. There was no harm done, though, not to him or the dragon ( besides the scars already littering the other male’s skin, Akumo frowned ) and he turned his focus back on cutting the bound dragon loose.
“Almost done,” the redhead murmured, gaze nervously flickering in the direction of the room where the group of hunters were sleeping. If they noticed, if they caught them, there would be hell to pay for them both. “Just...one more... There...!” Relief and pride flashed across Akumo’s face the moment his knife cut through the last rope, letting it fall almost innocently to the ground. “How are you feeling? I’ve got an emergency first aid kit in my bag and some cream for the rope burns, but we need to get out of here before I can do anything else for you. Can you stand?”

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moonxsuncelestials:
necxdominus:
The– the mind-altering what?! After he…n-no, wait, hang on, Hell?!?!
It was all starting to get a little too much for Akumo who was looking somewhere between flustered, mortified, panicked and down right terrified. He stared up at Jade, eyes wide and utterly confused, before he proceeded to just…pinch himself.
“Ouch.”
…Well. Shit. So, this wasn’t a weird-as-fuck nightmare then.
“W-wait, hang on, this…” The redhead swallowed and, running a faintly trembling hand through his hair, glancing around nervously. “This is a little too much to…to process? I’m…I’m in Hell? Does that mean that I’m– that– …a-am I dead…?” Oh gods. No, no, no, please. “I-I’m not, right?” Please tell him he’s not. The mere thought was enough to make his throat go tight with panic, heartbeat quickening and breath coming faster.
Oh gods, he was going to have a panic attack.
Shit.
“Okay, whoa take a deep breath.” Jade instructed as he then started to rub his back. “Exhale slowly. Repeat…you’re safe. You’re not dead, I promise.” He assured Akumo as he tried to help him calm down.
Gods who had forsaken them, sometimes he wondered how badly damaged was his father’s mind on some days.
Finding one of the many alcoves that he tended to use as a hiding place, he guided the redhead over there. Once seated, he still held onto the other, rubbing his back and assuring him that he’s not dead. “Creatures, such as Papa and myself, can live here without having died first.”
Only when Akumo was breathing normally again and had calmed down, did Jade explain a bit more. Though he first apologized for his father again.
“May I know your name? I promise I’m not going to do anything weird, or use it in a spell. I just want to know so that I’m not being rude.”
It took him a while to get his breathing back under control and he couldn’t quite stop trembling, but focusing on Jade’s voice and the touch of his hand against his back helped to calm Akumo down, soothing the frightened redhead.
He’d been through a lot of weird things in his life, but this was definitely taking the cake.
At least Jade was kind and gentle ( so far, a quiet voice in the back of his mind reminded him ) and seemed regretful enough of his father’s actions that Akumo decided he could trust him. For now, at the very least. It’s not like he had anyone else here in Hell.
Gods.
“It’s...” The redhead swallowed, another shiver rippling through his frame, making him unconsciously lean against Jade, pressing back against the hand on his back. “It’s Akumo. And you’re Jadey--” He paused, golden eyes flickering upwards, lips tugging into a small, apologetic smile. “I mean, Jade, right? Your, um, father kept mentioning you when he...uh, kidnapped me...? Which is-- not fine, b-but I’m okay now, no panicking anymore, so it’s... Ugh. Sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous.”
NSFW things to say to submissive muses
“I want you on your knees.”
“You look so good. I could just eat you up.”
“Don’t cover your face. You’re so pretty when you blush.”
“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? I know you can be louder than that.”
“I think… you deserve a treat.”
“Do you want to see the new toys I bought for you?”
“Have you ever thought about wearing a collar… with my name on it?”
“If you don’t behave, I’ll have to spank you.”
“You need to learn patience. Be good and I’ll give you what you want later.”
“Have you been a good boy/girl today?”
“You’re beautiful with my marks all over you.”
“I want you on top of me tonight.”
“What was that? Did I just hear a whimper?”
“Use your words ~ what do you want from me?”
“Are you being a brat again?”
“Do you *want* me to punish you?”
“Good boys/girls get special treatment.”
“Bad boys/girls don’t get what they want.”
“I wanna hear you. Scream it again.”
“Why are you biting your pillow? Don’t want me to hear you?”
“Shhhh. You don’t want us to get caught, do you?”
“Make sure you wear that dress/suit/outfit I bought you.”
“Be on your best behavior and I’ll let you pick what you get tonight.”
“Do you want puppy ears or kitty ears? I have matching tails to go with them.”
“Tell me if it’s too hard.”
“This isn’t too much, is it?”
“I want to treat you like a prince/princess.”
“Lie back and let me take care of you, honey/love/sweetheart/etc.”
“If you want my tongue/cock/pussy/ass/etc, you’re going to have to beg for it.”
Whisper in my muse’s ear ❝ Do you want to feel me inside of you? ❞ for their reaction.
sexual sentences .
a collection of dirty talk sentences.
soft .
“ I want to lick you all over…”
“ You’re so hot…”
“ ~Keep doing that.”
“ There’s no where else I’d rather be than inside of you right now“
“ Keep spreading, baby ~ I’m gonna fill you up so good…”
“ That feels amazing baby “
“ Tell me what you like ~ “
“ Come sit on my lap, love “
“ Mmm… do you like that? “
“ I’m getting so turned on/wet/hard “
“ You look so handsome right now…“
“ What do you feel like doing to me?”
“ You look so gorgeous right now…”
“ I love how you look at me when you’re turned on…”
“ Tell me if it’s too hard…”
“ Mmm… you taste so good baby. ”
“ ~ Tell me when you’re about to come?”
“ I could spend all day between your legs…”
“ I’m getting close —”
“ You’re so damn gorgeous. “
less soft .
“ I love your big hands all over my ass.”
“ ~ Get on your knees for me?”
“ I love your big hands all over my chest.”
“ I love your small hands all over my cock.”
“ You have such a perfect ass/cock/pussy/body/etc.”
“ I love it when you grab the sheets when you’re about to come. “
“ I love how your breath pauses when I put my mouth on your cock.”
“ Cum in my mouth. I want to taste you. ”
“ I love how your breath pauses when I put my mouth on your pussy.”
“ That’s it ~ Good girl/boy…”
“ You sound so sexy when I’m going down on you “
“ I want you to cum for me/on me/in me”
“ You can have me any way you want me baby “
“ Mmm… I can tell that you’re having fun…”
“ Where do you want to cum? ~”
“ Relax… just lie back and let me make you cum. “
“ Where do you want me to cum?”
“ ~ I love the things you do with your tongue.”
“ Strip for me, honey. Slow. I want to savor every inch of you. “
rough .
“ I want you to cum so hard that I feel your cock pulsing inside of me “
“ Get on your knees ~ ?”
“ I love how big your cock gets when I talk to you like this. “
“ Want to make me scream? I’ll bet you can. “
“ I want to fuck you until I feel that sweet little pussy clenching around my cock “
“ Tell me how much you love it when I fuck you/when you fuck me ”
“ I want to fuck you until I feel that sweet little ass clenching around my cock ”
“ Tell me how badly you want me to fuck you…”
“ Mmm… I fucking love it when you ride me like this…“
“… I own this pretty little pussy/big wet cock ~”¨
“ Get over here, big boy. Show me what you’re packing. “
“ I’m going to lick you and suck you until you come. “
“ Ride me harder !”
“ That pretty little face deserves to get fucked ~”
“ I love it when I can feel you squeeze around me “
“ Use your mouth on me. “
“ You like that, don’t you? You like it when your woman does that to you? “
“ I adore how naughty you are. “
“Oh you naughty, naughty boy/girl/woman/man…”
Physical Contact Starters
No explicit NSFW, but some could be interpreted that way. Alter as necessary!
SOFT
“Your hands are so warm.”
“Ah, that feels good…”
“Wait… are you braiding my hair?”
“Is it okay if I lean on you?”
“Just hold me for awhile. Please.”
“You don’t mind me touching you there, right?”
“Oh! I didn’t mean to fall asleep leaning on you.”
“Don’t stop stroking my hair…”
“Be gentle with me.”
“Y’know, I could go for a back rub right now. Just saying.”
“Please… Kiss me, even if it’s just this once.”
“I bet I’m strong enough to pick you up.”
“Can I use your lap as a pillow?”
“Touch me. I don’t care how. I just need to feel something right now…”
“I could kiss you all over.”
“That tickles!”
“Mind washing my back for me?”
“I didn’t know you were the cuddling type.”
“I love how soft your lips are.”
“Don’t get up just yet, I’ll miss having you next to me.”
“No one’s kissed me like that in a long time.”
ROUGH
“Ow! That fucking hurt!”
“Keep talking, and I’ll seriously slap the shit out of you.”
“You stepped on my foot!”
“Did you do that on purpose?”
“Please be more gentle next time…”
“Don’t squeeze so tight!”
“Hey, don’t touch me there. It hurts.”
“Did you just bite me?!”
“Next time I’ll hit you like I mean it.”
“Is that the best you’ve got?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I’ll make you bleed.”
“You really can’t take a hit, can you?”
“Hey!! What was that for?!”
“Shit, are you crying? I didn’t mean to do it that hard.”
“That stung a little. Go easy on me next time.”
“Don’t tell me you can’t handle a little sparring.”
“You almost knocked me over!”
“I won’t stop until I hear you scream.”
“That’s gonna leave a bruise…”
“You broke my nose!”

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Stages of Relationships Starters
Stage 1 — Dating:
“Will you go out with me?”
“What do you say? You and me, that great pizza place downtown, tonight?”
“You look— amazing tonight.”
“Just one date. I promise. You won’t regret it.”
“I had an amazing time tonight. I’d love to do it again, sometime.”
“I know we’ve only just met, but I’d really like to take you out tonight.”
“I promise, I’m usually better at this—”
“This is my favorite restaurant. You’re gonna love it.”
“Wow, you look even better than your online profile.”
“It’s so amazing to finally meet you, in person.”
“Do you— wanna come upstairs/inside?”
“I can walk you home, if you’d like.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d show up. But I’m glad you did.”
“I was starting to think you’d stood me up.”
“Oh, God, my ex is here.”
“So, do I get a goodnight kiss?”
“I’m not great at first impressions, am I?”
“I know we’ve been on two dates this week, already— but how about another?”
“Whoa, that is off-limits until, like, the tenth date!”
“Wait, you’ve really never been on a date before?”
Stage 2 — Love/Intimacy:
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“Please— just kiss me.”
“I don’t want you to go. Stay the night?”
“More, please—”
“Come a little closer— please.“
“Do you think you might be ready— to take the next step?”
“I didn’t know what real happiness was until I met you.”
“I love you more.”
“God, you are so perfect.”
“Stop— you’re making me blush.”
“Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love you more—you do this.”
“Do you love me?”
“I know it’s soon, but I think I’m falling in love with you.”
“I’ve been in love with you for months—I was just too scared to admit it.”
“Just one more kiss—okay, one more—just one mo—”
So—how do you say ‘I love you’ in your mother tongue?”
“I’m sorry— I’m just not ready for sex, yet.”
“My roommate is out of town—why don’t you just stay over?”
“So, I was googling ideas for our date. I found something called Netflix & Chill—I think we should do that.”
“I think we should move-in together.”
Stage 3 — Marriage Proposal:
“_____, will you marry me?”
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I always thought that marriage was just a shame— but with you, I think it’s worth it.”
“Remember that time when (insert significant moment)? It got me thinking.”
“So, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for awhile now.”
“I’ve been carrying this around in my pocket for a month, waiting for the right time. There is no right moment. So, I’m just going to go ahead and ask right now.”
“You make me a better person, and I want that forever.”
“Let’s run away together. Elope. Sounds like an adventure.”
“Dammit, my hands are shaking. Hold on, I’m super nervous.”
“Can we talk about this in private?”
“Why are you kneeling?”
“Is that a—?!”
“I–I don’t know what to say?”
“I thought you didn’t want to get married.”
“I knew there was a reason you were acting funny all day!”
“So, what’s the occasion? You never plan dates this fancy.”
“I know I said I didn’t want to settle down, but—”
“I asked your dad for your hand in marriage. Now, it’s time to ask you.”
“Of course I’ll marry you. Did you think I’d say ‘no’?”
“If this is about the baby— don’t do this. That’s not a good reason to get married.”
Stage 4 — Wedding & Honeymoon:
“I’m so nervous I could throw up. Someone get me a drink!”
“Please, get some sleep. Our big day is tomorrow. It’s gonna be amazing!”
“I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow.”
“Nah, omens are fake. No one believes that stuff. Tomorrow is gonna be perfect.”
“I promise I’m not getting cold feet, I’m just really nervous my ex is going to show up and ruin everything.”
“I do—”
“We’re married! We’re actually married now. I get to call you my husband/wife forever!”
“I know the guests are waiting at the reception—but I need a few minutes alone with my new wife/husband. Come here, you—”
“Do you think we’d get in trouble for skipping our own reception? I can’t wait to get out of here and start our honeymoon!”
“I know it’s supposedly bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding— but how do I look?”
“Pop the champagne! Let’s get this party started!”
“I know this day has been a disaster from the start—but I’ve never been happier, now that you’re mine.”
“I’m gonna cry—”
“I’d like to propose a toast to my bride/groom—”
“Wow—you look stunning!”
“Don’t panic— but I the best man/maid of honor is MIA.”
“This day has been perfect. I hope the rest of our lives together is just as amazing.”
“Last night was amazing. I’m glad we waited until we were married.”
“Let’s just stay in bed all day. Order room service. Maybe have a bubble bath. I have you all to myself, now.”
Stage 5 — Domestic Life:
“The food is not burnt. It’s—slightly toasted.”
“Tampons? You want me to buy you tampons? Me?”
“What do you mean, you lost the keys? This is the third time this week.”
“Change the channel, and I will kill you. I’ve been waiting for this show all day.”
“My underwear are all bright pink, now. Thank you for that.”
“Did you forget to walk the dog? He just made a puddle on the floor.”
“You, me, PJ’s, bed. PJ’s are totally optional, by the way.”
“I know you don’t like my parents, but we have to visit them sometime.”
“How about we never mention this situation again?”
“You should call the doctor about that. Don’t try to macho your way through it.”
“So, I got all the groceries. Except for this last one on the list. Is that an actual word, or did you just scribble something random with your elbow?”
“Did you steal my shirt again?”
“I made dinner. Your favorite.”
“Wait—you want me to wear that? In bed? It doesn’t cover anything!”
“I just bought this dress/shirt/etc at the store today. How do I look?”
“You look tense. You want a massage?”
“I just started a bath. Care to join me?”
“Thank you for taking care of the laundry.”
“Did you pay the bills today? I don’t get paid until tomorrow.”
“I couldn’t sleep either. Want me to make you some tea?”
Stage 6 — Pregnancy & Birth:
“I think I want to start a family, now.”
“What do you say we make a baby tonight?”
“What do you mean, you stopped taking your birth control?!”
“I’m out of condoms. Are you sure you still want to do this?”
“So—if we were to hypothetically have a baby, how would you react?”
“I took a pregnancy test today.”
“Have you been to the doctor yet, about that stomach bug?”
“You’re pregnant!? How far along?”
“When were you gonna tell me you were pregnant?”
“We haven’t told _____, yet. We should call them.”
“Who do you think we should name the godparents?”
“How are you feeling? Need me to rub your back? Get you something to eat? Turn the air down?”
“What do you think about (insert baby name), for a girl— or (insert baby name) for a boy?”
“Do you want to feel them? They’re kicking up a storm, right now.”
“Did you hear that? They said we’re having a boy/girl!”
“Please don’t freak out, but I’m pregnant— I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT!”
“I think my water just broke!”
“We need to go to the hospital. Now!”
“Just squeeze my hand. It’s gonna be alright. I’m here.”
“One more push! You can do it!”
Stage 7 — Children:
“They have your eyes—”
“Can you run to the store? We’re out of diapers, again.”
“Is it even possible for one baby to scream so much?”
“Ugh, they spit up on my good shirt.”
“They’re your kid before 5am.”
Shhh—they’re finally asleep.”
“I’ve been up since 4am. It’s your turn.”
“We make damn beautiful babies, don’t we?”
“The kids won’t stop fighting, again.”
“_____ got sent home from school for fighting.”
“_____ came home sick today. Great.”
“How do they outgrow their clothes so damn fast?”
“Their first word better not be a curse word. If it is, it’s your fault.”
“I think we’re damn good parents.”
“Why are both you, AND the baby, crying?”
“Can you help _____ with their homework tonight, while I make dinner?”
“It’s your turn to change the dirty diaper.”
“Is locking the kids in the closet—against the law?”
“No. She’s not allowed to date. Ever. End of discussion.”
“Wow, they have a very natural talent for _____. Maybe they’ll be a _____ when they grow up.”
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