N C H A

I really do hope that God gives me more opportunities to lead worship in the future...I really miss it. There are times when I hear songs that heavily stir my heart for the church. I feel the weight of God’s stirring and calling in these songs.

We are still learning. 

We are still learning what it means to utter the words ‘I love you’ with the voice of our hearts, in a way that is heard by our actions. 

It is rough. Oh boy, is it rough.

Our process is flawed, which can be, at times, discouraging. 

But, I am learning that if we position our hearts in a posture of surrender and meekness, we’ll be okay. 

If we continue to be willing to run back to our Father again and again rather than running away from Him, we’ll be okay.

I was praying for my home church while they are currently at a summer retreat. As I was singing a song over them, I saw a vision.

I saw the church worshipping and then God placed a large blanket over the church. It was a blanket but it was also His presence, His glory, and His Spirit. But I also saw cloaks landing on individuals within the blanket. They were kind of like invisibility cloaks from Harry Potter. And then God told me that once you are covered and consumed by Him it is no longer you who is seen but it is Him..and at the same time, you also know you are being found in Him.

….

Cause I loved you before you knew what was love I saw it all, still I chose the cross You were the one that I was thinking of When I rose from the grave

Now rid of the shackles, My victory is yours I tore the veil for you to come close There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore You’re not far from home

Me: Don't You know what I've done?!?

I had failed. I had failed so epically. 

 Expectation: Disappointment, anger, abandonment 

Jesus, You, You’re worth it all

There are moments when you disobey God, but it doesn’t feel real.

Like, it almost feels like a nightmare that’s taunting you, which later leads to haunting you. 

“Did I really do that?”

“Did that really happen?”

“How could I have?”

“No.”

“Wait.”

In these moments, I am learning that I can either: 

A.) Let it continue to taunt + haunt me while I cover myself in shame and hide myself from the face of the Lord.

B.) Choose repentance + grace.

But to be completely honest, A is the easier choice. 

A is the more natural choice. 

A feels like the more deserved choice.

No one else will do, no one else will do.

Only You Jesus

This is my strength

This is my inheritance

This is my joy.

No one else will do. 

Only You Jesus