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"Cold weather makes everything much more difficult, sadly. When it’s cold, I don’t like to be outside, but there’s not much I can do about it since my gym is outdoors. At least you have a Zoroark to cuddle up with; I have my own Liepard to do that job for me." Another sigh escapes from his lips, gaze cutting away from the stranger. "It’s going to be a long winter. I can feel it," he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I consider myself lucky to have my Zoroark back with me, because he's quite big and fluffy and likes turning into even bigger and fluffier Pokemon with his abilities. Though, there are those times he likes to turn into big Pokemon just to sit on me....Anyways, furry Pokemon are great this time of year. Or any time of year."
N gave a quiet sigh, his hand reaching up to lightly scratch his cheek.
"Oh, just wait until the snow starts falling in sheets. Then we can figure this winter will be really long."
"I loathe the cold weather and it hasn’t gotten better over the years." He let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing his arms to try warming himself as his eyebrows furrowed to express his obvious displeasure. "I wish it was something you can just merely wish away."
"The cold weather makes field work hard, but I don't like being inside all day, whether it be my apartment or the lab. It's quite a predicament. Oh, but now I have Zoroark with me once more to help keep me warm, so there's something. Still, winter seems to be the season Fire-types really shine."
Oh. He was certain that N would note the confused look that crossed his face—
"Why? There is nothing that I could’ve given to you— I was lost and broken before I found you… I thought that by avoiding you, you wouldn’t fall to Chaos— I thought it would save you from the curse of madness…"
"I see, now, that I was wrong. But you still have amounted to something beautiful— You were given a loving family, you were given the chance to see the world— I could give you neither…"
"You could, but choose not to. Instead, you decided to pretend as if I didn't exist, only to be brought back into the light someday when you deemed me necessary."
A sigh slipped from N's lips, mentally berating himself for thinking that Ghetsis would understand. He wondered if Zoroark ever told him, how N had been those first few days Ghetsis stopped seeing him. He had been hopeful at first, thinking that his father had just been busy-- he was a King after all-- but, as time went on, he realized that he had been wrong.
He thought he had done something wrong, and Ghetsis no longer wanted anything to do with him.
His voice was quiet, barely audible, but he still spoke, not once looking up at Ghetsis, instead keeping his gaze to the ground, as if it was much more interesting. After a few moments though, he took a slow breath, giving a shake of his head.
"Sometimes, to assist others, you yourself have to hurt. Sometimes, the pain is great. But, I would rather be in agony and have a chance to help you out of this darkness, than be the happiest person in existence, and know you're only falling deeper. You didn't see them, my adoptive parents. Yes, they loved me deeply, and they took care of me, but...."
"I may have been their son, but I wasn't their child. That look in their eyes, knowing that I was once someone else's...Secretly wishing that they had their own kid. I still sometimes feel like as if the only reason they took me in, was because they wanted a child desperately, and weren't able to have one themselves."
N's hands clenched into fists. He had seen the jealousy lingering in their eyes when they saw other families--ones with kids that the parents had birthed. He knew they thought themselves lucky to find him, but that didn't mean they still didn't want one they could always care theirs, in stead of a son who hadn't been with them his whole life.
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"You do not wish to let everyone down? If you die, then you will let everyone down. You wish to have a future that is not like mine, you wish to be something that can benefit this world? How would your death do any of that?"
How could he explain to N that death wasn’t the answer? How many times had Ghetsis wished that he could end everything? At this point the King couldn’t give a definitive number, but it was more than he could’ve imagined— And this, N wanting to give up— This was infuriationg—
“You daft prat! If you wallow in this self-pity then you will suffer as I have. You will burn in your own flames and you will lose everything. I don’t understand why you can’t see that—”
He instantly regretted snapping at N— But how else could he get the damn point across? “You are not the only one who has suffered— You said it yourself, you do not want to end as I have— ‘consumed with no way to be saved'—”
"… Every human on this miserable world has suffered. When you left… there was no way for an ideal world to be built— When I was younger, Zerkrom told me that despite the fact that I would bring the Golden Age of Unova, I would later destroy everything in madness."
After N ran away. the entire plan crumbled— Ghetsis shut down and had no reason to seek a world of ideals because it would never exist. Perhaps he realized that it was impossible in the first place.
"Zekrom wanted to choose YOU. Had you stayed… perhaps you would be the one to bring the world of Ideals… You would be the Hero of Legend, the Herald of the Lightning and Chaos would perish in your wake.”
Zekrom had promised long ago to protect the Harmonia line. Zekrom rejected Ghetsis despite the King embodying Ideals— Zekrom wanted N and it would never be—
"I cannot make your choices for you. I may not be able to convince you to stay in this world, as I have hated it as well… However, the mark of one who has conquered Chaos is that Life is loved more than Death."
"Maybe I didn't want to be the Hero of Legend; maybe I just wanted to be your son--!"
He had been so overjoyed as a child to be a prince, to be able to lead one day. He would ask Ghetsis to tell him the story of the dragons and the brothers almost every night before bed, and fall asleep listening to his voice and dreaming of the day he joined that story. And then--
It had all stopped. And N felt hollow. He felt like he was suffocating, drowning, and there was no way out, no way to breathe. He grew afraid. No matter how far he reached, he could grasp his father's hand once more, even when the man was right in front of him, he was still too far away.
And N left.
And now here he was. Fully grown, but still feeling like that little boy trying to reach out to his father. He couldn't stop them, the tears streaming down his cheeks. He tried pulling the bill of his hat low as to hide them, knowing they were already seen, but still trying.
"What more do I have to lose that hasn't already fallen from my grasp?"
Maybe that was why he still felt like he had to be something. He had failed as a prince, a disappointment. Maybe he felt as if he could make it up, but to whom? He didn't know anymore. Though, did he ever? He felt as if his knees could no longer hold his weight, yet he kept standing there, wanting to sink to his knees. Hadn't he fallen low enough already? Apparently not, for he still felt something pulling him down as he fought against it. But why fight? What was holding him back from just letting it take him?
"N… I am not angry at you… Perhaps in the beginning, I was… Because human hearts are silent and at the time…" He sighed— "Zoroark is a pokemon and I knew there was something strange going on… Because even your heart is silent. You are human…"
Even N who had a pure heart had a heart of silence. This was the tragedy of humans. Pokemon were so full of life, full of wonderful stories. Humans were null, nothing, empty. Cold.
"N… Our human existence is crumbling. However, it should not mean surrender. if you are strong enough… I believe you of all people can conquer Chaos. Initially, that is what I had planned for you… To lead the humans of this world to salvation… You, with your pure heart would be the catalyst for the birth of the World of Ideals."
"You were supposed to succeed in what I … What I failed at. True, you ran away… I believe you can change this world. Instead of falling to your Chaos, why don’t you defeat it? Become the Hero that humans need."
"And what if nothing changes? What if....I only end up as you did? Consumed and unable to be saved. Or, at least, that's what most believe. But, I think--"
N shook his head, cutting himself off in the process. He was still so naive, he was sure of it. Most would say he was delusional, still thinking there was a way to help Ghetsis out of the Chaos within him. Even still, he couldn't help but hold a bit of hope. They hadn't seen the side of him that N had gotten to know the first year and a half with Ghetsis, before something had changed with the man and N ran away, tired of being locked up, and missing the person his father used to be.
"I'm only fooling myself, thinking I could actually be something great. Everyday, I feel heavier and heavier. On more than one occasion, Zoroark had needed to forcibly get me out of bed. Some days, he stops trying, and simply lets me sleep. I do not wish to feel like this any longer, as if I have let everyone down...."
He ran a hand through his hair, feeling like that little kid he had once been his first few days in the castle, scared and confused. Yet, back then, there had been hope in his heart at least. He know couldn't help but wonder where that hope had gone. You think he would be happier with Zoroark back with him, but he instead felt as if he didn't deserve to be around his friend any longer.
“It seems pretty likely. Though I don’t think just being lost would be much better - her trainer would have to be pretty irresponsible to let such a young pokemon run off.” Kris sighed. “I’m planning on taking care of her - at least until she’s old enough to go off with a better trainer - but she doesn’t seem very trusting. If Zoroark was abandoned too, do you have any advice from experience? I don’t want to end up making her any worse off.”
"Considering on how rare it is to find a wild Zorua, I guess that makes sense. But, I only wish she hadn't. Especially if she seems as young as you say. Without a pack, it's much harder for Pokemon to survive out in the wild, and with no one to teach her her ability; it only makes it worse. Honestly, it takes quite a bit of trial and error to open the heart of an abandoned Pokemon. Zoroark isn't the only one I've come across. However....maybe I could have Zoroark talk to her? See if there's anything that can be done to help her adjust. I think it'd be better to have another one of her kind to speak with her than a human, or something."
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“Ah, alright, thank you. I guess I expected that much, but better safe than sorry, right? I found one lost the other day. Or, well, I’m starting to think she was abandoned. She doesn’t seem like she’s in the best state right now, so I was a little worried there was something wrong. I guess Zoroark might help, but… I don’t know, I’m not really sure what to do about her right now.”
N practically felt his heart leap up into his throat at that word, a Pansear popping up over N's shoulder and giving an angry growl. N gave the Pokemon a scolding look, though there was understanding in it as well. He just got a few grumbles as a response, the Pansear jumped off and returned to a Zoroark, growling/grumble some more.
"I apologize for that. I found Zoroark as an abanded Zorua, so...."
“Hm… that makes enough sense, I guess. Since you seem to be pretty familiar with the line, would you mind if I asked you a couple of questions? Is there something that could explain a zorua being unable to use its illusions? Say, if it’s very young, could it just be a matter of age?”
"Well, just as humans are not born knowing how to walk and talk, a lot of Pokemon are not born knowing how to properly use their abilities. Take a Pokemon with the Intimidate ability. Sure, they usually are scary on their own, but it's learning how to fully utilize that that makes the ability. Anyways, long story short, yes, it can be attributed to a young age. If you want, I can have Zoroark help teach it!"
"The Zorua line are able to bend light for their illusions. This is why they tend to glow whenever they change forms. When they are hit however, their concentration is broken, and the illusion is as well. However, they can use this slight bending of the light around them to take the appearance of any Pokemon, and, with lots of practice, even humans!"
A Zorua, huh? That sounded like a fine Pokemon to add to Grimsley’s team. But how did he obtain one? Well, without actually having to go out and get one himself? — Unless… this young man had one to spare.
“I over heard you a moment ago…Zorua sound interesting to say the least. — Being a dark master I feel that I should have one, where do I find this ‘s p e c i a l' Pokemon?”
"Unfortunately, Zorua are near impossible to find in the wild, so obtaining one is quite difficult. I am actually really lucky to even have my own Zoroark, who actually belonged to a trainer before I found him, abandoned. Anyways, to answer your question in what I guess to be a little better way, one way would be to breed one. However, that's not very easy to do either. Zoroark mate for life, and therefore, simply breeding one is hard, because you have to find the perfect partner for them, and it more often than not has to be one of their own species."
"Deino are hard to raise because they bite and headbutt everything to 'see,' and unless you want all your valuables eaten, Sableye can be quite difficult as well. However--! If you really wish for a shapeshifting Dark-type, than there is also Zorua, who posses the same ability as their evolved counterpart, and are much smaller. Though, they can be quite difficult as well since they are quite the tricksters. And if you wish to make sure it doesn't evolve into something you cannot handle for whatever reason, you can also give it an Everstone."
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