OH SHIT YOU FOUND ME @naturalcomedian - Tumblr Blog

i found something inside me that i’m scared of and now i’m going to domesticate it

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thememedaddy

#science is green you fools

greelin

sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling all that great lately. Do you want me to hunt you for sport

#and if not #point me in the direction of someone you would want me to hunt for sport for you

the-quasar-hero

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

#pov you're introducing michael and i to your friend group

illmadekn1ght

they’re burning me onto a CD tomorrow

#put me on a usb and upload me to a government system so i can topple the whole thing

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woodmeat

Are you alive

Don’t ask me no personal shit like this

animentality

#im in ohio #and we're sitting at the number 2 spot for amount of cases right now #what a terrible time to be craving a salad

finrays

Thinking about it, I’m pretty sure my ancestors would be horrified with me.

Not because I’m lazy or unworthy or anything like that…

…but because one of my distant uncles was among the eight survivors of the Essex, the ship that inspired the ending of Moby Dick and sank after being rammed by a whale, and what do I fuckin do after my bloodline has this Ordeal at Sea?

I get a fuckin degree in Marine Science and go back the fuck out there.

retroactivebakeries

#op its your job to kill that whale

gaygalaxys

thememedaddy

#well at least i made it to 30 before they stopped checking

thelegendofjenna

I'm trying to take the high road but I'm like, dragging myself bleeding and sobbing along the high road while looking so so longingly at the low road

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thememedaddy

#he's for sure smarter than me

thememedaddy

#i discovered i have the same birthday as him and was just like #ah #i see

hiveswap

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

#i have returned 66lbs lighter and 10x angrier #and possibly on the verge of becoming a domestic terrorist simply because i believe everyone should be able to afford to live #and not judge people by the color of their skin #and for supporting a fuck ton of other things that'll generally help the country #but hey *awkwardly waves*#still alive for now

naturalcomedian

me: no but are you sure you love me, like really sure, i don't want to pressure you

husband: we have been married for 23 years

#we're coming up on 11 years oh god

loveridden1999

jesus was yeast

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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