'till i don't need you.

      benji knew the baby was literally smaller than his fist, but the fact that it was moving and living inside him was absolutely INSANE to him. he remembers when he was younger, and taking care of his little sister, the thought of having his o w n kids was a thought that plagued his mind often—was something he wanted SO bad. and yet here he finally was. definitely younger than he thought he’d be by the time he got pregnant, but benji couldn’t find himself to care even a LITTLE bit. “ yeah, really ! i thought i had imagined it at first, because it definitely doesn’t feel like they’re moving around in there. but they are. getting all squirmy. “ and he SMILES, a look of pure fondness as he gets lifted off the ground, arms wrapping around jamie tightly. “ believe me, I KNOW they’re real. i’m the one who has to go to the bathroom every ten minutes. god... we made a HUMAN, jamie. can you wrap your head around that ? “

      he glances down to his stomach then, the small bump hidden under the fabric of his thick sweater. it’s the middle of august, and yet benji’s FREEZING. he’s pretty sure jamie cranks the air conditioning when he’s sleeping—simply to spite benji. he’s SURE of it. but that small smile crawls back onto benji’s lips when jamie almost demands that benji tell him what’s been on his mind. “ WELL. “ he starts off, hand coming down to rest on his stomach—a new habit he’s never able to drop now. “ i felt the baby move for the first time today. it’s NOT MUCH. been happening on and off all day, but it’s still really awesome, y’know ? like... o u r baby is growing in here. “

      his hands come up to cup jamie’s cheeks in his hands, trying not to break out into a smile because the love he has for jamie—sometimes it overwhelms him. benji’s face DROPS a bit when jamie asks if it can wait, a small shrug of his shoulders close to follow. not like he hasn’t been totally buzzing with excitement all day, waiting close to the door like some sort of dog waiting for their owner to return from work. “ w-well, i guess it could wait, yeah. “

     benji can’t imagine how lucky jamie must be that today’s promo is all taking place down in toronto, and that at the end of the day he can come HOME. home home, back to benji, back to their condo, back to their pets—back to THEIR baby. it’s the sound of the key in the front door that has benji perking up, head finally pulled out of the parenting book he’s been flipping through all day. with the sweater he’s wearing, you can’t even tell he’s pregnant to begin with. “ thank goodness you’re home ! i’ve got some REALLY exciting news to share while you were promo-ing. “ he grins, hurries into the front foyer of their place to greet jamie at the door, barely gives him a chance to actually step into their home.

     there’s a S I G H that crawls up the back of benjamin’s throat as the mood is almost immediately KILLED. he pushes his feelings back down his throat, knows that trying to make a moment sentimental is absolutely useless with jamie. a big child at heart, benji’s really gotten to know this side of jamie, though the non-seriousness can get in the way of... A LOT of things. “ we’re absolutely not going to fuck in my bed. not after you said that. “ he shakes his head, feet carrying him over to his desk as he flops down in his chair, relaxing back against the reclining back. “ we’re only fucking in my bed if i take down all these and stay really, really quiet. my entire family’s downstairs. “ a playful smile tugs at the younger boy’s lips, eyes briefly glancing towards his bedroom door to make sure it was fully closed.

     benji would be lying if he said that jamie hadn’t aided a l o t in keeping benji ( alive ) throughout his teen years, considering the dread of trying to figure himself out and waking up every day feeling like he was walking in somebody’s else’s skin. but the younger boy pauses, nibbling on his bottom lip for a moment as he glances at jamie, hands still resting on his cheeks. “ you did mean a lot to me, jamie... you STILL do. i wake up every day, and thank my lucky stars i’ve got you. i’ve also got NO IDEA how i managed to get you... but yeah, i’m really glad we ended up together. and that’s not just because i like, idolized you. you’re really, really cool and you just mean a lot to me. i can’t put it into words. “ and benji s m i l e s, warmth filling his stomach as he presses into the kiss, a content hum leaving his lips. “ i love you too. lots and lots, jamie. “

      benji’s nose scrunches up as jamie tells him him it’s not that bad—how could he KNOW that ? he hadn’t even seen the damn room yet ! he can remember what his room looks like without even stepping in there, hands coming up to cover his already on fire cheeks. but jamie’s already moving to open the door, and benji has finally just... accepted his fate. “ yeah, blue was your... theme. “ underneath, the wallpaper is white, but you can’t even SEE IT with the amount of posters tacked all over every. single. wall. posters from concerts, supercentres, ripped out from magazines. the tour blanket rests neatly over his duvet on his bed, by his closet even stands a cardboard cutout he managed to talk one of the stores in the mall to give him after the release of jamie’s signature fragrance. which a bottle of said fragrance sits on benji’s desk half used, beside all his filled sketchbooks and other art supplies—all set neatly inside a JAMISON ACOSTA mug. “ i’m actually gonna die. like i’m gonna drop dead because of this. “

      a frown paints the younger boys lips as he stays against the door, putting as much of his dead weight against it as possible, so that lifting him up would be a bit of a struggle. but it’s not easy when you’re 5′3″ and weigh JUST a bit over 100 lbs, and you’re boyfriend is benchpressing more than what you weigh d a i l y. it’s unfair, really. “ daddy... pretty please ? “ he lowers his voice, because by the way he heard orion’s disgust from the other room, she can hear them clear as day—and benji really doesn’t want his sister to hear him calling his boyfriend that. “ daddy, i’ll do anything if you PLEASE just let me get rid of that stuff. literally anything ! “ calling him daddy is a final attempt at getting under jamie’s skin, to try and save himself from the pending embarrassment and doom he’s about to be faced with.

      benji can practically HEAR the smug little grin on his mothers lips for the corner she’s backed benji into, knowing that there’s no way in hell jamie’s gonna let this slide without getting to see benji’s room before it’s gone forever. and to even kiss up to his mom ? that’s even more of a low blow—benji already had his SUSPICIONS that she liked jamie m o r e than her own son. the younger boy spins on his heel, trying to beat jamie to his bedroom—managing to AT LEAST worm his way between jamie and the door to his old room. back pressed against the white wood, looking up at jamie with a deep frown. “ please don’t go in here, jamie. like i’m actually begging you. i’ve never asked much from you—PLEASE just let me clean up a bit and get rid of all that shit. “ he all but PLEADS with jamie, though in the back of his head knows it’s entirely useless.

      he shivers a bit each time jamie’s fingers drag along the exposed skin of his back where his shirt has rode up, eyes fluttering shut as he simply melts into jamie and RELAXES. he’s so ready for bed, as long as he could slip away from jamie occupied with his mom and take down all those posters, hide all his merch, and act like he wasn’t unbelievably obsessed with jamie at one point in his life. that WAS his plan—till his mom went and babbled on about the very thing he wanted to hide. benji whimpers, brows pulling together as he turns to g l a r e at his mother. “ y-yeah. we are, but i was really hoping i could get up there before you and, uh, clean up some. hide all that stuff in my closet. “

     he’s already beginning to doze off, curled up in jamie’s lap at the dinner table as they sit and talk to his mother while she does dishes. “ y’know, jamie. it’s actually really funny and kinda sweet. benji used to obsess and never shut up about you, and now he’s actually dating you ? i’d be lying if i said i didn’t think his little fantasy would ever come true... and i’m PRETTY SURE if you go up to his room—you’re still plastered on every single wall and surface. “ linda’s voice pulls benji out of his drowsy state, HORROR painting the younger boys face at her words towards jamie. “ why would you tell him that ? “ benji asks, quickly shooting up from jamie’s lap. as if he really had anything to hide from jamison.

     “ pleasures ALL mine, mali. you can just call me jake—cause there’s no short form for my name. “ he lets a chuckle tumble from his lips, hoping that his c h e a p humour can get a laugh out of her. “ um, no. not really. i think i’m just as lost as you are. all i know is i’ve gotta wear a really colourful suit, so that’s pretty fun. i think they’re putting you in a dress. i kinda sneaked a peak at the clothes before you got here—though i didn’t see MUCH. “ jake moves into the seat a few feet away from her, quietly greeting the makeup stylist before turning his attention back to mali—as much as he could without getting yelled at.

     “ harley, don’t make this difficult. “ elijah nibbles on his bottom lip for a moment, a hand coming up to push through his disheveled hair. “ i know you like your space, a place on your own wouldn’t be too bad... and that’s the next thing i wanted to bring up. “ did elijah feel BAD that he had full custody of poppy ? yes, absolutely. it fucking ate him up inside. but harley wasn’t exactly always in the safest state to be caring for a child. not with this drinking problem she’s taken on. “ even if i have... full custody of her—she deserves to see you. and i know she’s going to WANT to see you. your her mother, and she loves you. “ elijah pushes his chair back from his desk, digging around in his desk with his pastels for the corkscrew before holding it out to harley. 

      jake’s been in the game for about three months now, booked for a hefty little handful amount of photoshoots but at least they were all booked for himself only. jake’s never had to work with SOMEBODY ELSE before—and honestly, he wasn’t exactly sure h o w he was supposed to go about this. surely they’d work together and never talk again, right ? all he had to do was hopefully make a good first impression. he offers a soft smile, a nod in her direction quick to follow. “ 안녕하세요. “ the soft smile turns into a GRIN—offering her the most of his kindness he had to offer. “ i think so, yeah. i’m, uh, i’m jake. “

     there’s a HEAVY sigh on elijah’s lips as he leans back in his chair in his private office, a hand coming up to scratch at his jawline. poppy’s passed out in her room a few doors down—thank GOD—thus giving him and harley the time to t a l k about what exactly they’re gonna do here. divorce papers have already been signed, and legally they’re not married anymore. but money’s tight, and neither of them really have anywhere to go. so for the time being, they’ll stay in the same apartment they’ve had since harley was pregnant. “ alright, so... i want you to take the apartment. “ he tells her, moving to lean against his desk.