This growing old is getting old

I love the guy who’s clearly a teacher who came over with the intent to tear two fucking idiot teenagers apart from each other only to find these fucking nerds it probably made his entire month

The phrases “top” and “bottom” now exclusively refer to whether someone would be the top or bottom half when wearing a large trenchcoat and pretending to be a taller person

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

Amazing

Drunk boys: will gather into a huge pack and harass people passing by.

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?

Yellow

No it’s red because of his shirt

No, it’s yellow because he loves honey

You have no idea what you’re talking about

Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom

what would you say to your 10 year old self

shut up ur like 10

I needed to read this

He just seems like such a genuinely good human and I love that so much.

Ok first of all how dare you

Titanic. Ugh.

Sneakers. Uh?

Liar liar