Amy waddled over to the couch and slowly sat down. She looked hot and bothered and not just because of the pregnancy.
“You would not believe what happened at work today Tom”, she snarled, hands bawling into fists and cheeks flushing red with anger.
“What’s that honey?”
“They put me on admin work today. Admin work! Me! After all the sales I’ve brought in over the years, the money, the business reputation, they’ve reduced me to the most basic role in the company!
“Well you are about to pop at any minute babe”.
“That doesn’t make me stupid though does it? I still have it all here”, she snapped pointing at her head to emphasis her point whilst her other hand rubbed her belly. “I can’t believe this. I’m going to…going to…”
Tom put up a hand. She stopped and stared at him incredulously.
“But you don’t have all your intelligence and business acumen anymore do you?”
Her eyes grew wide with rage. She was about to scream at him. To tell him how dare he call her dumb but then he said two words, calmly and simply.
“Baby brain”.
She froze. Her jaw dropped and eyes went slightly cross eyed. The trigger words caused her brain to stop on its trajectory and all of a sudden the future Tom had planned for her began to run through her mind’s eye like a cinema reel.
There she was surrounded by kids and toddlers and babies of all ages. How many were there? Too many to count. And she was still pregnant, absolutely huge. She kept trying and failing to get up off the couch. Her mind was so overwhelmed with the children, with chores, with errands that it didn’t leave a single second to contemplate her career. She was on a never ending carousal of maternity leave stints. Every time she was close to coming back and restoring her career reputation she fell pregnant again.
The very notion should have made her feel miserable and depressed but instead she felt incredibly tuned on. Her aching nipples were pert and alert. She held her huge belly and felt a damp patch spreading between her legs. She huffed and puffed and groaned but at the edges of her mouth was a satisfied smile.
And baby brain is exactly how she felt. Amy was dizzy and air-headed and empty without an interesting business problem to obsess over and resolve. There would be no more career achievements, no more milestones or financial reports or meetings. It was just endless outings to the park and coffee shops, wheeling about prams and buggies, feeling overwhelmed and desperately relying on the help of strangers. Submissive and helpless.
Suddenly she snapped back into the present. Her skin pricked with heat and her cheeks were fully crimson. She wiped away the beads of sweat from her forehead slowly and looked Tom deep in the eyes, nodding slowly as if finally understanding, finally submitting to the future.
“I…I…better call work. Best, best I start my maternity leave now”.
Tom smiled and rubbed her upper thigh softly.
“Good girl”.
She heaved herself off the coach and shuffled to her work coat to get her phone.
As they say in the movies: "this is based on a true story." Perhaps nothing contradicts feminist rhetoric more than "baby brain" and "momnesia." Because, unlike those evil social constructs enforced by a patriarchal culture, brain fog and forgetfulness during women's pregnancies is biological. And is it not a natural evolutionary result: so many beautiful docile pregnant women letting men think for them over thousands and thousands of years. Y'all can wage war against the patriarchy, but not against nature 😉
