NatInTheHat

You sat down on the fancy chair, uncomfortably tapping your fingers on it's arms. 

This whole situation made you feel like a child again. You weren't a child, you were almost an adult! And on top of that, a mercenary. You could get through this yourself. 

The battlefield has been tough. A little more than usual. You noticed the others were much more concerned about you lately, but you always shrugged it off with stress and said it's all gonna be okay. The excuse worked on everyone...expect Spy. 

You've barely been a part of the team for two months. You had no chance to even show yourself to your teammates. But somehow, he just knew. 

He saw right through you. And tonight, he knocked on your door while you were crying yourself to sleep, saying he needs to talk to you. 

Right now you were sitting in his room, watching him settle a glass with red wine on the coffee table before you, and then going to the chair on the opposite end of it, facing you while sitting down. You swallowed. Here comes the lecture about how dangerous the job is and how young you are, blah blah...

- Listen...Oh, also the wine doesn't have much alcohol, you can drink it. If you want a cigarette, I have some too.- He said casually. You were about to open up your mouth, but he stopped.- Don't say you don't smoke, I know you do. Saw you with Sniper after the last mission. 

At that, you looked down to your feet and only nodded. You could hear the man sigh. 

- You see, what I wanted to you about is...I think you should take a break.- He said. 

You looked up at him again, starting to get angry. 

- A break? Right now? I can't, Spy I'm...

- You're in constant stress. I can see it. You can't focus during battles, you miss every single shot. And I noticed you've gained some interesting scars on your arms, am I correct?- Spy said, looking right into your eyes. You couldn't help but look away. 

- It's from...

- I know, you don't need to explain it to me. I just want you to cooperate with me. The sooner you go on vacation, the better. It's only two weeks off. 

- Well, where on Earth am I suppose to go?- You asked, a bit salty. You hated the fact that he was right. 

- You see...- He started, taking the glass full of wine into his hand and taking a sip.- To your family. And if you don't want to, Scout's also going on a break to Boston. You can join him. 

- And how is that gonna help? I'm just gonna stress over you all and the missions more and will be counting days to come back.- You replied, feeling a gulp forming inside your throat. 

- That's the thing. You won't, if you manage to let it all stay here. That's why I want you to talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind. We can work this through.- Spy said, putting the glass back down. His tone was very gentle and he seemed to really care. 

For a moment you put down your defense, and sighed. 

- It's just...the missions. I'm not doing good on them anymore. We keep on failing because of me. And you know, the whole mercenary thing...I'm starting to feel like it's not for me. All the other mercs are so much older than me, and I can't really have a normal talk with any of them. I mean, there's Scout, but he prefers to hang out with them. And I'm...

- Lonely?- He cut you mid-sentence, tilting his head to the side. 

- Yeah. It's kinda...- You felt your stomach twist as you thought about it.-...pathetic. 

Saying it out loud, it really hit you. You felt like crying, but instead just took in a deep breath. Spy wasn't replying, so you decided to say something more. 

- No matter how hard I train, no matter how much I try, I can never impress any of you! I just want to feel like home. I didn't take over war, it's the war that took over me! Don't you know, I would rather be at the state university of New Mexico right now...but it was blown up by Saxton Hale because he needed money!- Now pure anger mixed with sadness, and you felt tears forming in your eyes. 

- Spy, I just want to make a new home. I can't have a normal life, at least I can still have this one. But it's not working out.- At this point tears just started rolling on your cheek uncontrollably as you began to delicately shake in the chair. 

- I just want...want a home...- You began whimpering out as you sobbed. It was embarrassing to cry in front of him, but you couldn't help it. 

Spy didn't say a thing, just stood up from his seat. He slowly took off both his gloves, then the Balaklava off his head. He wouldn't usually, but it felt like a good idea. It was somewhat illogical to feel comfortable with someone who hides themself. He slowly approached you, and when he finally got to you, he crouched delicately to meet your eye level. 

He gently took your hand in his, which made you snap your attention towards him. 

- Shhh...I know it's hard. I promise it will be better.- He said.- You're gonna take a break and when you come back, everything will be okay. I promise. 

He began delicately caressing your hand, which was quite calming. 

- Did Scout agree to that?- You managed to mutter out. The man only nodded, and you sighed.- I guess I can go with him.

- Of course. I'm glad.- Spy said, letting go of your hand. He stood up and looked at you again. You exhaled deeply, cleaned the tears off your face and also stood up. Without asking, you just threw yourself onto him. After a second he accepted the hug, pulling his arms behind your back.