The yearning between Luke Castellan and you.
I mean…it’s not like you didn’t introduce him to the camp. Showing him around and teaching him and Thalia the lay of the land and the secret spots that all the kids like that Mr. D and Chiron (probably) don’t know about. Being the welcoming face that he’ll never forget.
It’s not like you guys didn’t grow up together. In the same cabin half the time. Leading the same games. On the same team and eventually opposing teams because you both got just too damn good.
It’s not like you didn’t parent the camp kids together. Watching them grow. Teaching them fighting skills and life lessons.
It’s not like you didn’t sneak out of your cabins just to sit out on the lake in silence. Or with you blabbering over and over and over with Luke silently listening (if you’re a cabin 12 like me).
And it’s most certainly not like he didn’t think about you nonstop when you turned 18 and left camp to go to college. Leaving him behind to pick up the slack with the camp kids. Trying to care for all of them.
How the hell was he supposed to do it without you? He was a man of action. He didn’t think things up. He wasn’t creative like you are. He didn’t care deeply like you did. He needs you.
And he kept falling and falling and gods, you leaving was just the one last thing he needed to be angry about. He had too damn much. How could he not break? How could he not be so vulnerable to Kronos who promised him oh so good of a turnout?
And oh. How foolish of you to think he was the same boy. How hurt you were when you watched him pick apart the camp and the children you both once cradled so dearly.
And how deep the self hatred of your own betrayal towards the camp to still love him. To still want him. How could you? He killed your family. How could you?
But you can’t help it. You’re terrible. You want him just as much as he wants you because after all? He’s still the boy you grew up with. And you cannot help your little heart but to yearn.
tangentwithtanner
germansingergirl
janainaart
snowghoul
2087
