a wild, wild one

Everything went through fine, as was to be expected. The portkey in question they had to use was a literal key, carved out of some kind of granite stone and handed to each of them as they came to a simple archway guarded by officials on either side. There was nothing beyond the archway, quite literally, just the end of a corridor, it made her nervous to be stood in a line with her parents, staring at literal nothingness, but her father’s energy behind her was calm and steady, when he touched a hand to her shoulder she took in a breath and allowed it to rush over her in a wave. Sometimes it was ok to indulge herself. She watched her mother, conflicted with her own nerves and father’s calm reassurance, step forward and gently touch her key to the side of the arch- then she took a step through and vanished. That was normal? Tami clutched tightly onto the handle of her suitcase and clung to the key with the other, taking in and holding a breath as she stepped up to the arch. Just as her mother did, she tapped the key to the stone frame and an immediate energy seemed to churn in the space before her, the sort of twist of energy one might usually connect with apparition of something similar. One of the guards manning the arch informed her then that if she wasn’t quick she’d miss it so she stepped forward towards the empty corridor and then in a blue or colours and sounds it was no longer empty. Her mother stood a few feet away and when Tami glanced over her shoulder she noted that the space behind her was now empty, not only that but there was only one guard now beside the arch in the room and they weren’t a stony faced Brit from the Ministry but a stoic Japanese woman who gave her an appraising look and then a nod. Tami released her breath, brows furrowing, but she didn’t stop to think and instead rushed the steps across the space to her mother and smushed her face against her coat in pure relief. A moment later her father stepped through the arch too, appearing out of thin air with his suitcase trailed behind him, giving them both a smile.

It was the strangest feeling, the room they’d arrived in was almost identical to the one they’d left from, just outside of it they were even in a similar department to the one from before and once again their bags were checked, they handed back their keys and in return were given their national travel passes, but once they stepped through into the centre of the governing building everything was different. For one, everyone looked like her. Dark hair, dark eyes, warm colour to their skin. England was a very diverse place to live, not just in the magical world but the muggle one too, but it was fair to say that in the UK the Japanese truly were a minority. She wasn’t used to seeing so many people who looked like her. The clothes were slightly different too, the wizarding robes that the officials were wearing were a little different for starters, the semi-cape additions to many of their robes were replaced with long, flowing haori-style capes and rather than suits many of the officials wore simple shirts and trousers but around their waists were obi-style sashes in shimmering golds, silvers, reds and purples.

“The obi represent their department,” Her father explained, noticing her watching.

“Oh? I thought obi were traditionally for women?”

“Not exactly, it’s likely you’ve just noticed them more on women because they’re designed to be much wider,” Her mother chipped in with a smile, casting a glance about the space. “Everyone here wears the haori and the obi, the uniform is not designed specifically for either gender so it’s not entirely traditional, though it would’ve been a few hundred years ago. The uniform used to consist of tabi and zori too but they’ve had to adapt to changes in the world, hold onto tradition as well as embrace the change.” Her mother looked at her a moment, a tender look exchanged between them, she cupped a hand briefly to Tami’s cheek and then nodded. “Come on, we’re not here to mull about the Ministry.”

The next small leg of their journey was a straight jump from Tokyo to Osaka. She recalled once reading that the Ministry in the UK had portkeys in the toilets that allowed travel in and out of the Ministry- a hideous idea, if she’d ever heard one- where the Ministry in Japan had a similar short-range portkey construct that involved stepping through mirrors. It was a whole hall of mirrors, in fact, row after row of them, to the left people were stepping out of them and to the right people were stepping through. Her mother explained there was no set destination in them but they were limited in where they could go, allowed travel within Japan but no further, you only needed to picture your destination and you would end up there. Tami didn’t know the destination exactly so she held her mother’s hand tightly and let her mind go blank as she was lead through- caught up in a stomach-flipping swirl of colours- from the Ministry building to a quiet reception room in an entirely new city.

“Where are we?” She breathed, holding her mother’s hand more tightly.

“Osaka,” Her mother gave her fingers a squeeze. “This is one of the Ministry’s other buildings, a direct link between two major cities, I knew it’d be safe to travel here.”

Her father appeared beside them a moment later, no sooner had he done so did a well-dressed woman walk into the room with two sleek, black cats following in behind her. She offered a polite smile as the cats hopped up onto the front desk and watched them curiously. When she spoke the language was familiar but the words meant very little to her, it felt as though she’d heard it in a dream once, the tone and sounds resonated with her but the meaning in them was lost in translation. Her mother spoke up though, words effortless and confident, they exchanged a few comments before the woman nodded.

“Have a nice trip.”

That bit, she understood.

Tami smiled, relieved and tried to sound half as composed when she nodded and replied, “arigatou gozaimasu.”

That was exhausting.

Her mother took her hand with an encouraging smile and they dragged their suitcases outside into the bustling street. There were people everywhere but she couldn’t tell if they were magical or not, they were in a muggle part of the city that was for sure and the wave of energy that came crashing around her was overwhelming. She clutched her mother’s hand tighter, grasping onto the quiet in all the noise, and her parents lead her to a taxi, all of them clambering in and the physical barrier it provided giving her some relief. They wove through the city, it was familiar and simultaneously nothing like she’d ever seen, bustling people and the winter cold were easily found back home as were shops and restaurants and all other things- they just looked a little different. It grounded her a little to feel as though not everything was strange to her here. When they came to a stop outside what appeared to be a hotel she was more than a little confused, as they rode she had come to lean against her father, dropped her head on his shoulder as she watched buildings rush past, but now they stopped and he gently encouraged her to sit up as he sat forward in his seat.

“What are you doing? Are we here?”

Her confusion was met with an apologetic smile as her father leaned over her and pressed a kiss to her forehead before he explained, “This is where I leave you, Miko.”

“Wha- I don’t understand?”

“Your father can’t come with us, not where we’re going.” Her mother sat forward too, taking one of her hands and one her father’s in both of hers. “We can still see each other on Christmas day but this is the way it has to be.”

She really didn’t understand- what did that even mean? Way it has to be. He was her father and they were a family and they spent the holidays together, as they always had for as long as she could remember, so why did being here change any of that? Why hadn’t they told her? It was so obvious that they’d known long before they arrived but they hadn’t said anything, perhaps it was simply because they knew her, knew that had they mentioned it back home that fact alone could have twisted up her stomach and fed the thoughts in her head that said: we really don’t have to go, let’s just stay home, I don’t want to deal with this right now. Perhaps they hadn’t told her for the simple fact that telling her would shy her away from the situation but now they were here, half way across the world, she couldn’t just back out even if she wanted to and whatever they’d known before they’d arrived the two of them had already agreed without her that this was for the best. For as long as she could remember she’d been so involved with them both, took part in both of their work, tackled things as a family, she forgot sometimes that all those things were wonderful but at the end of the day they were still the parents, she was still the child, sometimes they had to make choices without her. It made sense but she still wasn’t happy about it. She sunk back into her seat when her father climbed out of the taxi, he took his things and stopped outside of the hotel doors to turn back and wave at them through the window. Tami idly pressed her fingertips to the glass, barely comforted by the quiet of her mother’s touch squeezing her fingers. She wasn’t sure she could do this without both of them.

The taxi pulled away though and took off through the city again, then away from it, pulling them further away from her father and closer to something she wasn’t sure she was ready to face. It was an odd feeling, honestly, she wanted to hide herself away from the reality that she was having to face, so nervous about it she could hear her heart thrumming in her chest, but at the same time she couldn’t look away from the window. She longed to take in as much as she could while she could, this new place was where her parents had been born and grown, the language and culture was theirs and so she wished it to be hers too- as much of it as she could learn, at least. So she curled up into her mother’s side, tucked her face against her shoulder and allowed herself to be wrapped up in her hold, but continue to gaze out of the window. It must’ve taken them over an hour, at least, the bustle of the scenery changing to something quieter and much less overwhelming. She liked the way the streets winded here, around homes and shops with curved roofs, it was cold out and anyone who walked the streets was wrapped up from head to toe with their breaths ghosting and their cheeks pink. They slowed after what seemed like forever and Tami’s brows furrowed as she sat up- a station? A fairly small building from the outside, it had a bright red open front with a roof that sloped more on one side than the other. Her mother spoke to the driver briefly before she opened the door, introducing a gust of cold air into the space, and once stepped outside offered a hand back for Tami to take. She stepped out too, held tight to her mother’s hand, and allowed herself to be lead to the boot of the taxi.

“Are we taking a train?”

“Not quiet.”

She watched her mother spare a glance around them, assuring no one was watching, then she waved her hands and their suitcases began to shrink down to the size of lunchboxes. Her mother packed them in their rucksacks, one each, then hauled hers up onto her back and handed Tami her own. She shut the boot and offered another thanks to the driver, stepping off to the side of the road as they drove away. Tami followed suit, hoisting her rucksack up onto her shoulders and watching the taxi disappear out of sight. It was different to the city here, so much quieter, and when she turned in a slow circle to take in her surroundings she noted how the land grew wilder and steeper here too, winding it’s way up with roads disappearing behind bends and trees grouping together more and more until in the distance all she could see, in part, was endless trees climbing higher and higher into mountainous terrain. It was beautiful. She imagined what it must be like to live here, a breath away from all of this, not unlike but also completely different to the forest that neighboured Hogwarts.

“We’d better get going, it’s a long walk but we can take it slow.”

"A long walk?” Tami’s brows furrowed. “Where exactly do your family live?”

“Up there.”

Her mother gave a casual gesture to the mountainous forest climbing away from the houses and shops of the town and Tami’s jaw dropped- she had to be joking?

She was not.

Walking boots made a lot of sense now though even with them Tami had to question whether these trails were meant to be tackled in the middle of winter. The ground beneath her feet was uneven, the path was less of an actual path and more a carving in the dense undergrowth that had been formed after years and years of feet treading upon it. It never failed to amaze her how quickly dense a forest could become, from nothing at all to towering trees that let mere flecks of sunlight through their branches. The trees were different here, many of them were tall but thin, their bark an ashy grey. It took her breath away when she tipped her head back to watch them climb up into the sky. Apart from the trail itself the forest seemed untouched by people, especially as the sounds of the town began to disappear, though their energy lingered behind everywhere. It wasn’t a bad thing to feel. She wasn’t even sure it was people as much as it was the forest itself. It held a warmth within it’s twisting trees, this was a quiet place, a good one. Sacred. Untouched. Almost. The first choishi they came across rose from the ground like a stone soldier, tall and aged, man-made but weathered in a way that could make one believe it had been born from the forest itself. She liked the way they stood, a pillar with other shapes piled atop, it seemed to her a very tall stoic man with a very tall hat. It was the first time she overtook her mother on the trail, they hadn’t gone too far but it had been an even path to follow, and when she spotted this forest soldier stood waiting ahead she picked up the pace and jogged up to greet him. She reached her fingers out and touches the stone with her fingertips, pushed up onto her tiptoes to trace over the kanji characters that marked the surface, a smile curling the corners of her mouth.

“We’ll see a lot of them,” Her mother confirmed as she stopped beside her, taking a deep breath of the forest air. “They call this the Koyasan Choishi Michi trail, it leads through the forest all the way to Koyasan and these lead our way- or part of the way, in our case. If we keep up a good pace we can probably see one of them every ten to fifteen minutes so look out for them, ok?”

Tami grinned.

She took the lead for some time then, the trail wasn’t easy on her feet or legs but there was a great deal of motivation in wanting to see her next forest soldier. Though soldier almost didn’t seem right, tall and powerful as they were, she felt as though they were her guides as much as they were her protectors. How long had they stood? How many people had walked passed them as she would? There was so much history to be held in something so simple, the air was cold but her skin felt warm as she walked and mulled these questions over in her head, when she saw the next choishi she sucked in a breath and forced more power into her legs so she could job up to meet them. She touched the engravings again. The same for the next and the next and the next after that. They took turns leading, her mother would overtake her and take her hand as she did so, pull her along a short while to keep her legs moving, release her again so she could set her own pace and after a while their roles would switch. As they moved higher the path opened up more, it was still a near constant climb and she had to watch her steps as she moved but the quiet, open space was settling to her. When the path opened up, with no one else around, she would occasionally apparate further ahead when her legs were aching and she needed a break. She reached out on occasion and touched the trees, standing tall and proud for as long as they had, she willed them to give her some of that strength. She couldn’t say if it worked or not, there wasn’t much choice but to just keep going. After three hours of walking another trailed joined onto theirs and her mother explained to her how the trail could be accessed through several points if you took the train up the mountain, from where they’d started the overall hike to Koyasan could take over seven hours but they wouldn’t be going that far. As well as choishi there were maps along the path too though it was hard to stray from the trail when it was so obviously sliced into the forest, she needn’t even think too much but merely let her legs move and her feet find the easier ground to step upon.

It was half an hour later or so, after the first trail had cropped up on their left, that enough came into view to their right. She paid it no mind, at this point her thoughts were well and truly running wild, she was taking the time to concentrate on anything other than the burning in her legs and the fact that it had been hours and it was going to get darker soon and she couldn’t be in a forest in the middle of the night- flashbacks to eight months ago filled her head, dropping through the air, mud in her cuts and blood in her mouth, branches pulling at her flesh as she fought her way through them. She inhaled, pushing the thoughts away and reminded herself that the footsteps behind her were her mother’s, she was safe. Just keep walking. She took a few more steps, came within a meter of the new trail, and immediately stilled. Set back from the current path but framing the new trail stood two more stone pillars, not as tall as the choishi she’d seen so far along the trail, and they were less guardians as they were a welcome sign. The box that sat upon each of them hadn’t been noticeable before but now, as she got close, a warm light pooled in the hollow stone space and illuminated where the paths met. Her mother moved ahead of her, stopped where the paths came together and stared ahead down the new path with her expression unreadable. After a moment she turned to Tami, smiling encouragingly and offering a hand back to her.

“I think this means ‘welcome home’.”

She took her mother’s hand as she stepped up beside her and they crossed over to the other path together and continued on into the forest. It seemed infinitely quieter here, the energy was different, the traced of people gone and the path more overgrown, roots crawling across the space as though they sought to hide it. As they walked, hand in hand now, her mother explained that no one else could walk this path. Other people didn’t even see it. It was there for their eyes and their eyes only. It was another half an hour of walking before the path began to change, the earthy ground disappearing into a path paved with smooth slabs interlocked together. Either side of the path, ever few meters of so, similar entrance lanterns to the start of the path could be found and each time they neared a pair they lit up, showing them the way. The trees were still thick either side of them but their endless lines began to vanish, they turned a corner and through the gaps where they stood she could see the forest wasn’t endless, instead a huge roofed wall split the treeline. That wasn’t what caught her attention though. It hadn’t been clear at first but as the path bent the structure ahead of them came into view, stood proud and tall at the end of the path, a black and gold karamon gate with it’s sweeping roof sheltering it. Her heart was pounding, her mouth agape, she squeezed her mother’s fingers as they followed the lights towards the boundary. The wall became clearer and clearer, she looked either side and it seemed to stretch off into the trees for some time, whatever lay beyond it wasn’t visible except the very tops of sweeping roofs that peeked above it. They stepped passed the last lanterns and the giant gates before them gave a rattling creak, groaning with their weight and age as they swung open themselves.

She stalled.

“I- I don’t know if I can do this,” Her voice left her so softly she wasn’t sure her mother had heard her, a moment passed and then the fingers clasped around hers squeezed.

“I know,” Her mother whispered back. Tami looked up at her, heart in her throat, her mother’s other hand was clenched at her side and when she smiled there was a nervous glint in them that Tami wasn’t sure she’d ever seen before. She inhaled, looking surprisingly vulnerable when she added in solidarity, “Me neither.”

“Really? You couldn’t have told me this before the hours of hiking?” Tami smiled at her, releasing a humourless laugh as she shook her head. She squared her shoulders, forced herself to stand up straighter, taking in a breath before she confirmed, “Together?”

“Together, always.”

They held onto each other’s hands tightly, she couldn’t tell which one of them was shaking nor did she think it mattered at that moment who was having to reassure who. She felt stronger for having her mother there and if she could provide that same strength back then she was glad of it. When they stepped forward they did so together, one foot in front of the other, beneath the towering structure before them and into the open space beyond. It was a courtyard of sorts, a paved space that was cut off at the front by the outer wall and framed on the other three sides by a series of connected buildings- three by the looks of things, joined together and only told apart by the three different roof structures sweeping above them- lifted above the ground with a wooden walkway wrapped around the edge of them. There were lanterns here too, on the corners of each walkway, that filled with light when they stepped foot into the space. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, thrumming away, and that was all she could here. Just her own heart in her chest, her own nerves twisting inside of her, her own frazzled energy buzzing off her skin like electricity. Nothing else. Just the sounds of the forest, the branches dancing in the breeze, the distant whispers of chimes greeting the wind with their song. The gate wheezed shut behind them, causing her to jump as they clattered back into place, she cast a look over her shoulder and before she’d had the time to turn around she heard a not completely unfamiliar voice.

“Chiharu?”

Tami was barely able to twist around on the spot again, recognise the nervous squeeze of her mother’s fingers around hers, before all of a sudden the grip was completely gone from them. It left her breathless, the speed in which her mother’s hand was snatched away from hers, panic bubbled up and she jumped back a step with her hands clutching together over her heart. It took her a moment to fully take in the situation, her mother’s expression as surprised as hers from where she now stood, a few steps further back than Tami, with another woman wrapped around her front and clinging to her tightly. She’d seemed to come out of nowhere, Tami hadn’t even heard her- no, she hadn’t felt her. Stood right there, clinging tightly to her mother, the woman was falling over her words, voice high and emotional and Tami waited to feel it. To have to push back against it’s force. But she just felt nothing. She could see it though, see the surprise turn to overwhelming joy as her mother’s face lit up and her arms clasped around the woman who clung to her, pulling her close and holding her there. They spoke to each other in rushed, warm tones and though she couldn’t understand the words she could see the emotion well up in her mother’s face as she stroked her fingers through the woman’s hair, then drew back to cup her face, gazed at her with a teary laugh leaving her.

“It’s Chiharu!”

The woman turned to call over her shoulder and when her gaze landed on Tami she froze, her mouth hanging open. Her face was streaked with her tears, face full of surprise, but Tami looked at her and she was beautiful. In fact, she looked like her mother, just a little fuller in the cheeks and her hair fell all the way down to her elbows. She turned back to her mother, clasping hold of one of her hands as the other came to hover over her heart, she looked between them a few times before a breathless laugh left her.

“Oh, Chiharu, she’s beautiful-” The woman turned to her, eyes filling as she confirmed. “You’re so beautiful.” Then she released her mother altogether and closed the space between them to envelope her in a tight hug. She let herself be held, be squeezed tight, and it overwhelmed her how much warmth she felt and how it was actual warmth. Actual arms wrapped tight around her, the swell of feeling in her gut hers and hers alone, nothing else from the woman who held her close except the simple warmth of her skin. When the woman pulled back she didn’t hesitate to cup her hands to Tami’s face, drawing her close to get a good look at her, she brushed her warm thumbs over her cheeks and as she did she muttered, “Oh, you’re so big! You were such a tiny little thing in your pictures and now look at you- utsukushii.” She seemed to realise how close they were very suddenly and laughed, taking a small step back and releasing her cheeks so she could wipe at her own. “Look at me, I’m getting carried away, you don’t even know me. I just- I have seen your picture so many times, I feel as though I know you. It’s nice to meet you, Tamiko, you can call me Oba but you will have a lot of those so Chinami is fine too.”

“Tami,” Her mother came back into view, stepping up next to Chinami with a smile. “This is my sister, your aunt, Chinami. Second oldest of the family.”

“Your little sister,” Tami breathed, feeling her face flush with emotion. She had so much to say but all she managed was a soft, “Your English is really good.”

Chinami laughed, bringing a hand up to cup one of her cheeks again. She nodded, “Of course, most of us can speak it fluently. Not so much the little ones, you will have to be patient with each other.”

“Oh- no! I didn’t mean... That’s not... You don’t have to make an effort for me or anything, I know a little and I can learn more while I’m here- I want to learn more so...” She trailed off, releasing a shaky breath before she shook her head and diverted to a bashful, “It’s nice to meet you too, finally, Chinami.”

The moment was interrupted as a door from the building before them slid open and from it came running two other woman, practically racing each other- one jumping down the walkway before reaching the stairs- bringing a chorus of ‘Chiharu’ with them. They descended on where the three of them stood in a stumble, crashing into her mother and clinging to her immediately, and not a moment later did a third woman join them. Then a fourth. Tami shied away from the slight commotion by a step or two, watching as the four new woman crowded her mother and took turns holding her hands, cupping her cheeks, stroking their hands down her face or clutching onto her arms. A final excited call came from the house and the whole bunch turned to where another woman, an arm clasped around a very round tummy, was waddling excitedly along the walkway towards the end of the stairs. Her mother let out a burst of laughter and shouted over to her, removed herself from the group to run over to where the woman now sat on the top of the steps, and Tami felt her face flush again as the other four woman rounded to turn their attention towards her.

It happened all at once, she felt her lips part and she tried to form some kind of greeting but she had no chance to do so before they descended upon her in a similar fashion to how they’d come upon her mother- just gentler. They surrounded her, two taking her hands, another cupping the side of her face, the fourth holding a hand to her chest. They spoke over each other, excitable and emotional, muttering things in Japanese she couldn’t pick up even if she’d tried. The two holding her hands drew her attention first, they were strikingly similar to each other, their faces made up of sharp cheeks and full lips, still it was in the eyes most that she could see her mother in them. Her aunts Ruriko and Nanako. Twins. Second youngest. The woman to their left, her hand to her heart, spoke up next. She was a little taller than the rest, her hair swept up atop her head in a ponytail. Her aunt Sakura. Third oldest. Finally, the woman with her hand cupping her cheek introduced herself. She was shorter, a little rounder, with colour in her cheeks and an apron tied about her waist. Her aunt Satomi. Technical middle child. Each of them took a turn to hug her then, tucked her right up against their chests one by one, making comments about how big she was, how much she’d grown, how long they’d wanted to meet her. Ruriko and Nanako kept hold of her hands as they lead her towards the stairs, her other aunts gathered around her, to where her mother was crouched down before the pregnant woman on the stairs. When they approached the woman looked up from gazing at her mother to Tamiko in the centre of the small crowd and her face lit up. She looked much like her mother too, her hair shortened in a wavy bob and held back by a thick white band. The youngest. Her aunt Michiko.

Her mother’s sisters.

Her mother had six sisters.

“You must’ve been walking for so long, are you hungry?” Chinami asked as she took Chiharu’s hands in hers once again.

“Dinner is almost ready,” Satomi assured. “I made all of your old favourites, Chi.”

The sisters began to chatter again, using words she didn’t understand but she didn’t have to, as they spoke to each other Tami couldn’t take her eyes off her mother. There was such emotion in her face, a mixture of things she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen in her before, in all of them. She could see it so clearly in all of their faces, the overwhelming warmth and joy they shared in being reunited, the bittersweet ache of all the time that had passed- how long had it been since her mother had been back here? 17 years, at least. What struck her the most was all of this emotion was around her, surrounding her, so obvious that anyone could see it but Tami couldn’t feel any of it. There was no rush of feeling carried and brought by them, no invisible weight pressing down on her she had to push back against, no barriers to build up and space to be created in her head. She was overwhelmed for sure, filled with such emotions she didn’t know what to do with them, but they were undoubtedly, unarguably hers. So much of them too. Filling her right up from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. It made her want to cry. The conversation continued but as it did the group began to move, they helped Michiko stand up on the steps, took her mother’s rucksack and her own from her without so much as a debate, lead her up the stairs and set off along the walkway to the centre of the building with it’s door still slid open.

When all at once they stilled. Tami and her mother had been ushered to the front of the group and stepped out onto the walkway was a woman both familiar and completely unknown to her. A tall, proud woman with long, dark straight hair pulled over one shoulder. She had been alive years more than her mother and the group of women surrounding her, though no part of her looked withered or aged except her eyes, that held in them more depth than Tami would expect for someone who stood as quietly tall as she did. She was important. Tami couldn’t quite say why only she felt it, some strange pull in her chest, a shudder along her spine when the woman’s gaze landed on her. She looked like her mother. Or more, her mother perhaps looked like her, as all of her aunts did in some way. Some had the curves of her cheeks, others the posture she held as she stood before them, all of them had her eyes. She walked the space between them and she brought with her a calm, not in the way she felt other people but it was a settling in her bones, an understanding deep in her core that told her if there was any control here it belonged to this woman and perhaps her alone. She didn’t look at anyone else, just Tami. She stopped a step or two before her and appraised her with her gaze, slow and unreadable. Tami was shaking when she reached forward and lifted one of her hands, then her heart jumped up into her throat when she plucked the glove from her one hand, lifted and did the same to the other. She held them both them, lifted both of her scarred hands up to inspect them closely, brushed her thumbs over the sensitive marks with a feather-light touch.

“They did this to you?”

Tami opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Did this to her? They were really that awful. A constant reminder to her, the experience she couldn’t shake, already she hated them so much and now she could see she had good reason to. They were wrong, they were terrible, they had left her tarnished and she should’ve known her family would see it.

“No, they are a result of her escape,” Her mother spoke up, saving her from the silence, she felt her place a hand on her shoulder and was grateful for the relief if brought her. “And they make her all the more beautiful.”

There was a moment of silence, the older woman had not taken her eyes off Tami, she looked between her hands and her face then something in her expression softened.

“We all have scars, some are just easier to see. They tell our stories but they do not define us, just decorate us with our past.” She brought her hands up then and gave them both a gentle squeeze. “Watashi no mago no Tamiko-chan. Beautiful, indeed. You have great strength in you, bravery beyond your years, wear your scars with pride. You have done well with her,” For the first time the woman turned her attention towards her mother, a soft smile curling her lips when she added, “Okaeri, Chiharu.”

Her mother released a breath, eyes creasing and smile widening when she replied, “Tadaima, okaa-san.”

It was a tense moment as she watched her mother dissolve into tears before her and before she could help it she was crying too, tears streaming down her face and hands coming up to hide it from everyone else. Not that it made much of a difference. She was wrapped up in so many arms she couldn’t make sense of it all, held tightly and safely, cradled and supported as the weight of the moment overwhelmed her completely and there was nothing more she could do but cry about it. Cry because she was relieved, cry because she was happy, cry because her mother seemed so young then that she barely recognised her, cry because none of it mattered. They ushered them both into the open building, straight into a large open room with a row of chabudai running along the centre. She crumbled to a heap at one end of the tables with her mother at her side, they cried there side by side and found each other’s hands to hold tightly, allowing the rest of the family to bustle around them. They served tea and sweet little cakes to them both and Tami sipped from her cup and tried to take bites from the treats but it was hard with how much she shook as she sobbed.

She thought back to what her mother had said earlier.