she eddie on my nash a ton

*ahem* me: internet, any coffee, yoga pants, music, shitty school, xbox.

amazing

probably but tell me more

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system

Girlfriend bought me very short gay shorts that say MEAT on them because that’s all I am to her

STOP IT!!! UR ALSO MY CUTE SWEET BOYFRIEND!!!

i ate a lala flower i dont frel so good

boy go get me my pringle

Apple announces new indistinct wet pile emoji

I can distinct it

Don’t even try…

therapyspeak jigsaw: are you in the right headspace to play a game that could possibly hurt you?

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

i'm pregnant and it's mine

Lets let friday get us pregnant and have a baby that lasts the whole weekend