Sonder.

If you ever start slipping away from my mind, it is not because you were not unimportant, but rather because time told me that there is love in trusting the universe and letting you go. My mind has always been good at tying up knots with souls that I know in my heart I should let go, and for a long time I was fighting with my head because I did not want it to seem like I didn't care. But the truth is that I did, I do, and a little part of me always will. Maybe tonight you are working over time or you're grinding away to the midnight hour for some exam, maybe you're at a party with new friends or you're coming home with another in your hand. I may not know how you are, but I know my mind is making room for new memories to grow, I'll grow habituated to your memory but that won't ever discount how much I wanted you so.

Best,

I still miss you, it is as simple as that. I still wish things would've aligned for us. I still think about what we could've been. I've still left knots loose, afraid to tie them up too hard that we won't be able to unravel them anymore. The other day the last whom I almost loved got a gf and I was suddenly hit with a mix of emotions. At first, I thought it was cause I was not over him. but that isn't true. cause the truth is that I only think of you. And I think he to some extent finds a malicious joy in making it known he is happy without me, just to make me feel sad that I am on my own. I think it hurt more because it is a reminder I do not have you. I don't even know if you still think of me like i think of you. Sometimes, I try not to go on tiktok too much because of those moving on posts saying "him not reaching out is a sign that he does not care--move on". But I don't reach out to you, and that doesn't mean i do not care. I think ever since my life shifted with school and work and everything, I know you were right, that we would not have a proper relationship. You in PA school far away and me back at home in teaching school. I pray you are happy, and I know this is selfish, but i hope you still think of me at least once in a blue moon. I miss you, that's really all. I don't want to make poetry out of you. i just want to talk to you. But this will do for now.

Best,