And could we meet here / until the end of Time?

Quarantine diary 5:29 AM 

22.3.2020

It is around 4 AM when you’ve been up all night that your mind starts doing strange things to you. It starts to evaluate your entire lifestyle, you decide what youre going to change about the way you live after you wake up at 11 and have breakfast at 12. It is at 4 AM that you decide that your running train of thoughts, the flow of consciousness which you have curated through hours of drug abuse is worth noting down. It is at 4 AM that you think that all your thoughts have the potential to end up in a novel - one which would inspire epiphanies for other people who would stay up all night to read them. Do you see this endless cycle? Every thought you have at 4 AM is like ouroboros, it will eventually return to where it started, leaving you in a cesspool of your own confusion. I must make a habit of writing regularly, i must use this time as a whetstone for the mind. Without routine, my mind will become like tumbleweed, rolling endlessly through the desolate western landscape of a dilapidated movie set. 

23.3.2020

2.07 AM Its getting difficult to breathe again. Why do I depend so much on the behaviour of others to feel good about myself. I will be riding the waves of mental happiness even if its a small little gesture, a name which pops up after a long time in your insta story seen list, a post someone shares, some form of virtual interaction with the person I like. It doesnt even have to count as an interaction. Just the mere presence makes me feel like I can breathe normally. I am having difficulty organising my thoughts, they are rushing through my head, making the walls hurt. I havent felt like this in a long time. My mental state is exacerbated by the sheer amount of people who paraded the streets today, I dont know how many got infected today, the symptoms wont show for a couple of days, then the numbers will rise and this lockdown will get extended.