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The hypnotic rhythm of Eastern music and the smell of incense engulfs me. In a voice like calm water, the instructor gently guides. My Ujjayi breathing empowers me to hold impossibly difficult and long poses. The “It” Jean, Harem Joggers Like a prayer, I silently chant, “I am one with the universe…I am one with the universe…I am one-dering what the ‘It’ jean for fall will be. Hmm..So many shapes,…

Mother’s Little Helper

Cherry Blossoms

The joy of spring! Cherry blossoms explode in pink puff balls. Days get longer. Crocus push up from the cold ground to seek the sun, and Ahhhhchewww! Allergies. For those of us who suffer, spring brings renewal and life, and an excruciating inner ear, inner throat itch.  I find myself wanting to jam a sharp dental instrument deep in my ear to scratch the itch.

My husband calls me…

I’m a binge Facebook consumer. Weeks, maybe even months go by. Then I find myself sucked into the vortex as I endlessly scroll. There’s the cryptic “Thanks everyone for your support while I was sick,” posting. Hey, would you mind adding a little detail? Was it a common cold or Ebola? For those of us who weren’t there for you, it’s hard to know the level of guilt and alarm we should feel.

There…

Stay at Home Mom Career Ideas

Typical Stay at Home Mom

As a stay at home mom, I often find myself thinking of cockamamie inventions or careers that would allow me to stay home with my kids, cook dinner, keep the house relatively tidy, help with homework, work out, cart kids to and from sports, and of course, take a nap now and again.

So far, “The Bleeper” which bleeps out swear words around your children, “Sockmate”, a force…

Girl Scout Cookie Time

My friend Anne’s daughter is embarking on the rite of passage known as Girl Scouts. She has inherited the craft and culinary skills from her mother, and now it’s time to test her sales skills with the annual Girl Scout cookie drive. The good news is that those darn cookies sell themselves.  Our family orders at least six boxes; three Thin Mints, three Tagalongs.  Emily is…

Preparing the Perfect Thanksgiving Dinner

Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving

The perfect Thanksgiving feast was created by Snoopy and Woodstock. Popcorn, toast, pretzel sticks and ice cream sundaes. Hallelujah! The only thing missing was wine.

In my early 20’s my friend Paige and I were assigned the stuffing for a Thanksgiving dinner her boyfriend was hosting. We showed up with a box of Stove Top stuffing and a bottle of Wild Turkey. That was…

“Hey Deb, sorry I have to bail on book club tonight, I have too much homework.”

“Excuse me? You have homework?”

“I mean my daughter, I have to help her. Sixth grade, it’s intense. It’s really putting a damper on my social life. I can’t go out on weekdays anymore, and cocktail hour has been severely restricted. I need all my faculties of reason.”

Robin Williams in “Dead Poets Society”

I don’t…

The Best Halloween Costumes for Grownups

Halloween is a magical time of year when children are allowed to wear polyester jumpsuits derived from petroleum, free base sugary candy, and stay up late harassing neighbors for treats. But let’s be honest, although we indulge our children in this strangest of holidays, Halloween is for grownups.  After you’ve ordered the overpriced polyester onesies for your children, and thrown a few spooky…

Before and After

It’s been almost two weeks since I deposited my daughter’s furniture at the crash shop. Apparently my DIY mess is difficult to undo. I created a sticky goo from my sanding, paint removing, re-painting frenzy that is impenetrable, and withstands sandblasting. I’m wondering if NASA might have a use for the chemical compound I created. Apparently their only choice is to remove the…

It’s time to update my eleven-year-old daughter’s room from little girl pink. We start in earnest by purchasing a white lacquer bed, and rug on Overstock.  Her new bedding dictates the color scheme; gray, white, and Aquarius blue (in the 80’s we called it teal).

It’s starting to take shape, slowly, very slowly. My daughter points out that when her friend Riley decided to update her room the…

  iPhone 6

I am not a conspiracy theorist. I’m a skeptic.The problem is conspiracies not only abound, but are proliferating. It’s obvious the CIA wanted to get rid of Tupac. And that strange floating eye on the dollar bill clearly represents something sinister. A secret so powerful and destructive to all of humanity, protected and passed down through the ages by the Priory of Scion, the Knights…

Fall Means Soccer

The season morphs from summer to fall and the air becomes crisp, nature’s colors radiant. Our family anticipates and embraces back to school, reunions with friends, and of course, football season. But alas, along with excitement, fall brings regimented schedules, rendering lazy summer days a fond, but distant memory. We now have places to be, on time, geared up, ready for…

The last day of school was June 12, after a week of picnics, field days, and pool parties. The four large grocery bags, two for each child, filled with a year’s worth of school work, were deposited in my living room. There they sat, week after week. I considered having a coverlet made, and simply incorporating the pile into my décor.

The congressional debate going on in my brain, was at an…

Top Pot Doughnuts

When the coach sends that inevitable request for “snack mom” for games, be it soccer, baseball, or flag football, I hang back. I wait, and I watch, until every snack slot is filled, and then some. You may think me despicable, and perhaps I am. I like to think of myself as a conscientious objector to after game snacks.

I am 100% sure that none of the kids on our team our going…

What You Wish You Got Fo’ Da’ Mama’s Day

Las Vegas has a way of rubbing off on anyone who enters that most distinctive den of all dens of iniquity. My husband was at a trade show in Las Vegas last week, and sent me a photo of a fantastic Missoni bathing suit cover up.

“Yes, lovely”, I responded, realizing this was to be my Mother’s Day gift. I began envisioning myself poolside in the summer, reading a magazine, sipping cocktails,…

A Mother’s Day Tribute

There is a tone of wistful nostalgia when my mother, Helen, talks of growing up during The Great Depression and the war years. Collective deprivation produced a cohesion never experienced before or since in America. She reminisces about playing kick the can on Albany Street, collecting metal scraps and newspapers for the war effort, and as a five-year-old,  walking to the corner grocer to pick up…