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ššĀ Ā @namedbearā
āĀ yo,Ā b!Ā youĀ inĀ here?Ā iĀ foundĀ thisĀ bigĀ assĀ tubĀ ofĀ cheesyĀ poofsĀ andĀ iĀ needĀ someoneĀ toĀ keepĀ countĀ whileĀ iĀ shoveĀ themĀ inĀ myĀ mouth.Ā theĀ worldĀ recordĀ isĀ twenty-nineĀ butĀ iĀ canĀ sureĀ asĀ shitĀ beatĀ that!Ā āĀ theĀ factĀ thatĀ sheĀ getsĀ noĀ answerĀ backĀ isĀ Ā .Ā .Ā .Ā unnerving.Ā theĀ factĀ thatĀ sheĀ findsĀ bearĀ curledĀ upĀ inĀ aĀ cornerĀ sendsĀ herĀ stomachĀ plummetingĀ straightĀ toĀ hell.Ā Ā āĀ hey,Ā āĀ outĀ ofĀ herĀ handsĀ theĀ containerĀ tumbles,Ā landingĀ onĀ theĀ floorĀ andĀ runningĀ away.Ā itāsĀ theĀ lastĀ thingĀ sheĀ thinksĀ ofĀ asĀ sheĀ kneelsĀ downĀ nextĀ toĀ him,Ā aĀ handĀ restingĀ onĀ hisĀ knee.Ā herĀ toneĀ shiftsĀ intoĀ somethingĀ rareĀ andĀ soft,Ā threadedĀ togetherĀ withĀ fearĀ andĀ concern.Ā āĀ bear,Ā whatāsĀ wrong?Ā whatĀ happened?Ā ā
it was odd, the things that could take him back there. today, it was the sound of shoes against the tile floor in the gas station. there was a specific squeak that they made, a noise that heād heard a million times before. the same as a pair of sneakers one of the scientists had worn. he would always hear them through his door, a sign that they were coming to get him, or someone else, for something bad.
itās not an instant thing, but a spiral. a small reminder that is enough to drag him back, and from there his thoughts continue to spiral and spiral and by the time that heās found himself crying, he canāt even remember if thereās anyone in the store. it doesnāt matter, his legs are shaking and he has to sit down, and heās behind the counter, and he pushes himself into a corner, making himself as small as he can get. he used to do this too. cry and try to hide. hands are in his hair, pulling slightly at it. heās not sure that itās calming, but he does it anyways.
by the time that liv shows up, he couldnāt say how long heās been sitting there. he hadnāt really heard her until she was close, until her hand is on him, and at first, he jumps back just a bit. itās almost as if sheās on fire, as if sheās burned him. thereās even a small whimper that comes from him, something so scared it doesnāt even really sound like bear. he was back there, and itās only when he finally looks up and at her that he wasnāt actually. that it was just liv.
āiā¦ā he blinks a few times, an attempt to get rid of some of the tears that are blurring his vision. there is no good answer. no easy answer. āi just thoughtā¦ā thought that maybe they were back? no, heād known that it was just a pair of similar sneakers on a stranger, he still knew that now. but it didnāt make him feel better, really. it didnāt make it any easier to breathe.
āsomething uhm. i justā¦.ā he canāt find words, and heās sniffling, and his breathing is shaky, and he shakes his head. āfuck, i just thought i heard someone i knew.ā itās not as if itās a secret that something is wrong with him, that heās fucked up and itās someoneās fault. āfrom when i was younger.ā heās still crying, and he canāt stop, and itās only scaring him more. what if he just keeps crying forever?
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