I Mess Up And Try To Fix It

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

Is it licking boots?

because of sexual desires i will not disclose here.

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

I’ve known this post longer than I’ve known most of my friends

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

i wasn't ready for that..lol

my doctor told me i have to do PT this fucking sucks

these exercises are sooo monotonous like i keep walking down the same hallway over and over 🙄

who was that.

the fucking fetus in the sink won't accept my insurance

Politics is actually like…one of the top reasons to cut someone out of your life? Where the fuck did we get this idea it’s an invalid reason to abandon people? It’s literally your statement on how you think society should exist and what rights you think people should have and how. It ain’t fucking “My uncle Craig’s dead to me because he takes his sandwiches with the crust on” it’s “My uncle Craig has consistently stated a hatred of minorities and poor people for longer than I’ve been alive, of course I’m gonna call him a piece of shit”

Fash’s mad at this post. Angry that people might hate you if they know your thoughts on society, eh?

whenever i’m stressed about doing something my brain will automatically repeat 2-3 Half Life: Full Life Consequences to itself as a means of motivating (?) me and it doesn’t work and actually only serves to piss me off. but it keeps happening

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!

The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored