FIRST LOVE / LATE SPRING

i’m sorry ive been gone a while but i’m not abandoning this blog, things just hit a slump for me irl and sadly rpc gives me so much anxiety i can’t bring myself to try and be here when that happens. i’m still not 100% but i’ve had some good news so i’m hoping to be back here very soon, i want to revamp all ben’s pages because it’s long overdue.

i’m sorry ive been gone a while but i’m not abandoning this blog, things just hit a slump for me irl and sadly rpc gives me so much anxiety i can’t bring myself to try and be here when that happens. i’m still not 100% but i’ve had some good news so i’m hoping to be back here very soon, i want to revamp all ben’s pages because it’s long overdue.

episode four - git gone

❝ d’ya mind ? ❞

❝ best drinks have self defining names. you order a manhattan, god knows what you’re gonna get, but you order a gin and tonic, a jack and coke, it’s not just a name. it’s a command. ❞

❝ how long you’ve been working here for ? ❞

❝ ooh, that’s bad luck. ❞

❝ don’t do it. ❞

❝ i was waiting for you. ❞

❝ why’d you help me ? ❞

❝ you’re really not very good at this; i saw you coming a mile off. ❞

❝ are you trying to recruit me ? ❞

❝ you could be a world class thief. ❞

❝ you look like you could get anything you want just by asking for it. ❞

❝ what d’ya say, huh ? ❞

❝ hang on a minute. i’m sorry. ❞

❝ i owe you one. i feel beholden. ❞

❝ let me buy you a drink. ❞

❝ let’s go somewhere. ❞

❝ so you are a thief. ❞

❝ the weak spot, see ––– all you need is one. and it’s usually people’s attention. ❞

❝ show me. ❞

❝ oh, god. ten years, and [ … ] has NEVER looked at me like that. ❞

❝ there’s a lesson in there somewhere. ❞

❝ my grandma always had cats. she said that they could see ghosts when we can’t, and warn you of thieves. ❞

❝ do you ever worry about what will happen if you keep stealing ? ❞

❝ do you believe in the afterlife ? ❞

❝ all i know is there’s more than i know. ❞

❝ yeah, i think that might sound wiser than it is. ❞

❝ when you die, you rot. it’s a fixed system. physics doesn’t take sundays off. ❞

❝ my parents believed in everything. father, son, holy ghost, spirit filled and full of the light of god. they taught me all of it, chapter and verse. ❞

❝ i went to bed every night in a world full of magic where anything was possible. ❞

❝ it’s like everything that made the world anything more than what it is is just –– stories. like snake oil. but worse, because snakes are real. ❞

❝ i wanted to get that magic back so bad, but one day i just accepted the fact that i couldn’t, because life is just not that interesting. ❞

❝ don’t look at me like that. ❞

❝ the fun is just getting started. ❞

❝ i could teach you to fight. ❞

❝ hey, you want coffee ? ❞

❝ are we pregnant ? ❞

❝ what i’m about to say may sound irrational to you, but i have all sorts of rational reasons for saying it, and doing it. ❞

❝ say it, and we’ll talk about whether or not you should do it. ❞

❝ are we … discussing this, or are you telling ? ❞

❝ there’s some wiggle room. ❞

❝ are you unhappy ? because i’m happy, okay, you make me happy. ❞

❝ yes, i see that you’re happy. from this side of it. the wrong side of it. and i think maybe i resent not being happy. not resent you, just … resent. ❞

❝ do you still love me ? ❞

❝ we are like a history book. we’re established fact. we don’t change. ❞

❝ i represent FAILURE to you ? ❞

❝ i can take it. if you’re on the other side. i can make it if you can. can you wait for me ? ❞

❝ just glad that i could be here to help you, you know ? ❞

❝ hey, don’t stay here alone tonight. ❞

❝ why did you say that ? ❞

❝ come on, [ … ] , say what you mean. ❞

❝ last night was a one time thing. you were there. and thank you, but we’re not doing this. we did this. and now it’s done. ❞

❝ you don’t love him. not the way he loves you. ❞

❝ is that all this was ? just fun ? ❞

❝ are you saying no ? ❞

❝ i lived my life, good and bad. definitely not light as a feather. ❞

❝ in life, you believed in nothing, so you will go to nothing. you will be done. ❞

❝ there is nowhere else for you to be. ❞

❝ tears have fallen for you. ❞

❝ do i get a say in this ? ❞

❝ death is not a debate. ❞

❝ how many do you think have come before you, all with promises and threads and offers of gold, glory, love ? who are you to misguide me from my duty ? ❞

❝ you are but a man, not even one i should remember. ❞

❝ i’m gonna come in now. i’m gonna come in now, okay ? ❞

❝ is this a haunting ? are you haunting me ? ❞

❝ does [ … ] know ? ❞

❝ i’m a vulgar woman. anger and grief have just really made me vulgar. ❞

❝ god, you know, i should thank you. it’s so much easier grieving someone when you’re glad they’re dead. ❞

❝ oh, fuck your feelings. ❞

❝ everybody has feelings, everybody cares about what they feel. i don’t care about what you feel. i care about what you think. what do you think about what you did ? ❞

❝ what was your big lie, [ … ] ? ❞

❝ i love [ … ] … loved [ … ]. love [ … ]. i love [ … ]. (s)he’s the light of my life. ❞

❝ you, i remember. ❞

❝ there is nothing i can do to lighten your heavy heart. ❞

❝ your heavy heart sank you like a stone, right back where you last left off. ❞

❝ was it love ? ❞

❝ love will always have you at a disadvantage. ❞

❝ many is the man who would take any version of his lost love rather than leave his love lost. ❞