Diary of a Quiet Strom

How do i tell the people with comfort family, that I intentionally go home late.

I feel so little, when somethings are normal for them but luxury for me.

How stupid is it. I say comforting words to others, while secertly hoping that someone would say same to me.

I thought we were close until you treated me like a stranger today.

Keeping people away is better for mental health.

I don't know but why i don't feel like myself with them again.

I don't know why people make me feel like that i don't know anything. Is it really necessary to be perfect at everything? I do accept that i am an average.

World can't be seen same from all lenses.

Even around people, it's lonely.

I don't know why poeple find it boring, when i just wanna sit quiet.

How stupid the people think that, progress and achievement always comes from rush.

Call me stone, rude, selfish or whatever. Now my tears are all dried. Huh, speaking for yourself is a crime then okay I am a criminal. I don't want to be a submissive good little girl. I am sorry that I am not sorry to speaking for myself You ask him that did he eat or wanna eat and you didn't ask me, why? Because I tried to protect myself from his words and disrespect I was laying there with empty stomach while seeing you asking him for 4 times that he wanna eat or not? Why? I wanna know why And then you say I am the selfish one here You call this family who always look down and disrespect. Then I am out, i don't want that. You said, where i am sitting and taking lessons. Did you ask him, where he got his lessons of disrespecting me? You always sing your works and when I sing then you call me that I am doing favor on you You shouted at me like you are cursing me to be alone forever. Don't you know, that how much I am enduring. You say that you don't have one, i do know that but what about me when I talk to myself when I don't have anyone Now, i don't even want to explain anything to you, or ask you about anything for me. I am done and don't worry, I'll go soon. I try to be happy but that shitty situations of everytime remind me my place that I am great to be alone. Now you will say that I am potraying you a villan and I am a victim. Nah, i am done with things, i don't blame you because you must've felt something in the past and have your own wounds. I don't know, but I can't be nice all the fucking time. Is it Mandatory? That if you an eldest then you have to be a responsible for everyone and have endurance? It's funny, i dream that maybe someone will be there for me But today, i realised, no .. nobody will like me ..why? Because I know how to speak for myself and you know what's funny? People will admire you, love you, when you always agree to them whatever they say otherwise, you are nothing, but an ungrateful selfish piece of shit.

They call me weird when i look at sky, love the lights.

Whom do i blame? when people around me have the mindset of supressing.

Sometimes i just wanna dive in my imagination and never come out.