🥀

This year I've made the most improvement in forgiving myself. (Shocking I know) and I mean that in the way of how I respond to myself when I've made a mistake is with extreme scrutiny divulged around the concept of "deserving" of any negative repercussion. Something along the lines of "it's your fault, you made this decision" and getting my self to accept it. Well, my thought process has had more intercepted thoughts now such as "maybe this situation occured because of me but that is what felt right to me at the time" or accepting I may lack certain fundamentals in discerning an outcome of a situation. Being more gentle by thinking "I'm trying best" and "I was simply unaware and just because others may have done it differently doesn't mean I could pre-determine this outcome." The comparison to others as if were all born with equal advantageous positions and innate wisdom is what gets me. I hope I can ponder these thoughts more often.

It's so much worse than you could even imagine.