♪ Look at me ♪

To say that Sorin was taken aback would be putting it lightly. He blinked a few times, jerking backwards and raising a hand to touch at his face, staring blankly at her, mind swimming with shock. There was a vicious, vengeful, predatory part of him that wanted to pin her down and rip at her throat- something hungry and wronged, something that demanded retaliation. But there’s a fog overpowering his mind, and he has no choice but to obey her demand. 

He didn’t bother saying anything to her. Since he couldn’t attack, he simply scuttled away from her and wrapped his arms around his knees, tearing up. He’d been so nice- as nice as he could have been, but what was he supposed to do, die? Just because she was greedy and prejudiced? He hadn’t even taken that much. Again, the words Erasmus had said in the woods so long ago fluttered through his mind- If we’re going to be monsters, we might as well embrace it. It didn’t matter how he approached people, how nicely he asked. He was always just going to be some monster to them. And that was fair, he knew. They had every right to think of him that way because that’s what he was. What was the point in trying to be gentle with these people, trying to approach them with caution and kindness? Did it even make a difference? They’d treat him the same even if he was bloodthirsty and reckless and cruel, so why not stop fighting it? Why not give in? Why not embrace it? He was a walking corpse sustained by blood and that was all he ever could be, and trying to be anything else was met with failure after failure and he was tired.

Tired enough that even though something inside wants to chase her down and give her a reason to fear him, he stays put. Curled up, sitting on the icy floor, all he feels is an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. He didn’t want any of this. He still didn’t know what had happened to bring him here in the first place, can’t remember how he’d gotten here but he wants to go home to the chapel and he wants to find Kainan and feel safe and he never, ever wants to go outside ever again. Ever. Some nagging, paranoid part of him is whispering that he can’t have any of that, and what if he can’t? What if he’s dead? Maybe that talk about hell freezing over isn’t just a metaphor, maybe he’s in hell, maybe he’s in purgatory. This certainly isn’t heaven. He probably died somehow and now he’s damned to be tortured for all of eternity in this lonely, bright, cursed maze.

Then, his body is moving, but not through his own volition.

He’s definitely in the underworld, that’s all he can think as he’s dragged along the icy floor- this is some sort of awful magick, because he’s still curled up exactly the same, only now he’s being dragged after that horrible fishbrained jerk- his clothing catching and tearing on the ice. Disoriented, he tries to scramble to his feet, but even once he’s standing,that doesn’t put a stop to it. He has no intention of moving any closer to her, but he can’t go the other direction, either, and he panics, clawing at the walls of the maze to no avail. Nothing he tries makes any difference. 

Eventually, he stops. He doesn’t know how long it had been, but finally, blessedly, it stops. He stumbles a few steps- forward, because for some reason he still can’t go back- and, clutching at his waist, immediately doubles over and vomits, red blood a sharp contrast against wintry white. There’s hardly anything in his stomach, but he gags and dry heaves even after it’s empty, his head spinning and his legs and entire body, for that matter, feeling phenomenally weak. Then, he halfway straightens up, catching sight of the horrible beasts ahead, and doubles back over once more, unable to focus on anything but the nausea rolling through his gut.

She barely felt the weight that was behind her, not knowing of the magic that pulled the vampire to her even though she sought escape. Violated, she felt violated, she felt raped as she could feel the blood drip from her wrist. The throbbing pain letting her know she should go on. Feelings of assault washed over her from years and years ago. Her blindness has always been a curse, and most times, it has been an escape, what she could not see, she could say she could not feel, she could pretend it didn’t happen even though deep down she knew it did and she could not escape. But escape she tried.  When she left the colonies  for a different life, one without war from either sides, she was met with all kinds of people, magick and those of none. She had met friends, but she had also met those of wicked hearts. Too many to count, too many who had abused her good nature and her kind stance, too many who had been greedy with themselves and blind. Too many who saw her as a frail child to a frail woman who was blind and unimportant. Too many who used her, too many who were selfish, too many who played the weak card, when she herself rarely used her blindness as a crutch, though of course she was more powerful than others as a mer, did not mean she was as fortunate in destiny.  It made her laugh that those who see and are able bodied were the greedy ones, always open to ridicule and shame others so easily as they could hoodwink spectators to believing them, leaving those with little way to defend themselves to bask in the mockery and stares and boo’s of everyone else. It was suffocating, it was depressing, there were many days that maybe she thought she would not make it, that she was not strong enough on her own and pride had wrought her to be apart from her own people.

‘Everything would be alright, just calm down’ a small almost insignificant mantra would be in her head at these times. Now that she was here, stuck in a maze with a man who for all intents and purposes was bigger, heavier and more able than her,  one who was no doubt undeniably thirsty. 

Why? She had felt thirst and hunger as well-  in days living her years in the sad unfathomable slums of the human realm, but one did not take something from another’s possession without getting the other’s ire. 

.

The scream startled him, and he gave a yelp of his own in response before glowering at her, tightening his grip on her arm. That hadn’t been called for, had it? “Yes,” Sorin said, the thirst making him cranky, “Obviously. What’s wrong with me is the sun… just-” He gave a whiny huff. This was why he didn’t like to talk with the people he fed from. The more he could distance himself, the better. He couldn’t be free from guilt, not entirely, but it just grew worse and more overwhelming if he got to know them first. “I don’t know what I’m doing out here.” He deflated as he said that, but still held on to her arm. “I don’t ever sleep, but I just woke up in this… this maze, and I never go out during the day. I don’t remember how I got here. I don’t even remember the last thing I was doing, it’s just… a blank.” He swallowed. He wouldn’t say it aloud, but he was scared. He had no clue how he’d ended up here and he had no clue how to leave. At the moment, he really, really wanted to crawl back to the chapel, but even more pressing than that was the hunger.

There was a part of him that wanted to lash out, wanted to press a hand over her mouth and bite into her hard and forget about being polite. A part of him that wanted to drain her dry. The part of him that was still rejecting complete darkness balked from that, even if it would have been easier, convenient. That part could still easily be overcome, especially if he wasn’t satiated soon- He could feel his control slipping by the moment, so he tightened his grip once more and struggled to figure out the right words to say. “I don’t want to die here,” Sorin said finally. “And you’re the only person around. I don’t want to kill you or hurt you, but I need blood.” All of that was the truth. “If you think I’m taking too much, you can always use your mer powers to make me stop, can’t you? But I promise I’ll do my best to be careful…“ And with that, he pulled her arm up and bit into her wrist.

The first bite on her wrist was supposed to make her angry, and his words and feelings of what seemed to be guilt or at least a sense of rationality did not work with her. Even if it held the same truth that the sun and the thirst became too much... Nadeia felt blank. She felt her blood forcefully being taken and her eyes - already used to the blankness, felt weaker as each sip was taken. Her ears rang with warning of all the voices in the forest that seemed to sometimes just scream and then forcefully killed - not just by humans or those of human stature but also of animals.  How many? How many seconds has it been, how many gulps has it been? If she had seen his face she might have felt sorry, but even though Nadeia has traveled with all kinds and had been a martyr in most if not into and for her own clan - she made those decisions on her own. Giving her blood, being a distraction, being used for whatever reason groups of beings would ask of her to do, a violation sometimes even. Despite all the happy memories she would always focus on, her journey through years around the world - alone and with ill-people also came up. She was not a stranger to the darkness of hearts.   Three seconds now - three large heartbeats as her heart seemed to want to break free from her chest.   Not all who wander are lost... but she was now, and even though Arain was her home - and the home of many, she always - always tried to see good as she believed being blind would give her less judgement. Right now? There was not rage... there was only a small moue of fear wrapped around an endless bout of despair. 

Four... her throat was starting to constrict. Tears now fall from her eyes.

She was getting weaker,  as if she could not stop him if they continued. The sadness and pain overthrew her rage - mixing it in equal parts. “Stop...” she mouthed as she cried- no sound, no words. She could feel her heart tighten so.

SLAP

With all her might Nadeia had slapped the face attached to her wrist, so hard that she could feel a long, deep scratch from where the violator’s teeth were. “STOP”

Abra wasn’t prepared when she ran straight into a woman, who seemed to be wondering the forest at such an odd hour of the day. What was she doing? Didn’t she know the dangers that lurked within this forest? In all honesty, Abra wasn’t even sure what dangers existed in this forest. With the discovery of the magical dampeners a whole new level of danger now subsisted for all inhabitants of the forest.

“Yes! We must move now!” Abra screamed, probably alarmed the women who seemed unaware. Grabbing her arm, she began to run in the opposite direction trying her hardest to lead the other as far away from the dampeners as possible. Abra weaves and bobbed her way through the dark forest until she came to an area where she felt safe enough to stop. 

“I’m sorry to alarm you but I needed to get us both away from that area,” Abra said through light pants. She took a moment to gather herself and her thought before she continued. “Do you mind telling me what it is you were doing wandering the forest at this time of night?”

The heart beats were so loud, it was enough for Nadeia to map out how to walk along her surroundings, each step the woman took, each twig that snapped and leaf that cracked sent quick and jagged mental images on where she shoud lift her feet, where to run where to make her way around - even though her hand was held by another.  Even her own heartbeat was beating loudly, unaware of what the possibilities of the forest could give. Sure she had been to a few places, and magic would always be everywhere, and it could be anything hidden from the brightness by fake smiles, or even those critters in the darkness that led to gruesome deaths. Whatever this was they they had to run away from, it was probably quite dangerous. 

Taking a hold on her breath, something Nadeia was easy to admit that she lacked - endurance - though on land, she coughed for a moment trying to bring in air and water back into her lungs and throat. “I thank you, even though I do not know what exactly it was.” she said, still trying to lessen the parching of her throat. “I was---” she remembered what she was out there to do - she was mapping the area of the forest, a mapping that obviously she had already lost focus on. With a small bout of panic, she overlapped the other’s question with her own. “Where exactly are we?” she said, slightly fearful, because as far as she was concerned, Nadeia was lost - especially if she did not have a point 0 to where she started mapping. 

“I was walking along the Southern area of the forest, I have not really been able map it and it was important that I start to try, evening is usually easier to me.” she explained, not that she felt she needed to. “It was probably a good thing I did bump into you and you saved me from something that I might not have enough skills to do myself, she said with a gracious smile. 

Emma jumped ever so slightly at the sudden appearance of the woman. However, her question and demeanor seemed kind enough to start. So Emma ran her hand through her hair and gave a nervous little laugh. “Um… really I’m not quite sure. I just thought it might be fun to make the rock a variety of colors… plus I’ve had these chalks for quite some time. They were just sitting there.” 

She didn’t quite realize that the other woman was asking because she couldn’t see it. Most of Emma’s attention was on the drawing she was working on. Otherwise she would have found a way to help the woman ‘see’ the drawing. 

Nadeia had her smile stay on her lips, the woman was very beautiful, her tone, despite the nervousness was prim and proper, almost melodious. It felt like she was talking to a fae. Gingerly, Nadeia tilted her head as she listened to the woman’s words and actions, she mapped her head around the movements, learning where the pile of chalk was.  Quietly, she knelt on the area where the ‘colored’ chalk were. Taking one in her hand and using her fingers to learn about the item. It was powdery, shorter than a pen but thicker than a normal crayon. Briefly she wondered once again - even though she knew she shouldn’t - what different mediums of colors felt like on their canvasses. How chalks to paint to crayons would work their magic on paper. Did people even use chalks on paper? One of the few things she would never be able to learn to do.  So engrossed at her thoughts she didn’t notice that she was about to break the chalk, and with a quick, ‘snap’ the chalk broke into two, removing her from her reverie and standing suddenly, holding out the chalk with two hands towards the fae. “I... I’m sorry, I didn’t know they were... feeble.” she said, trying to find a good word. Obviously feeble wasn’t a very good one, but rather than the snapping on the chalk, she felt as if her spine had snapped and even though it was an accident, she felt pretty guilty, thinking about things she knew she could never have.

Gabriel wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he supposed he should have figured the singing. It was the type of magick he had the least experience with and it lasted longer than he would have figured. His own magick, he kept funneling into a bubble of sorts, protecting the area from the natural elements that usually go on as they please but he could only interrupt that rhythm for so long. Just as he began to fear he was losing it, her song ended and he could let the tide rush back in, sound and wind and life overwhelming him for a moment as it resettled all around them.

Blinking, he looked up at her as she grabbed his hands, slowly getting to his own feet as she both thanked and praised him. The latter tinted his cheeks pink but it was hidden by the cold as he found himself beginning to smile. The last music wielder he’d come across hadn’t had such a respect for magick and he was relieved to find it very alive and well here. “You’re quite welcome, Nadeia and it’s okay, you had other things on your mind. I’m Gabriel. Did you see what you were looking for?”

Nothing about it had lit up anytyhing for him but he still wasn’t all that certain what he was looking for. Some kind of soft flexible something. “If it helps, I could melt the snow in the area?” Maybe it’d be less of a hindrance then and Gabe wouldn’t lie, he got quite the vindictive kick making the shit go away. Even if it kept coming back. Winter would never be his favorite season, though he’d found ways to adapt and be able to stay outside for long amounts of time.  

“Gabriel.” she breathed, a small smile playing on her lips as she remembered the stories of humans she had traveled with, pilgrimages, sacrifices - “It’s a beautiful name... did you know in the Catholic religion, Gabriel is an important name?” she added, even though it was a nonsense kind of tidbit, it was something she was fond of sprouting around. 

At his question she shook her head no even though the offer was a welcome one, the disheartened feeling “Alas, You seem to want to? Be my guest.” the flow of magic that she would feel would no doubt be a boost, but she didn’t want to continue. Maybe later, when she was able to work out her feelings, meditate again. It was also becoming very stressing, instinctively, she faced towards the water, trying to not go and just jump in the waters and forget.  “You know,” she started after a while, “it’s lucky I did run into you, there are many unpleasant beings here. Well, even I can’t be sure how you are - but, you did offer your help, and didn’t take advantage of the blind.” Of course it didn’t usually stop there, there would always be more layers upon layers of who a person was, but it easier to not be confrontational, especially since there was not any reason for it to be.

“Is there a reason you find yourself walking around here? Or were you just a passerby and I had good luck have a good samaritan lend me a hand?” Nadeia wasn’t sure what made her ask, but it was obvious that he was not there for her, but maybe was headed somewhere. Hopefully she did not take much of his time.

Greta considered the question, it came as something of a shock that outside of the GRF, Nadeia was one of the first people to inquire about the work that occurred behind the facilities walls. The other woman seemed to see through her, yet there was nothing in her voice that might indicate any disdain for Greta’s actions. It was strange really, like Greta had suddenly taken a step back through time and nothing had changed, but the truth couldn’t be further from that fact for nothing had truly remained the same with the passing of years.

Still, there was a rawness to the question that shook Greta in a way that she hadn’t been expecting, she had intended to make a name for herself. All of her life had been about innovation, she rarely cared much for others, but at some point she’d ceased caring all together. “There are some components from my previous work, but it is difficult to compare what we’re doing at the GRF to common areas of study - the introduction of magick is something of a new field all together.” Greta answered, somewhat truthfully, though if she was being completely honest a simple yes might have done just as well.

Nadeia was more graceful than Greta remembered, for someone without any sight, Nadeia navigated the gnarled roots aptly and with quick eyes, Greta Grimm did not miss a beat. “Perhaps, but I suppose we’ll never know. Their work will live on in the inspiration of their students.” Greta remarked noncommittally, she had not personally carried on the study that was now twenty-years old in a world where medical innovations were made almost daily. 

She moved to stand nearer, but found herself taking a seat not at all far from Nadeia, and not at all unlike the distance she’d once kept between them when the woman was her patient. Seeing her now, Greta felt aggravated that she had been deceived for so long, Greta had wasted a long time turning her nose up at her little brother, and the truth was she’d been wrong the whole time - but further to the point, for weeks the truth had stared her in the face and she simply hadn’t known. 

“What are you? Since you were clearly never truly human.”

Nadeia never felt as she had to keep her guard up with Greta, or many humans for that matter, at least not those humans with guns and taunts and evil hearts. Now... there were no reason to, after all -  she knew Greta, not just knew of, but knew to a certain extent. As long as she did not do anything untowards the human, then they would be able to keep their civility, and if possible, their camaraderie from long ago.

The mer nodded her head, something she got used to with the years that had passed. Back then it made no sense to use many bodily functions, now it was tit for tat as it helped those she communicated with what she was thinking or feeling. "You have always been ahead, Greta." she smiled warmly at her thinking back at the years that had passed. Back then they were, if a spectator would see, two female of almost the same age, in which maybe she was only a little bit older. Now though, despite the possible physical appearances as obviously people grow old, there was a big difference in both their age. She, so much older despite looking almost the same, or so Nadeia believed.

Her tone was foreign, it felt almost chastising, as if it were a doctor who was not said of the proper signs when a patient was asked. Yet, Nadeia did not find it hard in her heart to answer - despite all the knowledge she had seen, heard and felt the past few months.

"I would say even if you do not ask, and I would not keep it from you if you ever wondered before. I am a magick, I am of merfolk." Nadeia said at the other blonde. "I did not expect that we would meet again and did not think it would mean anything if I had told you before." In a way, Nadeia never told any human about it, Greta would have been one of the very few, but she never got to saying it, not to any non magickal soul.

"Does it change what you see of me? Would your kind do me harm?" It wasn't the best of questions, but it was better to come clean out front.

“You don’t have to apologize!” Gabriel loved using his magick. If he could find a way to use it here, he’d be happy to. Listening closely, she described how it was too loud between the snow and the leaves and oh. Oh. That he could do. Freeze surroundings, block wind, – he’d never considered it being akin to freezing time before that seemed impossible but this he could do. Her mood soured sharply so Gabriel took a careful step forward, gently reaching out to touch her shoulder. “Hey. We’ll find it. It’ll be okay. I can do that. Nature magick is way more possible than time magick. Please don’t fret.” 

Drawing back, he steeled himself a little before kneeling down into the snow and reaching out to brush aside some of it so he could feel the earth and open up some of his magick as he looked over at her. “Ready?” Waiting for her okay, he let his eyes close once he got it and promptly put out the intention to press pause - no wind, no stirrings, no movement outside of whatever it was she needed to do - just a hiccup of nothing.

She smiled at his enthusiasm. Magic weilders were always so wonderful. Sure there were a few unsavory fae and wizards and witches that she had the unfortunate luck to travel with but most magic weilders were wonderful, and the spells they create contain feelings and tingling, shimmers in the air that made her feel so very much alive.

The hand on her shoulder calmed her. She smiled as she looked up at him, taking his hand from her shoulder and giving it a squeeze of thanks before closing her eyes, she would need the concentration, not wanting him to expend more than what she asked for. When the ground from her feet stilled and it moved outwards - only her hair, her body created movements and the immediate breathing of the two bodies she visibly took a deep breath and sang.

A few notes, vocal chords ranging from the deepest of Contra-alto to soprano, the help of the silence mapping the area in lightning quick speed. Every stone, leaf, branch, ant, creating a vision in her eyes, almost as if it painted. It was rare that she see such a detailed picture.

Nadeia held the tone for a few seconds, needing no breather as she stretched her voice outwards on all possible directions. Slowly her voice changed, not anymore the melodious tone of a practicing opera singer but a low thrumm of a sad song. The crescendo and exuberance of magick and beauty descending to an emptiness, whatever there was early on slowly lulled into nothing as her emotions rode on the tones. The tear in her cheek from frustration was not the most apparent feature of sadness, but the tone of her song - what once was filled with purity and strength turned into a lowful melody of stories and memories of what was now lost.

As she ended, even the wolves started to howl in the distance, and the birds chirped a sad song, echoing her feelings. Slowly she turned towards the enchanter. "Thank you!" she smiled brightly, her mouth turned up, grateful even though her eyes- brimming with unshed tears turned downwards. She quickly shook her head and took the enchanter's hands in her own.

"Thank you so much for your magick, enchanter. It was beautiful." It was fascinating. She had never seen such a clear picture and it was beautiful what his magic can do. But in the same way, she had lost something, something she could hopefully find one way or another.

"I'm Nadeia. It's pretty rude of me not to have introduced myself." she noted shyly, not used to introductions. Nadeia wasn't one for making too many connections or friends, but he had given her a peak at life and sight and even though she was strong despite her disability, there was a different kind of magic that eyes were able to give.

She shouldn’t smile easily at the revelation that so many years prior, Greta had been foolish enough to be deceived for so long. Yet, despite everything that had happened over the years, and everything that had occurred even before then, Greta couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips. In her final year of medical school, when she was significantly younger than her classmates, she’d worked under a Professor who specialized extensively in regenerative medicine, one of the man’s patients had been the woman who stood before Greta now.

As a student, Greta had been responsible for most of the man’s lab work, and as a result, she and Nadeia had come to know each other quite well. This was before Greta had truly learned to keep patient relations strictly professional, and for some time, she’d considered the woman to be a friend. One of her only friends at the time, if Greta was being honest.

At twenty-one years old Greta was significantly younger than her peers, six years younger on average. Yet, she was top of her class, and was not afraid to be vocal, this had never made her popular, but popularity had never been the goal.

“I am.” Greta said, the omission came as something that made her feel almost guilty, she wasn’t sure why. She was proud of the work they were doing, proud of everything that the GRF stood for, “regenerative medicine is currently leading the charge in medical innovation, but without sufficient results to back up these studies, too often they lose their funding… Unfortunately, for many investors, these innovations take longer to produce results than they like. Last I heard from Dr. Meier, he had retired, and he’d taken his work with him.”

Nadeia kept her composure, she removed the biases in her head that tampered with her relationship with Greta from before. She silenced the orders, the footsteps from the facility by the lake, the noise on the radio that was of Greta's voice. She focused on the now, and of the past, the past which was many years priors, decades even. Silencing everything in between.

Greta sounded, older - which was very much normal due to it had been years. But it also sounded, sadder, there was little feeling - so much less than of before. On another note, there was that hammer of confidence that never left. It always made Nadeia's heart flutter. How confident the other was. Wherein Nadeia would blindly work on herself and find wonder in many things and new surroundings, Greta always seemed to be one step forward.

"And is that what you are doing here? Regenerative medicine, finding ways how magicks can help you find your goal?" she asked this with no tone of resentment. The mer knew some of what has happened in the GRF, watched them from afar, felt the cries move until the lake had drowned them. Her tears for  them freely mixed with Faelias. She was never one for confrontation, disliking how it made her and others feel.

Nadeia stepped in closer, trying to channel a sort of confidence herself, there were many twisted roots of old, and so - with clarity that no blind human could possess, especially since she did not have a walking stick - Nadeia moved to a neaby gnarled root not so far from Greta to sit down. "That is unfortunate about Dr. Meier, younger minds could have shaped the findings more.” With a small sigh, she addressed the other woman “You might have questions with me Doctor." she smiled at her, mimicking the actions of old.

Nadeia remembered how before, how she met Greta, she would visit different students once a week, until she made it a point to actually use her Siren Song on Dr. Meier, in secret to let her be matched to Greta until they became a sort of team. Once a week, turned to two, and even three. She enjoyed chatting with the younger woman, finding her zeal with her chosen background infectious.