My Twisted Mind

How many times have we think about ourselves as “Useless”? How many times have we compared ourselves as someone less than everyone? 

It’s funny how moments can pass by so fast, so fast that you do not even see them coming and definitely you don’t even see them leaving. It’s funny how they can leave such a remarkable scar in you, even if that moment was like a shooting star, so bright and so beautiful... but everything was so damn fast that you are just waiting, looking up in the sky for another one to come, just so you can feel the same way again. 

It’s weird how you suffer so much with a beautiful moment, not because it hurts, but because it will when it’s over. It’s weird how people are waiting for those moments to come instead of looking for one. It’s weird how moments can make you cry, smile, laugh, they can make you angry, all at the same time. It’s weird how people pray either to live another beautiful moment or to forget about a terrible one. 

It’s amazing how our brain can only remember the bad ones. The good memories we have inside are like good people in the world. Just a few. I bet every single person can only remember no more than 20 good moments in their lives and I asure every single person can tell a 2 hours story about their bad ones. It’s so sad. 

It’s sad how people can only remember what they want, instead of what really happened. It’s sad how people can always ask for more and more without being satisfied and not appreciate what they already got. It’s sad how people once they reach their goals they get bored and want more instead of enjoying the thing they just win.

I want you to do something, i want you to imagine one perfect moment you have lived, imagine that moment in your life that made you feel nothing but joy and happiness, the moment in your life that was perfect, either would be in the arms of a loved one, or with a friend, or your family, or alone, it doesn’t matter just picture that moment. Now, from that moment, what did you learn?  People are used to learn from the mistakes, which isn’t wrong, but, they forget to learn from the good stuff as well. To be kind and honest with people, it doesn’t matter how bad they are. Moments makes you the person you’ve become, it’s up to you the ones that shapes who you are, the good ones or the bad ones. 

I’ve never understood the meaning, the real meaning of that word. Self-love.

A friend once told me that you could never love someone without loving yourself first, but I didn't understand it, because, back then I was so in love with a boy, I was so crazy about him that I couldn’t even see myself without loving him but I didn’t love myself, I didn’t like me, I would dare to say that I hated the person I was... So I said to her: Bullshit, I’ve never loved myself, but him... God, I love him so much that I forgot what hating myself felt like. She couldn’t say anything, dammit, she just stood there, thinking what she could say to me. But, she couldn’t. After that, I went with the boy I was in love with, we spend a lot of time together, we enjoyed us, we were happy, but we never said how in love we were about each other, we were always friends, just friends. I didn’t care tho, it was more than enough to me having him there, hear him laugh, tell him my adventures and hear him telling me his fights, his jokes. She was very wrong, of course it’s possible to love someone without loving yourself, and then something happened, something I didn’t see coming.

He left

What does be perfect means? Im gonna give you the definition of perfect:

- you cannot speak your mind, because for everyone (or at least most of people) you will be wrong.

- you need to have the perfect body, no stretch marks, no acne, no eye bags, no excessive make up, no messy hair.

-you need to know everything, so when people ask you something you can reply wisely, but, if you ever say something when no one asked you, then you are a know it all, so you just have to speak when people ask you to

- You can’t make a mistake... since you are “perfect” when you make one single mistake, everyone notice it, and all your work, everything you have been working on goes to hell, suddenly you are the worst person the world will ever have, suddenly your friends, family and people around you start telling you: you disappointed me... I wasn’t expecting that from you... you don’t even care, do you? (And deep inside you, you scream: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I CARE) but you don’t answer, because you are not supposed to.

That’s the price of being perfect, you will be perfect for everyone, but your life... your life will be everything but perfect, your life will be living hell, and it has to stop.

We need to understand that, the way we are is already the most perfect thing in this world, we need to know that, no matter what we do, no matter they way we think, or the way we look WE ARE ALREADY PERFECT, at least for ourselves and our love ones, if people doesn’t agree with it, fine, let them try to ripped you apart, they won’t make it, no if you don’t let them. WHO in this world cares about stretch marks? Or acne? What if you have an opinion no one agrees with? just say it, and say it loud. Being the way you are WILL make you PERFECT.