FuDaShi

i have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

rip critical reading born 12,000 years ago in mesopotamia died on twitter in 2013. :( rest easy king.

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

Ohh so that's why they called that one show Andor

Joan Didion, ladies & gentlemen

Extremely irksome as an autistic person to ask a clarifying question and be told you’re “splitting hairs” when you genuinely just don’t understand because there isn’t enough information. Like, buddy. This is me at my most basic level of “what do you mean by that.” You wanna see me split hairs? If you really saw how thin I could slice a hair you’d hurl

I will split a hair into smaller halves every hour my demands of mutual participation in communication are not met

even if your nervous system is shot to hell and you're a reactive dog on a chain all the time you can spend several years retraining your nervous system (with the help of friends to practice Disagreeing With) and one day you can reach a point where getting Disagreed With doesn't cause your whole entire bodybrain situation to implode messily. it's super great. I recommend it

I think the best thing about this is that it's really really really hard for ages and it feels like you're not making much progress. but then once you hit a certain point the benefits start to snowball because every time you're able to handle a situation without getting Activated, able to admit you were wrong with grace, able to reevaluate your ideas without getting defensive, able to deescalate interpersonal conflicts, you're building up this positive reinforcement history with those things and that makes those pathways in your brain get more deeply grooved and you start to associate opportunities to do those things with like, Learning New Stuff, or Connecting With People In New Ways, or even just That Interaction Went Better Than It Would Have Five Years Ago. and then the next time it happens it's that much less terrifying. and then in situations where despite your efforts it DOESN'T go well, that makes it easier to be like "well that's an anomaly and it seems like it's more about where the other person is at right now than it is about me" and not have it feel like EVIL FAILURE. it's like building a muscle but it's such a crucial muscle and so many other things really depend on it in terms of moving thru the world as a social animal. I think. like once you accept your status as Social Animal In Progress, Doing My Best and Willing To Change it takes so much pressure off. omg. it's such a game changer

the best fanfic is the one the author had fun writing actually.

the second best is the one the author used to work through some issues.

the third best is the one the author wrote out of spite due to some really dogshit discourse going on in their fandom