We all wear masks. Some better than others.

“Every Du Couteau I’ve ever met has only ever exuded pure Bottom energy.”

“ FUCKING EXCUSE YOU?!?”

"You’re just jealous because she looks good in leather pants and you don’t.”

“ I don’t need leather pants! Have you seen this body?! Have you seen this amazing rear?! Come on. You’re the one who is jealous.”

“Yes to everything but the jealousy. You don’t need pants in general, I’ve seen the body and the ass, when it existed, and I still prefer what I have now.”

"You’re just jealous because she looks good in leather pants and you don’t.”

“ I don’t need leather pants! Have you seen this body?! Have you seen this amazing rear?! Come on. You’re the one who is jealous.”

“Who let you out of your cage?”

" I’m not an animal to be locked up in a cage! Excuse you! I am a lady of class and elegance. And I’ll you know right now that I actually have a purpose for being here! I have a gift for you.”

“You’re right. Who let you out of your terrarium? I’m not taking any gifts from you. Your absence was gift enough.”

“Who let you out of your cage?”

" I’m not an animal to be locked up in a cage! Excuse you! I am a lady of class and elegance. And I’ll you know right now that I actually have a purpose for being here! I have a gift for you.”

“ It’s gay. Can’t you see the gay panic on her face?”

“Be quiet, you slithering belt…”

“ No. Listen, Riven, no self-respecting straight woman would *ever* comment on someone’s, and I quote, ‘ well-defined musculature’. Unless, however, they were gay. And you, Riven, are gay. You have reached a different plane of being you are so gay. Rainbows look at you with ENVY you are so gay!”

“ It’s gay. Can’t you see the gay panic on her face?”

“ Aww look @heroesgohungry ! It’s you!”

“ Huh.. odd. I don’t see a knife in my throat… but at LEAST I have some common sense enough to tell you to get out of my desert.”

“All the money in Noxus wouldn’t make Shurima your desert.”

“ That’s… that’s adorable if you think I would go about getting this sandbox through legitimate means! Cute. It’s cute.”

“Unless you’ve sunk your claws into Azir, you’ve got a lot of work trying to rope up the tribe leaders, buy out every village you see, quay the raiders who won’t listen to an outsider anyway, and so on.”

“ Aaah, Hmm that is a lot of work to do. You know, I wouldn’t imagine you, of all people, would give me pointers? It’s an odd world really, but I suppose I’m not complaining.” She smirked wickedly, letting those pearl white fangs show.

“ Huh.. odd. I don’t see a knife in my throat… but at LEAST I have some common sense enough to tell you to get out of my desert.”

“All the money in Noxus wouldn’t make Shurima your desert.”

“ That’s... that’s adorable if you think I would go about getting this sandbox through legitimate means! Cute. It’s cute.”

“ Huh.. odd. I don’t see a knife in my throat... but at LEAST I have some common sense enough to tell you to get out of my desert.”

“ Feeling cute. Fighting the lord of death in his own domain later. IDK.” 

#snakey snakes and Other Things That Ruined My Life: An Autobiography by mythic-cassiopeia

“ I’m in this post. And I don’t like it.”