What Could Go Wrong?

This is like the opposite of clickbait.  The whole story is there.  Behold it.

they don’t make news like they used to, and by they i mean turtles

Do Mitch next

every time i sit down 2 watch a horror movie i think of that one tweet :/

We know that Facebook is brainscorching your parents and tiktok is brainscorching your cousins, but some of you refuse to admit that you got your brain scorched here. However unlike those sites there isn't an algorithm here you just make bad choices.

yesterday i listened to a podcast stephanie allynne was on and she said at one point before they started dating she wrote tig this long email pouring her heart out about how she really liked her but they couldn’t date because she was straight and tig just replied ‘okay dyke’ and i’m still screaming about it

TUMBLR IS SHOWING ME GERMAN VIAGRA ADS

Oh Mein gott zis dashboard ist full of erectilendisfünctiönen

we slidin

At that point he’s a passenger too

turns on aim assist and its just a guy pointing at the enemies going "there! there! shoot those guys!"

turns on aim assist and a better gamer materializes in my house to guide my hands like that scene in ghost

I have made a lot of bad jokes but this is still probably my greatest hit

you want your city to be walkable and bikeable? what's next? suckable? fuckable?