Dil♥!!

Trinnnggg~ 

“I'm awake! First day of the academy.” You babbled in sleep.

Trinnnggg~ 

Your sleep was flushed away at the second ring. “First day!” You woke up enthusiastically, getting your full 9 hours of beauty, brain, and health sleep. You took your time to shower and get ready before taking out the uniform Seojoon had dropped off yesterday. 

~

“Sejeong had grabbed all the stuff you’ll need,” Seojoon said, handing you two boxes. One was a huge box containing equipment, the academy’s briefcase, black Mary Janes, long white socks, a full uniform set with the option of both long sleeve and half sleeve, PE clothing items, as well as some hair bands and cute hair clips Jeongie bought herself with an attached note saying,

'It’ll add some color to your stone face.'

Which…

You’d never wear.

The other box was smaller but much heavier, containing all the subject books. Seojoon placed it on top of the other in your hands. You stumbled, letting out a little groan, not expecting the weight.

“I guess, you’ll manage on your own?” Seojoon suggested with a shitty grin, already predicting you. He took the chance to pat your head since you weren’t able to fight due to holding the big boys. You gaped at his bravery before shaking your head away in protest.

“Just wait… till you come back again.” You threatened in an eerily calm tone, which caused his eyes to widen. Holding his hands up in the air in a defensive manner.

Always works.

~

The uniform was so much better than your old one. Then, it was just a simple black skirt and a half-sleeve shirt, while here is a whole set. Shirt, skirt, tie, blazer with Will’s logo, socks, and shoes. There were even cardigans of the academy and winter clothing items, like stockings, vests, or coats.

“Woo~!”

You sang to yourself while getting dressed in the bathroom. The bathroom was so huge that you could have a whole dance and singing session to yourself here, and so you did.

“Do you remember, girl?... On the phone, you and me!... Do you? Do you, do you, do you, do you.”

“What about, what about? Brrt-ahh da-da da brrt-da ba d-”

Just as you were having the time of your life at the post-chorus, a loud thump came from the wall on the right. You froze in the position, glancing at your watch.

‘06:30’

...right

You put the uniform on properly. Tying your hair up into a high ponytail and adding a black ribbon, the one thing from Jeongie you'd definitely get to use. It's the most convenient way when studying. Letting it down only gets in the way, and it becomes annoying and distracting. Plus, you’re walking, and you wouldn’t want to have a jungle on your head by the time you reach the academy because of the wind playing with your head.

You brushed your clothes when you were done. You weren't prepared to look at yourself in the mirror. And when you took yourself in, you simply stared.

“Vaein Lilith, student of WILL.” You shook your head in disbelief. Giving yourself one last look before grabbing the academy bag. And made your way out of your new home, which hadn't made you feel that way yet.

The stares you were getting from the residents today were completely different, and it added to your confidence as you strode past them to the reception table.

Liz was no different, shamelessly checking you out. “Ready for the first day, huh?” You nodded proudly, brushing your shoulders arrogantly, mocking the grumpy man who lives here. She gave you a light push with a snort, signaling you that he’s sitting in his usual seat with a cigar and a newspaper.

You thanked Liz as she wished you a great day before heading off to the academy. Your feet haven't touched past your room ever since the mall visit. Only watching the city view from the balcony because you're still a wimp.

No, you’re not. It isn't wrong to care about safety, right?

Too much?

Okay, fine, you are a coward, but also because you’re too homesick to want to go anywhere other than being cooped up in your cozy princess chamber.

Thus, you're taking in the beautiful city now.

A lot of people were on foot, which was something you didn’t quite expect. In the city, you thought everyone would travel by engine-driven devices. But literally, who wouldn’t? When there are these scenes straight out of a movie right in front of them. Some were even biking. Letting the wind whip past them refreshingly. 

You know what else was refreshing? The smell of bakeries.

After a moment, you saw the source. A cute shop, which gave you the realization that you've completely forgotten about breakfast from the thrill.

‘One Day at a Time’ 

The thoughtful name pulled you in. Even the door chime sounded so calming. The interior wasn’t too luxurious, giving it a rather cozy environment. As you stepped in, you were hazed by the homelike smell of fresh bakeries and breakfast. It was quiet, with only two tables taken. An aged lady stood behind the counter, placing some blueberry muffins on the plate. She put them down as you walked in closer.

“What can I get for you, dear?” She asked sweetly, wiping her hands on the apron. There were many options for you to choose from. From mouth-watering pastries to stomach rumbling bakeries, it was a hard decision.

The lady watched with a fond smile at your glowing eyes. When you finally made up your mind, you settled on, “One egg tart & a chocolate drink, please.”

“Coming right up!” She pointed her finger up in the air, going to grab the chocolate pot.

“First day?” She asked, seeing your straight stance, hands grasped in front too politely. At the mention of the academy, you started fidgeting. “Yes, ma’am..Miss..Mrs?” You frowned slightly, not knowing how to refer to her.

Chuckling cutely, she poured the chocolate into a cup before closing the lid and placing it on the counter for you. She wiped her hands before extending them to you. “Margaret Smith. Just call me Maggie.”

You didn’t waste a second, taking hers lightly with both your hands. “Lilith, Lilith Vaein.”

“Lilith, what a unique name. Anyways, no need to worry about anything, everything will go well, hmm?” Mrs. Smith encouraged with a pat on your arms. The sentence reminded you of your home.

Everything will be fine.

Oh, how simple the sentence was, but that was all you needed. Reassuring words. It was something you'd never expected to hear from anyone other than Mum. But now, hearing it from an aged lady, somewhere far from your home, it gave you an odd feeling.

She took the tart and adjusted it in a packet before placing it in front of you.

“Thank you, Mrs. Smith.”

“Oh, don’t be all formal with me. I already said, just call me Maggie.” She waved her hands in disapproval. “It just makes me feel young.” She clarified, adjusting her hair elegantly.

A smile ghosted your lips at her cuteness.

When you were about to put the coins on the counter to pay, she grabbed your hand. All your movements halted as the sensation jittered your mind.

“First orders are on the house for the new customers.” She then let go, unaware of the effect the contact had on you. The tingling didn't leave, and you looked at her, unsure of the offer.

But Maggie nodded with a smile.

“You're very kind, Maggie.”

“This is Haven, everyone's kind. Plus, I do believe we'll meet more often from now on.”

You hesitantly put your coins back in your pouch before taking a sip from the cup. The sweetness of the chocolate drink touched your tongue, coating your sensations with warmth. The flavour was new, and it was not the familiar one. It was different from the usual school mornings when Mom would make sure your senses were completely awakened before going to school. The excessive sweetness did the opposite.

Maggie seemed to have noticed the twitch in your expression. “Is the flavour not to your liking?”

You forced yourself to take another sip. “It's fine, thank you.”

You continued your way with a totally new feeling. Other than the new flavour. Your heart felt light for the first time since you've been away from home.

A sweet old soul..with eyes full of warmth and a smile that kills storms.

Maybe you will be meeting her more often.

You walked through a park, which was on your way as well. Some people were exercising, some were walking their dogs, or simply just sitting and enjoying the fresh air and peacefulness of the morning. After passing through the trees, the other side was a whole different environment. There were fewer buildings and shops on this side, but rather more trees on the sidewalk along with Haven’s canal throughout the way.

By the time you reached the Academy, fringes of hair and some strands were already out of the ponytail, falling finely to your face.

You stood still on the other side of the road. In front of you was a scene finer than you've seen on the screen. WILL's logo staring back at you. You had to pinch yourself to see if it was really real, and not just your imagination.

Are you really out and away from there? What if this place is the same? You pinched the back of your hands harder to stop yourself from overthinking.

Everything will go well. You repeated Maggie’s words in your head.

Some council students and teachers were standing at the open gate, welcoming students on their first day. It was buzzing, students getting out of their fancy cars, running to hug their friends, some dreading, and some enthusiastic.

You were observing the scene in front of you, not realizing that the light on the crosswalk had turned green. The bumps on your shoulder by the students who walked past you to cross the street brought your senses back. You clutched onto your bag straps before heading towards the gates.

You gave the teachers respective bows before going in, getting awestruck right away by the interior. The leather itched into your hands as you tried to contain your feelings.

Is this an academy, not a castle or a historical place?

There were only a few students with the perfect attire like you. Most didn’t wear the blazer, only the shirt inside, which is understandable because of the season. Some wore the academy’s cardigan or the woolen vest instead of the blazer, and some didn't even care to wear the tie.

Even inside the academy, everyone is stylish with their colored hair and different hairstyles, even accessorizing themselves with necklaces or earrings. Elevating their uniforms in their own styles.

And the weirdest thing is that the teachers didn’t seem to care one bit about all this. Aren't the rules of a prestigious academy supposed to be strict?

But if you really think about it, you guess it’s fine to let everyone have their freedom and do their own things, as long as it doesn’t affect their studies.

As expected, top-ranking academies sure do have different approaches. You sighed deeply. But the issue is, even with the most formal and graceful attire, you’re still the odd one out.

Great.

“1st years assemble here on the side, please! 7th years at The Central Hall, and 12th years at The Great Hall!” One of the teachers announced from the gate.

Young students started running around everywhere like minions at the teacher's instruction.

The Great Hall. You need to go to The Great Hall, but how the hell will you know where it is? Not knowing which direction to go, you stopped on the track without thinking. And that was the biggest mistake because someone from behind bumped into you, sending you forward from the force.

“The hell?” The voice uttered.

Your mind went blank, arms coming forward instinctively to shield yourself, and eyes squeezed shut, ready to accept your fate.

But somehow…

You didn’t move further.

You peered through one eye in perplexity. Then you were pulled back straight by your bag. Mother Nature has sent a hand to help you again.

Tensed from what just happened, you sighed in relief before closing your eyes to mentally slap yourself. You almost stumbled as you felt the weight of your bag again from the let go, before you slowly turned around on your feet to face the consequences of your action.

4

3

2

1

“You?!” 

You two exclaimed at the same time.

“You,” The word repeated, fingers pointing at each other with a frown, mirroring each other.

“You’re the bookstore asshole.”

Minho was dumbstruck to hear a name that had never been referred to him before, raising his brows at your words. “Am I?” He gave you a tilt of his head and a cocky expression, putting his hands back into his pockets while looking down at you. “What are you doing here?” He questioned. Eyes raking you from head to toe, just like at the bookstore.

How shameless.

One side of your upper lip curled up at the dumb question. 

You ignored it, not complying with answering him, turning side to side before looking back at him. Should you ask this guy?

“Do you know where The Great Hall is?” You asked in a composed and ground-level tone of your voice.

The Great Hall? Minho thought.

You were dressed…different. You just moved here. He has never seen you before. You’re asking for The Great Hall, which means you’re a new 12th grader. Are you…?

No, that's not possible.

He was staring blankly, not replying, which made you feel somehow uneasy. You raised a brow at him. “Hello?” He blinked back from his thought. He glanced at something behind you and then back at you once again.

“Did you not hear m-” And before you could finish your sentence, he walked past you.

…

You stood there puzzled.

Turning around, you glared at his back. Did he just ignore your question like you did to his? Should have expected that. Some students around your age were also walking that way, so you let your eyes follow them, and then you saw it.

Oh

A sign on the lamp post with ‘The Great Hall’ written and pointing in the direction.

You closed your eyes and slapped yourself mentally.

Lilith Vain, you complete nincompoop. Go on, keep making a fool out of yourself, and literally just arrived.

Everything will go well. You repeated in your head sarcastically.

Of course, if it wasn’t for this arrogant boy, you would’ve had a great fall 2 times. Let’s say you are…a bit thankful, but also, what is wrong with him? You scoffed out, starting to make your way in that direction to The Great Hall. The distance between you two was huge, but you could still see him. “You must think you’re so cool~ with your hands in the pockets and bag hung on one side, huh?” You mocked him under your breath. You couldn’t even think of any real insults. He was in perfect uniform, like you, which was really odd compared to the first time you saw him, and wished to never see him again, in annoyance.

Are you seriously going to the same school and the same grade as this boy?

“Who?”

You flinched at the sudden voice near your ear. Hands flying up instinctively in defense, which caused you to accidentally punch the boy in the face.

“Ah!”

Your eyes widened as he held his face. You cringed, looking at the boy’s face. “Sorry,” your voice was just above a whisper, full of concern. “You okay?”

He sighed deeply before looking back up at you with a pained expression. Your concerned expression worsened, biting your lips. After getting a satisfying reaction out of you, he removed his hand from his face and chuckled. He rubbed his nose. It was slightly painful, not as much as he acted.

“I'm fine...Drama club?” He said proudly.

The emotion fell out of your face. “What?”

“Drama club.” He repeated, obviously. It was an act? Your face turned back to normal. Sighing with bored eyes, you turned to continue your way. “Then you deserved that slap.” You mumbled.

You heard a gasp from behind you before he exclaimed, “Hey!”

The giant didn't leave. Now, coming to walk backwards in front of you. “Come on~ it was just a joke.” He said, looking at your resting face. You didn’t look at him as you replied. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Then why are you mad?” You shifted your eyes to him, which made him stare with big eyes at you, as if you were about to hit him again.

“It’s my face.”

“…Ah.” He scratched his head awkwardly with a giggle. 

He turned to walk normally beside you, peeking at your side profile as you observed the academy as if you’d never seen it before. He didn’t want to interrupt, but he couldn’t recall who you were. And there’s just no way he’d forget someone with such a distinguished face.

He cleared his throat to get your attention before speaking. “I’m Yunho, Jeong Yunho.” He introduced himself with a friendly smile and his hand out. You glanced at his long, slender fingers. 

A handshake?

You could do that. It's fine, nothing...bad. Just a simple handshake, it’d be rude not to, so pushing aside your dislike, you took his hands. “Lilith.” You introduced simply, shaking his hands before quickly letting go.

Yunho resisted a grin, thinking that you must be mesmerized and flustered by his beautiful hands like everyone else.

“Lilith~” He tested out your name, playfully. “Why the heck were you talking to that guy?” Yunho asked curiously but also amusedly. 

~

When Yunho walked through the gate, the first thing he saw was this unfamiliar girl saying something to Minho. Minho had his back on him, but still, Yunho recognized him right away from knowing each other for a long time, and Minho's usual confident stance and his hands that just don’t seem to come out of his pants pocket.

Why would someone even approach Minho? Yunho thought.

And he wasn’t surprised at all when Minho just walked past you without saying anything back. He saw you standing still.

Yunho decided to walk up to you since you seemed confused by Minho’s behavior. And he did hear your little mockery.

~

You let out a huff, thinking back to the interaction before replying in a serene tone, but also laced with annoyance. “I just asked where The Great Hall is, and the guy just walked away.” Your upper lip curled a little. “What is that guy’s problem?” Too egotistic to answer one harmless question? Ok, but to be honest, you wouldn’t answer that stupid question either if the direction was right freaking there.

Yunho let out a breath of laughter. “Yeah, he’s like that.”

//

Reaching The Great Hall, it was chaos from all the 12th years running around and interacting with each other lively, which isn’t the environment you expected at all from a high-class society. You thought everyone would be sitting properly and silently, all tense and serious.

I mean, that’s what you saw in films, so it’s not your fault to assume that, right?

Guess young people are all the same.

Chairs were arranged into rows for everyone. You took a seat in the middle row with Yunho and put your bags on the floor beside your feet. The fingers on your lap tapped nervously.

Finally, Yunho thought, turning to you to open a conversation. He let you look around earlier, not speaking further, but he couldn’t help but be curious about you since at least he should've seen you at their parents' business events, and you didn’t even tell him your last name, which is uncommon. 

But before Yunho could even start, a whistle was blown. Followed by everyone settling down, and the hall went quiet as a big, scary-looking man came to the podium.

“Good morning, students.” Said the mafia leader. “I’d like to officially welcome year 12th's to the first day of Will, Welcome!” Cheers and claps erupted through the hall. You clapped as well, but lightly. Everyone looked so enthusiastic for the first day, just…like you.

Lilith is excited. She's just very skilled at hiding it. And to be honest, she looks richer than any of these students…by manner, of course.

“I’m Principal Dongseok, which you know already.” You do, you recognized him right away from his scary looks and his big…huge...body. He has been looking after this marvelous academy for more than 20 years now. The principal everybody knows for his bo-uhh, his…smartness. Yes! His witty ways of developing this academy and maintaining its title and position at the top.

“To start your year at Will properly, first, we need to assign you all to your specific classes. Your main class teachers will be confirming your names, so listen carefully. Starting from Class 12/1, Miss Kim?”

Miss Kim…damn. (Sorry, writer got carried away.)

She was in a half-sleeve grey suit set with her natural black hair down with a side part and rectangular frame glasses. You couldn’t tell how old she was, but she must be young.

Miss Kim bowed respectfully to Principal Dongseok before taking over the podium, and Principal Dongseok smiled in return. Your lips puckered slightly with a frown. Are you even seeing this right? Seeing your reaction, Yunho covered his mouth to contain his giggle. “He’s not how he looks,” Yunho leaned closer to whisper.

“Hello, students, I’m Miss Jennie Kim, the main teacher of ‘King’ class.” She spoke into the mic, and even her voice sounded elegant.

“Starting from student number 1, Park Seonghwa, 2 Kim Hongjoong, 3 Jeong Yunho…”

Yunho?

You glanced at him, surprised to hear his name in the ‘King’ class. 

“…Kang Yeosang, Choi San, Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung, Choi Jongho, Bang Chan, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung, Lee Yongbok, Kim Seungmin, Yang Jeongin…”

Yunho did see you glancing at him from the side, but pretended not to. Controlling his shy smile that was threatening to erupt. It fed into his ego even more to get acknowledged by the new girl as well. 

Yunho has always loved the attention he gets from girls and boys in the academy and outside. Everybody knows how crazy people in this academy get for the ‘Kings.’ Squealing and giggling with each other whenever they pass by. They especially like Yunho because of his friendliness and how he responds to them with a charming, heart-stopping smile.

Even at this moment right now, he can hear the girls behind him whispering things to each other. “Oh my god, Milly. Why is Yunho sitting here?” “How the fuck will I know that?” “And who’s that girl?” “Have you seen her before?”

Some of his friends hate the attention, though, like Yeosang and Jongho from his group or Minho and Seungmin from SKZ.

“…Hwang Yeji, Choi Jisu, Shin Ryujin, Lee Chaeryeong, Shin Yuna, Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu, Kang Taehyun, Huening Kai, and lastly…

Vaein Lilith.

And that’s the students of King class.”

Yunho, who was sitting relaxingly in his seat, straightened up immediately, whipping his head to you.

“How are you in the King class?” Yunho asked bewilderedly. You blinked at his sudden demeanor change before your eyes sharpened and narrowed.

Is he looking down on you?

Yunho's eyes widened as he realized what he had said, quickly clearing himself. “Uhh...No! I didn’t mean it like that…It’s just…” He stared at you with a slight frown, scratching his neck before pointing at you. “…Never mind.” He dismissed himself, turning back to the stage with a thoughtful look on his face.

You turned back to the stage as well.

What was that? You thought. Do I look that dumb? I hope not. You side-eyed Yunho. How dare this giant?

The other main teachers continued until everyone got their classes confirmed. After the teachers finished, Principal Dongseok took the mic again.

“Thank you, Teachers. Lastly, before you all go to your classes with your main teachers, I’d like to make an honorable announcement…This year, we have two students who have accomplished such impressive scores…our academy has not seen for years.” He announced proudly.

“Please give it up for our first ranking student…Lee Minho!” The hall echoed as everyone clapped their hands with loud cheering for the Lee Minho guy.

Before you could take a look at the guy, the Principal continued. “And the second highest ranking is…”

“Vaein Lilith!” All the cheering quieted down in a split second and the hall broke into murmurs instead. Everyone started glancing from side to side to find who this Lilith person they’d never heard the name before was.

Lilith?

That’s…you.

Your stomach dropped, and you were stunned in your place. You’ve won a lot of awards, that is for sure, but this…th-this is different. You came back when Yunho shook you from the side. “Lilith? Lilith, go!” He said excitedly, pushing you up.

Yunho was so surprised to hear your name again, but now it made a little more sense.

You got up from your seat, ears clogging as everyone's attention turned to you in a millisecond. Flashbacks and voices played in your head. You could hear your heart thumping inside like echoes.

You didn’t even get to enjoy your day properly yet, and it’ll all be over soon. Will they start giving you looks? Or throw stuff your way? Will they start spitting names at yo- 

To say shock was an understatement because you were beyond taken aback as everyone started cheering and applauding very loudly.

For you?

Yunho pushed you lightly to walk, so you swallowed before holding your head down while walking past the students in your row. 

A positive reaction to your achievements? Is this all a big, fat joke?

The cheers and claps were muffled.

Surprise, we were just kidding, like always, to get a reaction out of you. Awee, you trusted me. Are you serious? She still believed it after we’d already done this so many times. Bunny, this shows how stupid you are. Always acting like you know it all. Ma’am, this is wrong, that is wrong, you didn't do this right. blah blah blah. Just shut the fuck up, ain't no one cares. You piss everyone off so fucking bad, you know that? Oh, so sorry. You probably couldn't even figure that out from this little brain of yours, eh?

They tore all the new books Mom and Dad bought for you on your birthday. Reading your lyrics out loud and laughing at them before throwing them with your other stuff into the mud. They kicked the already shambled and mud-coated books into the wall of the building's back. You cried and begged for them to stop, but your cries were muffled as one of them closed your mouth harshly to not let anyone hear you and held you still. Giving you one last push into the ground before walking away while laughing with each other. You sat up, brushing the wet, dirty mud off yourself, even if it didn't help anything, while crying and crying. You despised yourself so much for not being able to do anything about all of it. You still despise your old self. In frustration and rage, you scratched and clawed your arms psychotically, leaving yourself bleeding and in pain both mentally and physically.

Later, the forearm wounds recovered, but you kept digging your nails into your upper arms whenever you attempted to suppress your emotions, opening the wounds again and again, giving them no time to heal until now, they’ve become scars that’ll stay with you forever.

You suppressed your feelings and all the emotions to not give them the satisfaction, and that made them do much worse things, but you restrained it all.

Deep breath, Lith, deep breath. The row didn’t seem to end, and you were afraid you’d faint before reaching the end. When you finally reached the clear way in the middle of the hall, you looked up to see the arrogant boy. You were in a daze, blinking slowly.

Why is he here?

His face was inscrutable as he eyed you. It could be because of the state your mind was in, which made you unable to read his expression or even care to think why he was in front of you. Your eyes left his before you turned and walked up to the stage.

The voices replayed like a broken tape. You tried to get rid of it, as always, by focusing on the mouths of the students. The tint of cheering found its way into your ears as quietly as the winds.

You bowed to Principal Dongseok, who smiled at you proudly and put the medal around your neck. The voices fainted as you received the beautiful silver medal. A compass, symbol of Will, carved in deep detail, and ‘Pride of Will’ engraved in a beautiful cursive.

You took the Principal's hand. “Congratulations, Miss Vaein. Glad to finally meet you. Welcome to Will Academy.” You nodded firmly. “Thank you, sir.”

You stepped back to let the other person receive the medal. Then you realized and became aware as you watched the bookstore boy receive a similar medal, but in gold. You tried to make sense of the scene.

The first-ranking student is… 

Lee Minho.

Minho, the bad boy-looking guy with his black leather jacket, whom you looked down on. Minho, the asshole that took the book you grabbed first at the bookstore. Minho, the bastard who winked at you after paying for the book you took first. Minho, the arrogant ass that didn’t answer your stupid question of where The Great Hall is.

He is the first rank that you...lost to?

You lost to...

Lost

“And congratulations to you too, again,” Principal said to Minho, patting his back, but from his power, it looked more like a push, causing Minho to stumble slightly.

The photographer came into position in front. “Principal Dongseok in the middle, please.”

You kept your distance from Minho, but then Principal moved to the back, putting his hands around your shoulders, and you two were forced to stand close next to each other. Your clothed shoulders and arms were pressed together, and your hands touched, sending an electric shock through both of you. You quickly seized your hand, pressing it into your side.

“You two are the real pride, I’m just the supporter,” Principal Dongseok stated proudly from the back, putting you two together in front of him.

“3..2..1 smile!”

Chk Chk

Oh, Minho sure did, and very proudly.

“Keep up with the good work,” Principal Dongseok congrats you two again. He pulled a fist up, making you flinch, but then he smiled cutely with a “Fighting.” Before turning to everyone else in the hall. 

“Dismissed!”

Minho looked down to hide his smile as your shoulders relaxed.

You took the medal off your neck, holding it in your hand and looking down at it while walking down the stage stairs. Your first-ever award from Will, you’d place it on the empty shelf in your new room for sure, even if it’s…ss...se, it’s sec…A sigh left you. The disappointment was felt deeply.

It could have been anyone else, and it’d be less humiliating. If you knew this would happen, you would have taken the test seriously.

Suddenly, you got pulled back by your arm, making you tense up. You looked up, away from the medal in your hand, to see crowds of students rushing around everywhere, pushing slightly on each other, trying to find their way to their main teachers.

You took another quick step back as one student rushed past your front from the side, almost bumping into you. But it made your back press into the hard surface instead.

You held your breath, eyes widening. You looked down at the hand that was still holding your arm. Minho then let go. You moved away quickly to keep your distance. You didn't have to look back to know who the veiny hands belonged to.

Minho watched as you quickened your steps, giving yourself a knock on the head before disappearing into the crowd of students. He isn’t wrong to think you’re stupid, and he also isn’t wrong to doubt you are Vaein Lilith, the scholar. He was taken aback himself to see you standing up when the Principal announced the 2nd place.

His predictions were right, like always, but seriously, you, the trolley girl?

Minho was at the train station to receive his friends, Chan and Felix, who live in another city but study here in Haven. He was returning to his car, and he thanked god that he saw you just in time. Or you probably wouldn't be here today.

//

The seconds felt like hours as Lilith pushed through the crowd. The contacts, making it more and more suffocating. The flashback from earlier, followed by this environment. Her throat was tightening. Her breathing was blocking itself, not letting air in or out, and the world was starting to spin.

Almost there, almost. You repeated to yourself, and thankfully, just in time, tears pricked behind your eyes. You were out in the clearing area. And the air finally found its way desperately into your lungs. You breathed in and out deeply. Tapping your fingers on your legs in rhythm for yourself to follow.

You knocked your head hard, exhaling an ouch. Followed quickly by rubbing the spot from the pain, as it brought your senses back. With a shake of your head to get rid of the pictures, you distracted yourself by searching for your bag instead. However, when looking at the previous seat you and Yunho were in, both your bag and Yunho were gone. Leaving you standing alone in the crowd of strangers.

After a moment, you felt a poke on your shoulder.

One day, you were playing badminton with Mom and Dad. The next, you were strolling around Woodland, carving everything into the stone of your mind and pocketing it into your diary. From the song of each bird chirping to their appearance. The smell of the earth and the serenity that bloomed through one's soul.

You'll doubtlessly miss everything.

The rough surface of the big old oak beneath your skin. Her immense presence makes it seem like she's the mother and the main life of Woodland. One who has been living long before you arrived on this planet, and has been growing even more alongside you, and will continue to grow on without you, a temporary friend by her side. You held onto her, sensing the life being.

“Dear Woodland, thank you for being my friend.”

The response was not a haunting voice of a human, but the breeze brushing the leaves, the beautiful songs of each bird, and the movement of the earth to her talk. The awareness of being alive in the middle of all these other living beings.

You paint it into your mind.

Even the day you got sick from going against Mom and jumped in the icy cold water beyond the cliff, and then, as expected, stuck in bed for the next week. Even if you despised feeling so helpless and weak, at least you got Mom's hot cocoa and various delicious soups. You kept yourself as present as possible to not miss any single detail of the summer, things were about to change.

Like a wish blown on a dandelion, time flew by along with the wind. And the day you wished you could delay forever, arrived. Luggage in both hands, bags on both shoulders, baggage beside your feet outside the door of your house

...With your mouth hanging open.

In the midst of the dark street of your neighbourhood, with the only source of sound being the crickets, and the source of light being the golden glow from the few lamp posts along the night street and the moon.

There stood a car.

Aunt Jeongie sent you a car, and it’s most disrespectful to not know its name. The car you've only seen in films. A dark navy-coloured Bentley Brookland that even the darkness couldn't restrain its shine. And mind you, this is just to get you to the railway station.

A smart guy in his late 30s with a proper suit and tie. His hair, styled in an elegantly slick back, came out of the driver's seat. You could almost feel an aura around him.

The guy bowed to you and Mom, who had her mouth gaped even wider than yours. Before greeting, he flashed a charming smile. “Good morning, ma’am. I’m Park Seo-Joon, and I’m assigned to take care of Miss Vaein.” Seojoon introduced himself, holding his hand out. Mom blinked as you nudged her to take his hand. You just know wherever Dad is, he's glaring holes into this Park Seojoon guy. Mom was about to take his hand when.

“Take care of Miss Who?”

All your heads snapped to the house opposite yours, where the sound interrupted the eerily calm night, and it could only be one person. The person you wanted to avoid the most. The reason you chose this departure time.

The nosy old lady's door opened as your eyes widened. Quickly, you checked your watch. It’s still 5 in the morning. Most people are usually asleep at this hour in this town. You specifically chose the time, so the attention isn't on you.

In this small town, everyone knows everything about everyone. Yes, everything about everyone, and Lilith was no exception. The half-truth rumours she, herself, wishes she could forget get brought up every time by these simple-minded townspeople. Just how could someone talk about the things that broke a little girl so openly and casually? The pity looks her way only weakened the little one's fragile mind.

Don't ask if Mom and Dad ever did anything about it. They did everything. From asking and talking to begging them like vagrants. Yet, the damage was already done. Yes, with time, the talks have lessened a lot, but it hasn't disappeared completely.

And guess who is the biggest news reporter in this town? Absolutely correct, Mrs. Nosy Rosy, who is now crossing the street from the opposite house faster than she listened to your suggestion on getting her joints checked by the doctor. You predicted osteoarthritis, a common disease among elders, from an early stage. Which appears with a mild pain in the knees when moving, stiffness after sitting for a long time, weak thighs, et cetera et cetera. She did it in the end, though, after her condition worsened and surgery was needed.

But now, after months and months of keeping the news as close and secret as possible, planning to leave quietly, it's all doomed.

“ARGHHHHHH!!”

You wish you could scream out.

“Told you, she’ll find out,” Dad spoke in a low tone from behind the door as Mom exhaled from beside you. “Here comes the investigator,” she mumbled before putting on a friendly face. You hate when she does that, but she said, “We don’t know when the time to need help comes.” As if you will ever ask these people for their help, and as if they could help with anything at all.

Seojoon glanced between Nosy and you three. “Miss Vaein?” He answered hesitantly, unsure of what was going on. “I’m here to escort her to Ha-” You eyed him widely in panic.

“Ha Ha….HAHAHAHA”

Huh?

Mom seemed to have understood his act, also starting to laugh along with Seojoon, still attempting to hide it. She signaled you with her eyes to laugh along, so you did. “Hahahahaha” in a monotone.

Nosy looked at you three weirdly. “Ha?” A thoughtful look came on her face. You prayed for once that her Sherlock skills don't operate at 5 in the morning. But the lightbulb on her head lit up. “Haven?” This time, a real laugh left you in absurd.

You pushed your hair back to control the rising temperature in your body. There’s no use keeping it now. If she doesn’t get the answer, she’ll bother Mom after you’re gone.

“I’m moving.”

They all turned to you as you spoke in your calm yet set tone. “Far away from here.” “To Haven? Why?” Your eyes shifted to the old lady, who had an innocent look on, as though she were completely unaware of all the incidents.

“How will your parents manage all the payments? And a girl moving alone to live a lavish life. Do you hear how that sounds? While your parents stay behind to work even harder for you. Have you thought of the burden you're putti-”

“Enough!”

Dad declared from behind you, startling all of you, including Nosy. He placed a hand on your shoulder, grounding you from her statements. “You’ve said enough, Mrs. Rose.” Dad, being the person who never speaks, uttering stunned her.

The loud sound through the quiet night caused the lights of many houses to come on. You tensed up but could only stand still as your heart picked up its pace. The townspeople peeked out of their houses to see what was happening.

It’s over, it's all over.

“What is going on?” “Is everything ok here?” “Who is this?”

Your mind recoiled, like a turtle hiding back into its shell. From one person to flickers of houselight opening. From the expected peaceful departure to being surrounded by eyes. From melodic cricket sounds to questions thrown. The events of the past played all too real, turning your mind like a gear, bringing back the rigid posture and blankness.

Nosy smoothed her nightgown, straightening up. “Very well, I was just being concerned about my people.” “Putting your feet in everyone’s business is not called being concerned.” Dad retorted, taking Nosy aback and confusing the villagers.

“Miss, we’ll be late for our train.” Seojoon, who was the most baffled one, spoke in almost a whisper, seeing your straight expression, yet your jaws were tightened.

“Train?” “Who’s going where?” “What is all this stuff?”

Mom gave him an apologetic smile before gently putting her hand on your back. You shuddered slightly, turning to your mother. She didn't even get to properly grasp that she was about to... leave.

“You have to get going now, honey.”

“Where’s Lilith going?”

Mom smiled sweetly, holding your bare hands and rubbing them comfortingly, to keep your attention on her, not them. Behind the smile, anyone would believe they were genuine, you could see the tiredness and guilt in her eyes. Despite none of this being her fault. “We’ll handle this, sweetheart.” Dad was trying to talk them out on the other side, to keep them away from you.

“Can someone please explain what is going on?”

Thumpings of pulsation pounded through your head.

You have no idea when you will see Mom and Dad again, face to face. When you will hear their voices again, the voice that flushes away all the tightness and unease.

You took in the moonlit face before you. The yellow lights from the street and houses added to her glow. As you gazed into the round eyes, you got the exact copy off, the noises died into the background. Your skin prickled, adding to the reality of the moment.

This is it.

“It’s ok, Honey. Everything will be completely fine. You don't worry about any-umph.”

Before she could finish her sentence, you let go of all the bags you were holding, letting them fall to the ground without a care if any of the stuff inside would break or be damaged. You threw yourself at her. Your bones shook as you embraced your beloved. Mom stood still for a second before she hugged you back gladly, just as tightly.

Your eyes shut, breathing in her comforting scent. Keeping in mind her touch, the feeling of safety in her hold, in her presence. “Call Seojoon right away if anything happens, hmm? Aunt Sejeong will be there.” She talked softly in your ears. You nodded in response. 

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby. Don't be too lost in your studies and forget to eat, ok?”

“Now, now, let go,” Mom whispered with a chuckle, even if she herself wished you wouldn’t, but it is to happen. As you loosened your hug slightly, Mom took your face in her hands and gave you a peck on your forehead. “Take care of yourself for me, hmm?” Her voice was getting smaller and shakier with each sentence.

And the moment her doll eyes glistened, you quickly diverted yours, letting go of her. Grabbing the bags from the floor. “Let me.” Seojoon offered his hand, but you shook your head. You were too lost to notice that Seojoon had already put the other baggage of your belongings in the trunk. You struggled with the four heavy bags but managed it. Moving past Seojoon and Nosy to put your stuff in the trunk before getting in the back seat, Seojoon held open.

You kept your eyes straight ahead the whole time, not giving the lady standing with glistening eyes a glance. Of course, you were fighting the urge to look at her one last time, but you clutched onto your compressing heart. With Sejoon's every move, your breathing got uneven. And as the wheels rolled, the first tear escaped your eyes, followed by the second and third.

Who will hug Lilith before going to school now? Or give her a clingy kiss before bed? Who will make her laugh? Even if she doesn’t laugh much, it always came easily with Mom, and now the little she was able to laugh and smile will also be gone. Who will she run to when anything happens?

They both know that Lilith tries to keep everything to herself, not wanting to worry her and Dad. Even if she has said too many times that, “You can tell me anything, Honey, we're here for you.”

The least they could do was be by her side, and that was more than enough for Lilith.

And Dad, she didn't even get to say goodbye. Till the last minute, she was in this town, they didn’t let her be.

Lilith closed her endlessly flowing eyes and rested her head back on the seat. Letting the road sound be her ground for now.

Should she have hugged Mom longer? Should she have spoken to Dad more?

//

As you reached the railway station, you stood awkwardly on the side, watching as the station workers loaded your stuff onto the train. You tried to do it yourself, but Seojoon stopped you.

“She may not be used to our ways of doing things,” Sejeong has told him.

Seojoon cleared his throat beside you, thinking of a way to explain. His body language appeared uncomfortable, but he tried. “You see, Miss… that’s not how things work in Haven.” Your eyes shifted to him blankly in confusion. “I can’t take care of my own responsibilities in Haven?” Seojoon pressed his lips together at your response.

“No…Uh, well, how you put it sounds…”

“Stupid.”

He cleared his throat again at your straightforwardness. “Yeah, but you let workers do their job, you know? While you should be…comfortable.” For the first time in his life, he is explaining to someone how to live Haven’s life.

The interior of the VIP zone was exquisite. You had no idea these parts even existed on trains. Jeongie always manages to leave you speechless with her extravagant ways. You totally understand Dad’s disapproval: “It’s just impractical to spend this much on every little thing.”

But, guess that’s just Haven's lifestyle.

The train hostess guided you two to your two-person table seat. The seat you settled down at had a big window view to enjoy the view fully by yourself... if you could on this occasion.

You were already stiff from not knowing how to put yourself in this kind of environment, and to have a ravishing man you only met an hour ago in the middle of chaos, sitting opposite you, looking at you as if you were some kind of weird creature, only elevated your stress level.

You were obviously uncomfortable. How is he not able to see it?

“Could you not stare?” You pushed out in the usual low tone, giving him a side glance. Seojoon blinked in realization.

“My apologies, Miss. I just ha-”

“Haven’t seen a poor person?”

“No!” You almost smiled at his panic as he quickly cleared himself.

“I’m a human being, Mister.” Seojoon looked at you with a funny, awkward smile of guilt.

“…Yes, yes, you are, Miss Vaein. Anyways, since you’ve never been to Haven or any of the big cities, you must be very curious about the lifestyle there. You must have lots of questions.”

“No.” 

You answered simply, looking out the window as the train whistled.

From your unexpected answer, Seojoon's face stuck in the smiling expression, he ended his sentence with. For now, you didn't want to think about Haven, the city you'll be spending the next part of your life in alone.

“Sure, it’s totally normal to not have any questions about the things you have no clue about.” He mumbled under his breath, and you did hear him but chose to ignore.

On the outskirts, away from the city kind of chaos. People lived a slow life and moved with the flow, while in the city, you've read, everything is controlled by the ticking of the clock. That's all you know.

There will be a lot to adjust.

The friction of the wheels against the rails sounded, indicating the beginning of the steps forward to the new world.

You watched the dawn break through your hooded eyes as your hometown stood behind, watching you leave, waving a slow goodbye like a ghost. Morning fog gradually swallowing it whole.

Could it be that it was all just a dream? A vivid nightmare? Did it all actually happen? You have no proof of it. Other than the invisible strings holding onto you, dry dirt sticking onto your body, and broken records playing endlessly in your head. Like a hazy melody, haunting your mind, your ears, but you can't tell the name of the song.

Hazy thoughts.

Once moments turn into memories of the past, it's basically over, no? You can't go back. You can't grasp upon it and live it in real life again.

The only route is to sit on the train and get taken to the next destination.

[9 hours later]

“We’ve arrived,” Seojoon poked your arm from the opposite seat. You sit back straight with a yawn. Rubbing your eyes, you felt a soft surface that wasn't there before.

Where did this pillow come from? You looked up to see Seojoon smiling proudly.

Seojoon already had all your hand-carried bags in his hands, leaving you the one small side bag. You slung it over your shoulder without an argument and followed behind Seojoon to the train exit.

Forgetting to prepare yourself, your pupils widened, the sleepy daze completely gone. Blown away by the grand station. Blinking your eyes, you reminded yourself of where you’ve arrived.

“...Distinguished guests, welcome to Haven. Hope you have a delightful stay...”

A woman's voice announced from the loudspeaker of the station. The place was buzzing with all the actually distinguished guests. Everyone was in their best attire, looking all classy and stylish, while you were in simple track shorts and a sweatshirt to be travel-friendly.

Seojoon left you inside the station with your carriage trolley as he went to contact the car-keeping booth for Jeongie’s car he parked here when he was going to receive you. You couldn't understand why he had to sit on the train 9 flipping hours back and forth, which is 18 hours, plus driving to you and back 3 more hours added, and you don’t know how far away Jeongie’s mansion is, so basically he had to travel 21 and more hours for you. 

It makes absolutely NO SENSE. You genuinely felt sorry for him. But since you can’t do anything about it now, you'll simply be grateful.

You stood there, with your arm resting on the carriage handle, and your face in your hand. Eyes were definitely scanning you, as if you were from another period of time.

You didn’t look bad at all, though...right? Because literally, who wears such an elegant but so not easy-to-breath corset top while traveling? Not that you’ve worn them before, but you’ve definitely heard about them. You weren’t sure if you should appreciate the fashion and ways of dressing up of each individual first, or the station’s interior designs. You decided on the latter.

There were many shops inside the grand station. Convenience stores, pharmacy, souvenirs, restaurants, and…

a bookstore?! 

Your hand left your face as you perked up like a bird hearing a familiar call. Your heart picked up its pace. Along with your leg, which started tapping frantically on the ground. You bit your lips to control yourself.

Where is Seojoon? He better come back right now, or you won’t be able to resist yourself.

Aah, screw it, he can wait cause you can’t.

You mindlessly dragged your luggage trolley to the bookstore, leaving it beside the entrance as you went in. Seojoon did told you that Haven is a very safe city. You doubted him then, but right now, you couldn’t care less about your belongings.

The huge store contained many artworks, antiques, along with thousands and thousands of books, from magazines to the kids’ section, biography, literature, novels, the Academic zone, and the most exciting section *glitter sound effect*

Biology.

How can you even describe this feeling? Your hands did a thing in excitement before they came over your mouth to hold yourself from squealing, the thrill making you almost combust.

The shelves were filled with all the new, untouched textbooks. 

‘Essential Cell Biology, Make Sense of Life, Invertebrates, Raven Biology of Plants, Microbiology, Environmental Science…’

How can you go into all of them at once?

You reached forward to grab the one that caught your eye. ‘Atlas of Human Anatomy,’

However, just as you did, a warm touch brought you back to reality. The sensation shot buff strings through your arms. Your fingers twitched underneath the hand atop yours.

A dark energy suddenly loomed from beside you as you felt in touch with the moment. Turning to the direction, the owner of the action, who seemed to be around the same age as you, looked back with a raised brow. The expression held no other obvious emotion, but you assumed he must be just as surprised as you.

A boy in a black leather jacket, black shirt, and a couple of accessorized necklaces. Dark hair falling over his eyes.

He didn’t look like the type to be in a bookstore, and definitely not in the academic zone.

You didn’t even notice him standing there after entering and seeing this heavenly section. With you being lost in your fantasy, he saw the thing you did in excitement from the corner of his eye. After scanning the books, and found the one he reached forward at the same time as you. Or maybe a millisecond slower than you.

He was surprised himself, turning to the owner of the delicate hands.

Both of you remained silent, only staring into the eyes of the other. The world outside quieted down for the moment of your meeting.

After a moment of just gazing... intensely staring at each other, his eyes were the first to break the contact, and they scanned you up and down instead. When they met yours again, he gave a little tug on the book.

However, you tightened your hold on the book even though every inch of your nerves wished to pull your hands away from under his. You pulled yourself out of his eyes, yours turning sharp in reply.

His own dark ones narrowed at your action before pulling again, but you still didn’t let go.

“I believe it's mine,” he spoke first, voice low, voice calm.

“You believe?" Just as calm, she replied. "Clearly, I took it first.” You glanced down at your overlapping hands. Yours gripped the spine fully, while his was partly on the book. How could it be his?

~

Seojoon’s eyes widened, looking side to side frantically as he didn’t see you at the spot where he left you.

“Shit”

He just went to grab you and himself some croissants after getting the car key, for you haven't eaten anything from sleeping soundly the whole trip.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” He cursed under his breath as he searched around. “Sejeong would kill me.” 

“Where could you be?” “Food? Ice cream? Bar? No, you idiot, she’s underage. Clothes?… Bookstore?” Then it clicked as he remembered what Sejeong had told him.

“She loves reading… very passionate about learning… that’s why she got into WILL that easily…”

“Books!” He exclaimed before clearing his throat awkwardly from getting some looks his way.

He put a hand on his chest, sighing in relief as he saw your trolley outside the bookshop. He went in, and his eyes widened again as he saw you and a boy fighting over a book.

~

“Let go.” The boy spoke again, as you didn't seem to be releasing anytime soon.

“You let go. There are many other texts you could have a look.” You suggested, nodding towards the shelf.

“Apparently, there's only one Atlas, as you can see. So, the same goes for you.”

“Not an easy take, is it? How much do you want this?” His brow raised at your question. And you, yourself, felt foreign to how easily sentences formed and left your mouth for the one book.

“This is the edition I've been searching for since last month.” The boy replied. Calm, yet there was a certain desperation in his act. And he didn't even know why he was wasting his time when he could easily take it from you, but he still nods to question back.

“To do research for my further education.”

“Great, you can look for the other editions. Leave this to me.”

“No,” You hurriedly responded, pulling the book back. “Do you even know what book this is?” The remark left you before you could think twice.

The boy scoffed.

He glanced down before looking back up at your firm expression. He turned fully towards you, tightening the hold on the book, unintentionally squeezing your hand in the process.

Suchlike water droplets on the earth during rain, it tingled over your skin. The sensation almost numbing your hands. Despite his not painful firm hold.

His head tilted slightly, brown eyes darkening as he spoke again in a quieter and deeper tone.

“Say that again?”

As the boy stood straight, his taller and bigger proportions were displayed. Yet, you were determined not to back down. There is a reason your mind made the decision for the book, and you never doubt that. However, your body seemed to have a mind of its own. Your legs took a baby step back to maintain a distance between the two of you.

The closeness forced your eyes to lour up, and you gladly emphasized every word of your previous sentence.

“Do. You. Even. Know. What. Book. This. Is?”

His lips curled at you accepting his dare. And you weren't certain whether the look was of irritation or something much worse, amusement.

His lips parted, “Be careful, young lady.”

“Or wh-”

“Miss Vaein!” You turned to the sudden call to see Seojoon rushing towards you. And in that split second, the book was snatched away from your hand. A gasp left you, turning back to see him already having his back to you. You stood frozen with your lips parted.

Minho could feel your glare burning into the side back of his neck as he put the book on his father's account at the counter.

After his odd way of paying, the boy left, uncaringly.

Arms crossed, eyes fixed upon his head, you didn't move.

And as though he heard your dare, his head turned. The brown eyes met you once again, and before going out of sight...

The bastard winked at you.

You scoffed, upper lip curling in disbelief.

//

By the time you walked out of the store, your mood was brightened again, and your heart was filled to the brim. In your hand, you held a new book, ‘Understand the Human Body’

You argued with Seojoon that you just wanted to have a look after biting him, not literally, for being the reason you lost the precious book to the boy, whom you aren't even sure is worth obtaining it.

But the way your eyes weren't empty, and they glowed as you looked inside the different textbook, Seojoon had to buy it for you.

You walked beside him as he dragged the trolley out of the station. A bright sunlight after a long journey made you squint. Seojoon left you once more as he went to bring the car from the parking lot.

Leaning on the trolley handle, you took in the urban scene. Instead of looking far away to see green fields and trees, it was all classically designed buildings and structures. The word to describe this place would be.

Magnificent

Knowing you're in Haven led you to think of Aunt Sejeong. The latest memory of Aunt Sejeong you have was around 7 years ago, when she came by herself to you right after hearing the incident that made talks about you went around town. Aunt Jeongie was the person you wrote to during the complete shock state you were in, and you were too afraid to tell Mom or Dad of the incident.

“I didn't expect Lilith to turn out to be this type of girl.” “That's totally ungraceful.” “We call that a sl-” “She let a boy tou-”

You shuddered, shaking your head to scatter the memory away. But Jeongie believed you, and only you, no matter what and how they spoke of the rumours. She had her full faith in you.

Arguments and explanations went on, but talking to them was like screaming into a wall. It was futile. When Jeongie couldn't convince them anymore, she shut them with bills thrown at their face to stop the rumours.

Surprisingly, it worked... to a certain level.

You miss her. Unfortunately, she’s busy today as always, so she couldn’t make it. And from how excited she sounded every time she called to update about the moving and WILL stuff. It made your excitement advance, along with her. You know she would’ve left everything for you, thus the fact that she couldn’t make it could only mean the work is exceptional today.

A maroon jaguar brought you out of your thoughts. Through the clear window, Seojoon was in the driver's seat. Driving closer to the station's front. It looked exactly like the small car model Dad collects, but enlarged into a real one. You were living in Dad’s dream, getting to see all these beautiful cars. The surreal image that belongs to Dad, not you. It made you wish you had a camera, so you could take a picture to show Dad when you return.

You haven’t even been here for an hour, and you’re already thinking about home.

The wheels rolled against the ground as you dragged the trolley to the ramp beside the huge stairs. The slope made you tick your head in contemplation. And your confidence made you regret it next...

As the trolley started inclining down, its actual weight pulled on your arms. You pulled with all the strength you could muster. But as it continued down, you started losing control. Why? Physics, everybod-STOP! This is not the time to think about the fraction and force needed to apply to resist this freaking trolley. Your face scrunched.

Just in time, as if Mother Nature caught your struggle, the weight pulling on your soul lightened, slowing the trolley down. The hand beside yours at the handle led it all the way down. You breathed in relief after your life just flashed by. Your chest pounded out of your body.

You turned to the side to thank the person politely, but it was empty, void of any presence.

Weird, you thought.

Before you could think further, Seojoon appeared beside you, smacking your hand away from the trolley, pulling your attention back. “Why didn’t you wait?!” He scolded you, having seen the incident unfold. You answered with a shrug, as if you weren't about to lose your life on the first hour you've arrived in Haven just now.

//

You were stood at the side again with your arms crossed, like a grumpy kid who didn’t get the ice cream flavor they asked for, glaring at the road as Seojoon loaded your stuff into the trunk. He begged you to just let him do his work. You gave up right away, not liking him begging you at all.

You didn't ask for the help, you didn't even need it. If this is how your everyday life will be here, you'd rather go ba-

A car passed by in front of you, and guess who was inside looking at you with an amused look? 

Bookstore boy.

Your already bad temper elevated, jaws tightened seeing him, and with that face. Your eyes followed until he went out of your line of vision.

Turning back to focus on the road in front, Minho was quiet. The eyes were of a predator ready to pounce on its prey. He let out a chuckle.

“What?” Felix asked confusedly from the passenger seat beside him. Hyunjin, in the back seat, squeezed between Chan and Changbin, also poked his head in, being as nosy as always.

“Saw a new... face.”

//

“They’ll get your bags to your room.” Seojoon was about to go in with you, but you stopped him. “I seriously believe I can manage from here.” You resisted because he has done enough, too much today. “Go rest, Seojoon.” You said stoically. Anyone could tell how tired he was from the extreme journey.

He gaped at you as if you had said an unusual thing.

“Didn't expect you to be caring, Miss Vaein.” He smiled funny, to which you glared at him. “Will you just go?”

He gasped dramatically. “Now you're shooing me away? I'm hurt.” “You've been spending too much time with Jeongie.” “The key to your room is at the reception. Here’s my contact. Reach me whenever you need.”

Topic change? Interesting.

You took his card. “Before you leave, would you deliver a message to Aunt?” He nodded, looking at you with expectancy.

“I apologise on her behalf. Just let her know, I'm not impressed with her sending you all the way...But, thank you.”

You formally ended your interaction. He was about to say something, but you turned away from him.

You were a little tired from the long journey, but became wide-eyed again as you actually looked at the condo, and this was only the outside.

Are you even in the right place? Your head tilting up to the big letters.

‘Golden Hour’ 

Okay, maybe it’s just the outer. 

Nope, it wasn't just the outer. You were flabbergasted by how luxurious it was. You rubbed your eyes in tiredness and disbelief at the same time, and the smell, GOD. Are you in heaven? Massive chandeliers were dangling from the ceiling in the middle of the lobby area, sparkling up the place. Many so comfortable-looking armchairs were on both sides of the long carpet you were standing on, which was laid from the entrance all the way up to the reception table.

You didn’t think Dad would choose such a costly place, but from seeing the city, you doubt there even is a place that looks normal. And by that, you mean your level of normal, not Haven’s. You felt like crying all over again. With a gulp of air, you made your way to the reception table. Only a few residents were resting in the lobby, and you were grateful for that.

As you reached the reception, you cleared your throat before hesitantly speaking, “Hello, room for Lilith…Vaein Lilith.” Maybe you’re really in the wrong place.

The receptionist looked up from the computer. She scanned you up and down. I’m sorry, this is not a place for commoners like you. You hope she says it, and maybe it's better to hear that than to actually live here.

Recognition came over her, and she smiled. “Yes, Miss Lilith, I was expecting you. You’re right on time. Miss Sejeong informed me that you’ll be arriving soon. Your room is ready, let me guide you.” Your shoulder relaxed at the warm welcome, nodding with your lips pressed together, in an attempt to give her a polite smile.

She guided you to the grand ballroom stairs. “Kim Jiwoo, you can call me Liz. Heard that you’re going to the famous WILL Academy?” You snapped your head to her. 

How did she kno-

Oh.

Jeongie is really friendly with literally anyone she comes in contact with, so you nod in response.

“Congratulations, I also heard you got the 2nd highest ranking. You must be really proud.”

Who else have you announced this news to, Jeongie? You weren't sure how to feel about it. The rank has never once been referred to you until now.

“Thank you,” You replied simply. Liz didn't push you further, remembering what Jeongie told her.

“…She might be too overwhelmed by then, and also she has this kinda...rough personality? So please don't mind her. Take care of her for me while I’m not there. I feel so bad. These idiots keep stuffing work…”

Hello? A lift? You've not only never been on one, you've never even seen one before. You trailed mindlessly behind her, seeing your surroundings, almost bumping into her as she stopped.

“This is your room, Q26,” Liz informed as you reached outside a room, handing you the key. “If you need anything at all, I’ll be at the reception table. Welcome to ‘Golden Hour,’ enjoy your stay.” 

She left with a smile.

You looked down at your hand. A small golden key with a heart at the head. ‘Q26’ written on one side. Flipping it, ‘The key to happiness’ written on the other.

The key to happiness, huh?

“Happiness.” You repeat the word in a whisper, staring blankly at the door.

After you had no idea how long, a thump from over your head, like someone dropped something heavy on the upper floor, brought you back. 

You prepared yourself before twisting the key and opening the door extremely slowly.

Your hand flew to your mouth as a gasp left you.

A queen-sized bed in the middle, an orange lamp on the bedside table, and a study table with shelves beside it, ready for you to fill them. You removed your shoes. A large crystal door was connected to a balcony, to give you the perfect view of the city below. Further in, there was closet room with more space than the clothes you have, kitchen, dining table, big ass bathroom with bathtub, and a glass shower.

Everything you need and more is here for you.

Quickly moving your bags and suitcases inside the room from the carrier that the bellboy delivered for you, you opened a specific luggage. Disheveling all the other objects out of sight in search of your papers. You pulled out your inks and pen, settling down on the desk, prepared for you.

______________________________________________________________

Dear Mother and Father,

Do I deserve this...?

______________________________________________________________

By the time you cleared out the last bag, the sun had set. You plopped down on the floor beside the bed after placing the last bag under the coat hanger beside the entrance door, along with the other emptied ones.

Looking up at the ceiling.

Silence.

No noise of utensils clattering, or smell of delicious food from the kitchen. No light sounds of the radio finding its way into your room.

You are now... on your own.

[Next morning]

“Seojoon?”

“I/You don’t have anything to eat?”

You were taken by surprise, blinking at the telephone when Seojoon spoke the sentence for you.

“I’m waiting outside.”

“Right now?” You asked in disbelief.

“Yes, Miss Vaein.”

Wow. How?

You woke up in the same position you had plopped down on the floor yesterday. When you opened your eyes, you quickly sat up to see an unfamiliar environment before the events of yesterday came back. It really wasn't a dream. You rubbed your face. The strains of dry tears stuck with you. Pushing yourself up, you freshened up, throwing on your zip-up hoodie & low-rise shorts. Like you said, you didn't expect to go anywhere today, but as you opened the refrigerator to find yourself some breakfast, it was empty. 

Not a single fly to feed the hungry girl.

You opened all the cupboards to find they were all empty as well. So, you have to buy everything yourself? Well, this is actually the first thing that makes sense since you arrived here, but how will you go out alone in this unfamiliar, big, scary city? You haven’t seen anything scary yet, but still, it’s a big city, and some things have to happen here. You’ve watched all those crime documentaries with Mom and read many yourself, so yeah, you’d never go out alone.

But you can’t starve to death, right? When the academy starts in 2 more days. And you didn’t even get to open the new book Seojoon bought you.

To your astonishment, you found a telephone in the kitchen. First thought, being, not food, despite your rumbling stomach, but to call home. However, the excitement died down really quick, as no ringing sounded in your ear.

The distance is too far away.

You clutched onto yourself and tried calling Seojoon instead.

You already had long sleeves on, so you only grabbed your cross-body denim bag with the necessary stuff and walked out, locking the door. In awe as you made your way down to the lobby. You don't think you'll ever get used to this.

You're basically a princess right now, living in this castle-like place. Except for the fact that you don't have a tiara or any puffy dresses or a Prince Charming or a pet or...

Okay, maybe not.

Liz greeted you with a good morning before you stepped into the sunlight.

//

“The World Mall?”

Seojoon drove you to the mall, where he said contains everything you want inside, from kitchenware, dishes, to all the groceries.

The mall was, of course, no exception in its grandness. There were more teenagers here, but even then, their fashions were no less than the adults', and, to be honest, you would say it’s even more overboard than what you saw at the train station. This is basically like a gathering place for all the spoiled brats with their Mommy and Daddy’s money.

You were blinded by all the sparkly glittery dresses, and not just that, but elevated it even more with fur coats.

Am I in Hollywood? You thought.

What fabrics even are these crop tops and skirt sets? Chanel, Saint Laurent, Gucci, Ralph Lauren, and many more high-fashion tailored outfits.

Just…Woah.

“Are we at a fashion show?” You leaned closer to ask Seojoon, to which he chuckled. “This is normal, especially with teenagers.”

You thought you looked good, you do, but… What are you supposed to think? When they’re staring at you as if they’ve never seen a normal teenage girl with her cute little outfit that you don’t think is available for sale anywhere in Haven. These high-class humans probably don’t even wear these comfortable clothes in their sleep.

Lilith brushed them off her attention as she followed beside Seojoon. Since she was little, Lilith has been stared at. It made her extremely self-conscious. Always felt like someone was watching her, even though she was well...alone. Yes, it sounds terrifying. But do not worry, she has recovered from it on her own as she started caring less.

She pretended until she realised she actually didn't care anymore.

As you made your way up the stairs to the Home & Appliances area, you could still see them whispering to each other while glancing at you.

There is something in common between the new city and your town, after all. But something was missing, though. There weren’t any pity or disdainful expressions on their faces.

It was more like…surprise? Curious?

“Oh! I forgot.” Seojoon exclaimed from beside you. “I have to take care of some… very important issue, but nothing for you to worry about, cause it’s totally nothing to do with you, I promise…uh...so go on, look around for what you need, I’ll be back.”

You stood still in your place.

So he’s going to act totally not suspicious and leave you alone here in the middle of the mall, just like that?

“O...kay”

You grasped your hands together in front, walking awkwardly into the kitchen zone. Looking around at all the kitchenware that seems more fitting for royalty than you.

After a while of inspecting around mindlessly, you felt taps on your shoulder. You turned around to see,

“Jeongie!” Your face lit up, hugging her right away in surprise and excitement, and you didn’t know how to act from the suddenness. “Tiger~! I missed you so much, my baby. How have you been?”

“I don’t know.” You breathed, mind going blank at the suddenness of seeing her after what? Forever? Or more.

“I knew he was acting suspicious.” You pointed at Seojoon. “Totally nothing to do with you.” They chuckled at your imitation of him in a deep monotone. “Let me have a look at my tiger.” She turned you 360 degrees before cupping your face, mushing your cheeks. “Look how much you've grown. The last time I saw you, you were this small.” She gestured at her shoulder. “And now, a proper lady.”

You two walked hand in hand. No, you didn't feel any tingling or discomfort, even your body felt safe with her. She talked about anything and everything, telling you all the things she could through letters and the telephone. You ate and shopped together while Seojoon was like the Dad, third wheeling you two, and getting bullied by Jeongie. They seemed close to each other, very close.

//

“We’re only an hour away from each other now, so don’t be sad. Call me whenever you want anything, okay?” She flushed you with kisses, which made a disdainful expression appear on your face.

This one habit of hers, you remembered very clearly.

“Okay… okay! That’s enough, I’m not dying. Bye.” “Bye, see you soon, tiger.” She faked crying while waving her hand dramatically, which brought a smile to your face before copying her lightly.

A piece of Lilith's heart healed from the long-awaited meeting.

You held half of the bags while Seojoon held the other half. He’s not arguing anymore, as you explained that you were comfortable this way.

You made your way out of the mall just as a group of boys walked in.

Your shoulder brushed with the redheaded one, causing him to turn his head from talking to his friends to you, but before he could see your face, you had already walked past him.

His eyes followed your figure, slowing down on his track. One of his hands came out of his jeans pocket to rub his neck while checking you out.

Ticking his head to the side at the new but very ho-good-looking fashion. “Someone caught your eyes, buddy?” San teased, wrapping his hands around Wooyoung’s shoulder, bringing his attention back. Wooyoung phewed, adjusting his fashion glasses. 

The familiar bell chimed, echoing through the school. Despite its intermittent and scratchy noise, the effect was obviously the opposite for the time everyone waits for has finally arrived. A distant cheering from the younger students' class found its way into the classroom. The seniors were no less. Rustling of books shovings, and seats scratching against the floor filled the room as everyone hurriedly packed their stuff and moved to leave even before the teacher finished.

“Don't forget we have a test after the weekend, so don't get too carried away with the fun! Class...dismiss.”

The reminder was muffled or ignored. The latter being a rather accurate description for this school.

One girl, specifically, stayed put in her seat until the teacher dismissed the class properly. Even though she clocked the time as always.

At the corner back of the class. Hanging her bag around her shoulder, stood up,

Lilith.

Of course, you were also waiting for the time. However, your reason for the waiting might be different.

While their day is coming to an end, yours will begin once you get home. Since you'll get back to your actual study after another long day of wasting your time attending these futile classes.

But it seems like the universe is against you as always. You didn't even take a step away from your seat when the teacher spoke.

“Miss Vaein, please stay behind.”

A huff of frustration almost left you, but you sat back down with a sigh.

Should you even be surprised?

One by one or in groups, other students left the class, getting to go home quicker than you. While you sat there, waiting for all of them to leave and glaring holes into the ones that were moving excruciatingly slowly and eating up your precious time. As the last group of students moved out of the class and the room calmed, you approached the front desk.

“Take a seat, Lilith.”

You followed, taking the seat in front of his desk. Without looking up from the homework he was checking, Mr. Yoon started, “Have you decided where to continue your study?”

Continue your study? If he had asked about another competition he wanted you to participate in, or anything other than that would have sounded more ordinary.

“Here...?” Your low-tone answer came out more like a question because where else can you go when this is the only school in your area?

The hell place, basically known as this community school you’ve been in since kindergarten. Now, in the last year of secondary school. As you’ve mentioned, this is the only school here in your town, so you don’t really have any options other than to endure 2 more years of sixth form until you finish. And you do wish a lot that there was a system for students to study on their own without having to join school to get their official report cards and papers to prove they’re a person of knowledge. Eugh.

Mr. Yoon let out a sigh, putting his pen down, now turning his full attention to you. He didn't have to say a word, and you could still tell what was going on in his head.

Where should we even start? This school is full of low-class people. Even the teachers are unknowledgeable. Mr. Yoon is different, though. He’s the one who saw you, your enthusiasm for learning. Your determination to win in the competitions he put you in. Your interests that were far from something kids your age like. And, guess what? That’s one of the big reasons you got bullied until a couple of years ago.

Lame, right? 

Also, Mr. Yoon graduated from the University of Clé. That's one of the top Universities in the world! And your dream. Even though you have no idea what major to choose yet, you hope you'll be able to decide it in your sixth form. He often makes you wonder why he chose to teach in such a low-achieving school, but he never gave you the answer to that.

“Your academic interests and abilities are beyond something this school can provide for you, Lilith.” Mr. Yoon searched for your eyes, which were looking down. Not getting any response from you, he continued, “ ‘WILL Academy’ is opening for new students to appl-”

“WILL ACADEMY?!”

Mr. Yoon’s mouth widened in bewilderment as he put his hands out to calm you. He hadn’t heard this tone out of you for awhile. “I know what you’re thinking, but please just listen first.” He pleaded.

You shook your head, furrowing in disbelief. “This is a joke.” Because WILL Academy, the academy of dreams and luxury... for all the spoiled and filthy-rich born kids, is only a dream for someone from a middle-class family like yours, and to be completely honest, compared to them, your family is not even considered middle-class, but rather poor. You have only seen the Academy on television. How luxurious everything is there. And heard about their interesting study systems. They even have advanced classes that your local library probably doesn’t even have the books for.

So…

You are not overreacting.

“There’s an academic test you’ll need to take, as the scores are required for the application. You already have too many impressive achievements, like your first place in the Math Problem Solving Competition for 5 years straight. Biology Contests, first in all, Poetry, Chess, Crosswords, first, first, and first. You even participated in History Debates and presented your projects at Science Fairs, and many more. Lilith! That’s beyond impressive for someone your age or even older.” Mr. Yoon finally took a breath after listing your achievements. “I could go on if that'll convince you.”

You shifted your eyes away from him. That's not the least of your worries, “Mr. Yoon…My parents can’t afford-”

“There is a position for a full scholarship.” Your head snapped back at that, but you licked your lips. Even after that, there will be other expenses that will cost Mom and Dad a fortune. The academy is in a big city far far away from home, and their lifestyles, you don't even want to think about those pompous fancy-pants.

“You have to at least try, Lilith.” Mr. Yoon seemed to really want you to.

There’s no loss in just trying, right? No need to take it seriously. You contemplated. After a long silence, you made your decision.

“Just for fun?”

That brought a bright smile to Mr. Yoon’s face, and he perked up. He knows exactly how to convince you.

“Just for fun.”

Mr. Yoon repeated in confirmation. And it seemed to delight your teacher in a way as if he knew something you didn't.

Lilith is fond of the topic challenge. Desiring to know if she has any limits and if there is possibly anything beyond her capability. When most kids play around and do notorious things, she’s the one on her own, seeking new knowledge. Lost to her own world. Never had a friend to call her own. The ones that called themselves her “friend” turned out to be bitches who used her brain and innocence for their grades, and the only boy that was nice to her moved away when they turned 7. Lucky number, ha? Doesn’t work on this girl. 

And after that day, things started going downhill.

The other kids still stare at her strangely sometimes, but as she simply looks up from her book with the habitual sharp eyes she has developed, they all scatter right away. Her insides burn whenever she sees these creatures. Humans would be too good of a word to call them when they would’ve at least done something about it instead of standing there watching as if the scene in front of them was a simple play, not bullying, harassment, and…physical violence. And you! Ha!

You, yourself, didn’t even stand up on your own feet. 

But do not brood over it, no one bothers you anymore, or at least not like back then. Now, it’s just looks thrown your way, funny, but still a little skin-prickling. Scornful notes, from little babies who don't dare to speak to your face. But you're a ghost to most, and you prefer it stays this way.

Compared to then, BIG big improvement.

How it lessened? Uhm...let's leave that for later, shall we?

[Three months later]

“I’m home,” Lilith announced as she took off her shoes. 

A gust of something delicious enveloped you as you stepped in. A reminder that you’re back in the safe place. It loosens you up right away. Like every muscle in your body relax, and you'll melt into nothing.

The best part of the day for sure. 

You stretched your arms and neck, bringing out satisfying cracking sounds. With a deep breath, you made your way to the kitchen. Mom and Dad were already at the dining table with some papers scattered around. Probably work stuff or bills, you tell yourself. Mom tells you to just focus on your studies and don’t worry about anything else. The bills and payments are their work. You’ve tried to convince them to let you do a part-time to lessen their burden, but no, no, and no. They were firm upon it, so there’s nothing you can do. 

“Hello.” You greeted them softly.

The moment you stepped in, Mom scooped you into a bear hug. “Hello.” This time, your voice came out as strained as Donald Duck from a sudden tight embrace.

“You didn’t tell me you applied to WILL Academy.” She spoke.

Oh, fish. How did they know? You kept the matter from them since you knew if you told them, it wouldn't go well. You even told Mr. Yoon to keep the secret. You gulped.

“I...only applied for fun, it’s nothing, Mama.” She moved away to look at you properly. “What do you mean, just for fun? You could have told us, you know?”

Told you two? So you’ll sell this house and live by the roadside just for me to have a sprinkly, glittery, princess life in some top academy that can provide me with every knowledge and everything I’ll ever need and more? Yeah, I totally should have told you two.

“I didn’t want you two to worry over nothing.” She made a knowing look before hugging you again, tighter this time, which made you even more baffled. 

“I’m sorry, but what does applying for fun have anything to do with this…hugging thing going on?”

Then you heard sniffles. You backed right away to look at her. “Mom, what’s wrong with you?” Dad lifted one of the papers from the table and waved it lightly to you. You looked between them before hesitantly going to take the paper from him.

What would cause Mom to cry? Fear crept into your chest as you looked down at the hard paper in your hands.

______________________________________________________________

‘WILL Academy Logo’

Miss Vaein Lilith,

We have received your entry application for the ‘Year 12’ students. Your profile, achievements, and especially your scores were beyond impressive. You have scored the 2nd highest ranking out of all the applicants, so we are writing this letter with immense pleasure to congratulate you on being selected as the recipient of our highly competitive scholarship, ‘WILL 2 Dream’

Your dedication and commitment to your academic pursuits have not gone unnoticed, and it has significantly distinguished you from the other applicants.

This scholarship is only the beginning of your bright future with us. We’re looking forward to having an excellent student like you at our academy. 

WELCOME TO WILL

______________________________________________________________

Your furrow deepened, and the paper in your hand started trembling the moment you saw the latter highlighted word. Your breath caught as you read each word twice and thrice. The hairs on your arms stood as if also wanting to know what was written in the paper, sending you a shiver.

You got in? You got into WILL, the top-ranking academy everyone knows and dreams about? WILL, where millions of students from around the world wish to be?

You looked up at them with your mouth gaping like a fish forgetting how to close its mouth, and you didn't know why the scene in front of you was getting blurry. What shook you to the core wasn't the letter, but the glimmer in Mom and Dad's eyes.

No.

But… you’re not going. You only tried it out for fun. Dad shook his head in stopping you before your mouth even parted.

“You know we would always support you, right?”

“Bu-No no, I don't want this.” Your voice wavered along with the mist from the heating pot.

You don't want this.

“Nothing matters. Lith this is a big chance for us, for you. You'll finally be where you belong. Don't you see it?”

“No, you don't understand, Dad. I'm doing fine here. I have Mr. Yoon and you, and mom. And the studies, I can do it on my own.”

“Lith, we all know you are not fine here. Yes, you have us, but you'll have Jeongie there... And no more, no more of these... stuff that keeps... killing you.”

Dad's words were like a slap across the face, and you shook your head shakily.

“I don't want to see it anymore, Lith.” Dad almost whispered, millions of emotions whirling in his eyes.

Mom touched your shoulder softly. “Oh, how much you'll grow in ‘Haven’, at WILL. You won't be able to achieve some things if you don't know the real depth of it. Think about how much you'll learn at such academy. Think about your dream into Clé. Everything will become easier for you there. It may take time to adjust. It will be difficult to leave us. But think about all the opportunities, Baby.”

You were sniffing roughly at this point.

“This is your future, Lith, and we’d do everything for that.”

And they truly did.

Dad made all the arrangements to make it as convenient as possible for you. And from the good you’ve done in your past life, WILL is in the city where your single, filthy-rich aunt Sejeong lives in her mansion. She took you as her responsibility without any hesitation. When she first heard the news, she couldn’t contain her excitement.

“Let her live with me! I’m so lonely, FINALLY I’ll have company.” “Don’t you worry about her at all, brother. She’ll have a bodyguard with her at all times.” “If anyone even glances at my tiger, I’ll write a lawsuit at them!”

And yes, she’s very dramatic.

Knowing your aunt has good intentions, Dad still doesn’t like accepting help from others, even if it’s from his own sister.

“I’m serious, brother. I can take care of everything for Lilith. You don’t have to worry about anything at all, okay? She’s like my own daughter, you know?” After arguing for almost a day with your aunt, Dad finally gave up, knowing he’d never win. “Fine…but since you’re going to be taking care of Lith for a long time now, at least let me do something for her.”

“Your stubbornness is 100% from Sejeong,” Dad always tells you.

And as if it’s the first time, luck is on your side, right?

Wrong.

Jeongie’s place is in a completely different area from WILL. It's impressive, really, how the universe never loses any chance of giving you what you don’t want. So, now…

Jeongie hardly agreed to let Mom and Dad rent a condominium room for you by themselves.

Dad insisted, and you argued.

“A normal apartment would be more than fine.”

“It’s a waste of money, Dad.”

“It’s not necessary at all.”

“It’ll onl-”

“Do you want unwanted attention again?” He shut you, finalizing with. “This will be a new beginning for you. You have to fit in.”

//

Mr. Yoon cried when you informed him of the news. “I knew it!” He exclaimed, jumping up from his seat in his office, rushing to you, but stopping right as he was about to hug you, in realization.

You're not a fan of physical touches.

But in that moment, you stepped closer to him yourself. Yoon Jeonghan is the teacher who played the biggest part in your success and even in your life. The person who has genuinely put in so much effort on you, and simply waves you off with, “I'm a teacher, this is my duty.” If only every single teacher on this planet were like Mr. Yoon. You don't know where else you will find someone like him. You furnished your trust for him and let down your armour, knowing he's worthy of it all.

A motherly figure, truly.

If there was one thing you're thankful for this school, it would be

Mr. Yoon.

He smiled shakily at your action and held you so gently as if he was afraid you’re body would react differently from your mind.

“Your time has finally arrived. A bright future is awaiting you.”

//

The last day of school was like a heavy sack had been lifted from your chest. Such sense of ease, you doubt you’ve ever experienced before.

Is this even real? Will you finally be free from this rat trap? Are things finally going to be good for you? Should you feel sad, even if it's only a teeny tiny bit, for leaving the school you’ve been in since 4?

Rather than sad to leave, it’s more pathetic to think there wouldn’t be enough pleasant memories to look back on. Only the things a young girl shouldn't have experienced.

You made up your mind to wander around the school after the finals. To look at everything one last time before you turn away and move forward, without looking back.

You stopped by your earliest teacher and your undoubtedly favourite place, the library. It was small, very small, but you were thankful for it being with you from the start of your academic journey. Bringing you to acknowledge and find the things you revel in. It gave you an understanding of the world through science and literature from a young age.

Oh, how amazing life was for little Lilith, even at her lowest, to swoop in all the bits of knowledge she could find. And ramble it all off to the boy in the woods under the big old oak. Only that, one afternoon at the age of 7, was the last time she met him at their spot.

“Let's leave the other birds for tomorrow, shall we? Or I'm afraid there won't be any left. Bye, Moony~”

Those were the last words you heard from him, and tomorrow never came again.

You walked by the school field, where little Lilith used to play with the other kids. Not for long, though. When they realized they couldn’t defeat her, they didn't want her to play with them any longer. Framing her with cheating accusations just to keep their disgusting face when anyone with a brain could see the truth. How badly they lost, every single time.

You made sure to skip past the gymnasium so your mind doesn’t replay any of the unpleasant images again.

One place, in particular, you had to pay a visit to. Mrs. Im’s studio. Through the small window peek at the wooden door, sat a lady at the desk inside.

Teacher Nayeon. 

The woman who introduced you to a direction that altered you.

“Sing, my dear, let it go. Let your pain and sorrow whirl away with the rhythm. Write, illustrate it down. Turn your wanderings and tangles into art.”

~

((Consider there isn't any music yet, only your vocals.))

‘ I’m wondering what we could do

And I'm lost, I'm lost

Oh, somebody come through

Tell me why the way they look at me is so confusing

Oh, why do I feel stupid?

Tell me what you want from me, or I'll just bleed again.

Here we go again

Back in the same places

Why, oh, why do I still feel like

Nothing ever changes?

How do I fall for it every time? ’

((Lyric changes are applied to fit the message better))

‘ To take my love away

When I come back around, will I know what to say?

Said you won't forget yourself

Not today, not tomorrow

Kinda strange, feelin' sorrow

Had to change, you should follow (follow)

When I come back around, will I know what to say?

Not today, or tomorrow

Open up the door, can you open up the door?

I know you said before you can't cope with any more

You told me it was war, said you'd show me what it’s for

I hope it's not for sure, can you open up the door?

Did you take

My love away

From me?

Thought I saw you in the mirror when I looked away

Saw you turn around, but it wasn't your face

Said, "I need to be alone now, I'm takin' a break."

How come when I returned, you were gone away?

I don't, I don't know who you are

I don't know you at all

I don't know you

Not at all

I don't, I don't know who you are

I don't know you at all

I don't know you

Did you take

My love away

From me? Me…’

‘ I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know, but I'm not sure now

Why I was played on

What have I done for?

Thinking back on, I was shining bright

Looked so alive, then the lights all died

Just something you stepped on

What have I done for?

'Cause I, I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

When did it end? All the enjoyment

I'm sad again, don't tell my mother

It's not what she's made for

What was I made for?

Think I forgot how to be happy

Something I'm not, but something I wish to be

Something I wait for’

~

“Come in!” Carefully, you twisted the handle, sliding the door ajar.

“Lyle~” Ms. Nayeon called out the nickname she gave you brightly, as always. You bowed your head down, unable to step further in. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She got up from her seat in concern. You mustered courage and tilted your head up to her. From her stunned expression, you guess you weren't able to conceal enough.

“I’ll miss you.”

Her lips turned into a pout as she reached her hands out to call you closer. “I will as much. Where else will I ever find a student like you, huh?” She caressed your clothed arms as you stood before her. Making your finger twitch. “Don’t you dare forget such a lovely teacher as me, do you understand?” She threatened playfully to lighten the mood. The smallest smile appeared on your face from her usual demeanour of keeping the mood carefree and light-hearted, and that was all she needed to see. The emotions that weren't just blank or negative.

Guess you do have one more thing to look back on.

Lastly, the place you couldn't leave without a last visit. The hardest place to leave behind. The place you always went to when you were struggling, when you had questions. The only person you could ask without a fear that they'll shoo you away, or spit back on your face, just because they couldn't answer your question. The person you didn't have to fear will cause you red eyes and sniffles. The person who truly saw your growth...if you can call it one. The person who saw how these ruthless people affected you, turning the warm sun into a cold moon.

Mr. Yoon was in his office, checking the last test papers, when he heard a knock. He almost groaned in annoyance from the notorious students playing tricks on him, but then he realised the knocking pattern. How can he even dare to forget? And he is certain it'll haunt him from now on.

The door to his office opened, revealing you as he had expected. Eyes tired, hair frizzy, and in the same sweater you've been wearing atop your uniform since 4th grade, when you were cocooned in them, till the last day of school, finally fitting to your size.

“Lilith, why are you still here? You want me to take you home?”

You left his question hanging, and he watched you. The silence of the almost empty school was adding to the unreal feeling. It was tickling you in an unusual way. Your chest kept pressing heavier and heavier, even after the teasing, and a little wish of goodbye from Miss Nayeon. The realization that this might be, not might be, but is the last time you'll be standing here in the comfort of this special room, where you've gained incredibly in the presence of your teacher, was hammering you to the heart.

You shook your head lightly, tightening your hands into a fist. You tried to contain yourself, but the jar was filling up way too quickly. Overwhelming you. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. “Who will answer my questions?” You asked out, voice quivering much more than you expected. The knot in your chest was expanding so fast that you weren't able to block it any longer.

And the emotions rushed over you like a tidal wave.

You couldn't hold back the sob that left you. Your fist loosened, and you burst out crying like a baby in front of him.

Mr. Yoon's expression turned from confused to worried and understanding. “Oh, dear.” His mouth quivered seeing you full-on crying openly. “Well, now, you'll just have to do your own research.” He came to lean back on his desk in front of you.

“No...”

“You're a big girl now.”

“Am not. How will I be alone there in that big academy full of...strange new humans?”

He shook his head at your childishness, but it would be lying to say that he wasn’t feeling downhearted himself to let you go after all these years, and be a little worried to send you off to a new chapter, after seeing the little glimmering eyed girl grown out this much, and being in this impactful part of your life. He felt like mirroring your action.

“Remember your question?”

Your crying turned down slightly, sniffling roughly. You rubbed your eyes while rethinking on what questio-

Oh

How could you forget the only question you caused pain in his head for, but he still never gave you an answer to? Seeing your realization face made a smile appear on his face.

“Didn't think the time to answer this question would arrive in a matter of time.”

He let out a chuckle, and from how sad it sounded, it panged your heart even more. He exhaled shakily.

“While I had all the choices and chances...some didn't even have one. I dreamt of being a teacher to find passions who needed the support, and just a little push into the right direction.”

He looked at you with a deep affection in his motherly eyes.

“And you, my dear. You... are my dream come true, my little Miss Academia.”