cosy fall

i realised today that what i need to do is heal my inner child. the little girl that was so scared and had to grow up faster than she could ever imagine, years rushing by in a matter of weeks. becoming 5 years older than my actual age was terrifying. that little girl never got to have a childhood really. she was 18 at aged 10. and now i find myself in a position where i’m starting fresh. properly this time. alone. i have no one to prove myself to other than that little girl. i know that no one believes i can do it and i don’t blame them for that after all i’ve done. dropping out of uni and college so many times just meant i was prolonging the inevitable. i knew one day i would go back and do it all again. i’m just really, really hoping that this time, this is it. i have nothing holding me back anymore and i can see my future laid out in front of me, but this time it’s my version. not what other people have told me i should want to be, not what some partner wants me to be, not what my parents want me to be. what i want to be. and that’s just going to have to be enough.

Magical Research by Iren Horrors