My Library

this is,, more of a wip than anything because i still need to work on the timing etc, but i’m done working on it for the moment so i figured i’d stick it here anyway

[This is the first post in a new series here on Keeper Chat wherein I will try to elaborate, one at a time, on the many qualities that a good zookeeper should have – mostly for the benefit of aspiring and new keepers, but useful for anyone to reflect on.  Anyone can learn to shovel poop, but in order to be a good keeper, you’re gonna need a lot more than poop-shoveling skills.  And a lot of that stuff can only be learned by working with people who are better than you.  For people who are new to the field, the learning curve can be a little intense depending on what sort of situation you find yourself in as a newbie.  Think of these posts as helpful signs along the road to becoming a better keeper.  You’re gonna have to do the walking on your own, but this is what you should be striving for.]

There’s a scene in the movie “Superstar,” starring Molly Shannon as Mary Katherine Gallagher, in which Mary Katherine’s grandmother is teaching some kids how to dance.  It goes like this:

Grandma: “When I say kick, you want to kick.  When I say dip, you dip.  And when I say tap, you tap… and when I say booga booga, you booga booga.” Maria: “What’s booga booga mean?” Grandma: “I don’t know.  But if I say it, you better fucking figure it out.”

I think this philosophy can be applied to zookeeping.  No wait, hear me out.

When you’re going about your day as a keeper, there will be times when the world says kick, and you’ll know to kick.  There are times when a guest will say dip, and you’ll dip.  There are times when your coworkers, or an exhibit, or the animals, will say tap, and you’ll tap, no problem.  But then there are times when someone – usually the animals, let’s be honest – will say booga booga.  And you’ll be like, what does booga booga mean?  And the animals will say, I don’t know, but you better fucking figure it out.  As a keeper, you must always be ready for the booga booga, and be prepared to deal with it – intelligently, efficiently, safely, and confidently – when it happens.

What are some examples of booga booga?  It’s that stuff that comes out of left field that no one could have reasonably predicted.  An animal breaks its leg in a freak accident.  A guest falls into the leopard exhibit.  An animal dies on exhibit and the others won’t shift away and the public is watching.  A hole that definitely wasn’t in your aviary mesh when you checked in the morning is suddenly large enough for several birds to have sneaked through.  The skyride over your exhibits breaks down and dozens of panicky people are now stranded high above your herds of skittish antelope.  You catch someone trying to kidnap a tortoise.  A perfectly healthy animal suddenly deteriorates to near-death status in a matter of hours.  These are things that will hopefully never happen, but that we should all be prepared for.  Odds are, however, that the longer you’re a keeper, the more of this type of thing you’ll encounter.  

Of course, experience is the best teacher for this sort of thing.  As you find yourself in more booga booga situations, you’ll gain confidence, and your mental toolbox will fill up with useful been-there, done-that perspective.  So what are you supposed to do until you have that kind of experience?  

1. Remind yourself that anything can happen, and that it’s your job to be ready for anything.  Get that into your head.  Accept it.  Marinate in it. 2. Get your priorities straight.  Human safety always needs to come first if you’re working in a zoo (keeping in mind that safety is NOT the same as comfort, happiness, or convenience).  Animal safety comes next.  Everything else – money, property, time, customer satisfaction – comes last. 3. Practice in your head.  While you’re working, try to think of the craziest things that could possibly happen, and ask yourself what you would do in those scenarios.  Drills are great, but you don’t need a formal drill to think through a potential emergency.  Ask yourself things like: “If a gorilla escaped right now, what would I do?” “If I needed to separate an injured impala from the herd right now, how would I do that?” “If I got a call right now that a person has fallen into the polar bear exhibit, how could I respond?” “If these tigers started fighting right now, when and how would I intervene?” 4. Watch how more experienced keepers are acting in tense situations.  If something goes wrong, watch how they respond.  Pay attention to what makes them kick into high gear, and try to model your behavior after theirs.  Try to anticipate what they anticipate, and think of the things they think of. 5. Know your surroundings and your resources.  Know what emergency supplies you have (nets, ladders, ropes, pepper spray, fire extinguishers, etc.), and where they’re kept.  Practice climbing that fence until you’re sure you could do it if your life depended on it.  Know the quickest route – and the quickest alternate route – to the nearest secure building, the nearest truck, the nearest gun (if applicable).