).(

My life’s been so shit lately I’m finally too sad to eat and constantly nauseous

My self hatred has been getting somewhat better I feel like I’m at this place to easily recover right now. But I just don’t know how to deal with food and fitness. Years of eating disorders has warped my mentality so much I genuinely can’t eat food like normal people. I want to lose weight but I want to do it in a healthy way. In a way that I can be consistent with and be happy with.

It’s been a binge week

I’m flying to San Diego next week…. to see family members that hasn’t seen me in years…..

My cousin is getting married in 2 weeks so I went shopping with my mom for a dress I can wear at the wedding . This was my first time shopping for dresses I’ve never been a dress wearer bc I felt like I don’t deserve to wear nice clothes in this body. But I’ve been trying to accept it yk so I thought why not buy a dress right? I’ve been restricting really nicely lately so it shouldn’t be that bad??? Yup it was, it was that bad. I just came back home after hours of shopping (without any purchase bc everything looked so bad on me) and binged on chocolate….

Yay walk yay