Mes écritures sacrées

Time to say goodbye.

but you never treat me like one.

Until you chose to love them all.

Tonight I am restless because I know what is coming.

I am most comfortable when my sheets smell like you. I am most comfortable when my shirts smell like you. I am most comfortable when my skin smells like you. I am a scent robber; A thief. And you are a cover-up artist. I sleep better when my sheets smell like you. I am more confident when my shirts smell like you. I am less anxious when my skin smells like you. Please do me the honor of letting me steal your scent forever.

He's every thing I ever wanted.

I want to give him everything.

My bruises are black, not blue.

It's 4AM, I can't sleep anymore.

Please don't leave me here alone.

Today my depression hit me harder.

Michael, Matthew, and Patrick were in the sound room and while picking up and cardboard box cut their finger on a industrial staple. I told them to wash their hands and I’ll get bandaids. I come back to the bathroom and Michael is sitting fully dressed in a tub full of water. I do not ask why, just hand out bandaids and go fix the lights in the sound room. Next, everyone is winding down for bed, it’s dark outside and this girl that lives in the house and I go to lock the double screen doors on the porch. Before we do, running in comes what looks like a dog and fox mix with a collar. Just a baby, barely five weeks and freezing. His tag says nothing except his owner didn’t care about him and I pick him up and my heart breaks and I start to cry. The girl goes to get her mom and it is decided they will take care of him until they find him a good home. Just then four more puppies and a momma come bolting in the door, freezing and hungry. I’m crying so much I can’t see. Some how were outside on the lake, trying to get the momma and the babies back in the house. They can’t swim, and some people that are helping are trying to cox her and the babies back from the shore with food. Some how the same puppy that I held when he first came on the porch was drifting out into the freezing lake. I took my phone out of my pocket and got a running start off the dock. While I was running I heard Michael yelling “Alex no it’s-” then I hit the water. Cold. The water was freezing and I forgot for a moment how to swim but then I remembered that freezing, drowning puppy and I went on. I got to him and held him close, now with only one arm I had to swim back and my body was starting to shake uncontrollably. I could see people running from the house with towels and blankets and Michael and Momma shared the worried/terrified expression that my tender heart was going to kill me. I finally made it back to the dock and handed off then puppy to someone with a towel and someone else was pulling me out of the freezing water as I passed out.