My Journey In Life

What happens when you go back to college at 25 years old...

You actually care about what courses you are taking. You learn something each time you are in class, read a textbook or do an assignment. You actually put effort into your class time and value everything your professor says. Why? 

Because you know how difficult it is to function in the "real world" without a degree. Either working with your hands in a blue collar job or trying to create a multimillion dollar out of thin air. Those blue collar jobs are all respectable in this world, but at some point you said fuck it! Took a leap of faith and registered for college courses to further your education and find a career you want.

You pay attention to the lessons the professors are giving instead of the nonsense like your younger classmates announce to the class about their pot dealer texting them about the "New Kush!" It's never "new" its all the same bro. That childish crap has been left by the waist side for good mature reasons. 

You do your work and are considerate of others. You are there to learn, not just to pass the class. You don't participate in the social dynamics of the college "Mean Girls" scene. Class isn't just a way to pick up the cute girl you saw sitting in the front row anymore. You could give two fucks about what she is doing tonight or where the party is at. Of course an occasional distraction is given by her tight fitting yoga pants, your desires haven't disappeared. That's what her yoga pants are for right? To be stared at during a math equation? Your motivation to chase the tail has passed because she will not help you get an A in the course or that life you want to create.

You have been here before as the delusional 18 year old male who stumbled in hungover, high as a kite from a bong rip you and your roommates named JakDaRipper.  You have been the guy who likes to get the attention of all the pretty ladies in tight pants. The party animal who can funnel 21 beers on St. Patty's Day 2010 within an hour. You realize being the center of all this attention got you no college degree and that "job" you hated so much.

What I Know For Sure is that I don't know it all for sure. I don't know why I am 25 years old going back to college full time working part time as as security guard. I don't know for sure if my life would be any better any other way. To think about it another way just causes anguish in this present moment. Yes I want to have a degree, a career in NYC and an apartment too. I want it all right now. But What I Know For Sure is that I wouldn't be able to handle all of that if my wish was magically granted.

What I Know For Sure is that all of the events of my short lifetime have served a purpose. Some days it is hard as fuck to accept that I am where I am. By society standards I am behind, but by my standards…the standards that matter the most I am right where I belong. 

What I Know For Sure is that I always want what is slightly out of reach. I don't like to put in the work, who does? If it all could be served on a silver platter and granted by Genie from Aladdin wouldn't you take it too? 

What I Know For Sure is that our society puts too many ideals on us as a child. You should do this, have this and be this all by a certain age. Fuck that! I know I don't have to be any of that. I know I just have to be true to myself during this human experience. I am just a complex spiritual being have a human experience. That gives me peace that I have found spirituality and have let the garden grow into a wonderful masterpiece by Van Gogh. 

What I Know For Sure is that my life has changed dramatically in the matter of one year. I have had a complete turn around all thanks to the Universe. Who am I to rush such a process? Am I greater than the Universe? No…I am just on my journey. That's it, this is my journey and each foot step has a purpose. The more accepting I am of the present moment the easier life flows. My life becomes one flowing form of yoga. 

Where is the Love?

Our society is full of Hatred and Anger. There is no Love present at all. With all the recent events in Ferguson, NYC and other places across this nation we see violence towards other human beings. The problem is not racism, failed justice systems or corrupt cops. It is Anger and Hatred that is the problem of our society. The Anger of thousands in Ferguson destroyed their own city. In NYC the hands of Anger and Hate took the lives of two human beings. 

All these actions come down to our emotions and how they dictate our actions. Hatred and Anger sees color, creed and everything else that does agree with the host. How do we change all of this as a society? By protesting with anger and conviction? By condemning further violence be taken upon our fellows or by changing the behavior of our society with Love one person at a time.

The only way to drive out Hatred is with Love. The only way to drive out darkness is with light. Anger will not bring justice it will only breed more anger. The Anger will grow from a few to a few thousands. It spreads like wild fire because it is fueled by a dark power. If you take that same burnt field and plant the seeds of Loving wildflowers they will soon cover the whole valley. Love unlike Hate takes time and a fertile soil to spread, but if nourished properly it will provide a field of green. 

Some of the Greatest Ascended Masters: Buddha, Jesus and Muhammad all taught Love. These beings all had one common ground and that was to Love your fellow beings. To Accept and to Love them even with their human faults. Love is the most powerful emotion and feeling we posses. If we Love like these Masters have shown us free of judgment we will find Happiness as a planet of beings. 

We have the power to change the society we live in if we spread Love to all we meet. Be careful of your words and only use right speech. Be cognitive how you speak to others and if you cannot be Loving hold your tongue. If we consciously act with Love the world will no longer know of Hate. We will no longer operate selfishly and will become one whole being. We often get caught up in the race of living and we forget we should be actually Loving. The Love is within us all and if we allow it to flourish we shall know Peace.

The major issue in Ferguson is not racism, it's not rogue law enforcement officers or a failed justice system. The issue in Ferguson is hate, a hate so strong that all human life is now in it's path of destruction. A force like hatred can destroy one human from the inside out, but once it is spreads to a few people it grows like cancer, killing every strong cell in the body. It infects and destroys everything good within that person. Hatred consumes the host and they no longer function with rational thinking. They justify insanity within their thoughts and act in horrible ways. Ways that destroy the human race and bring it to it's knees. Hate is one of the strongest destructive forces of energy on the planet. 

That is the problem in Ferguson, Missouri. The hate and anger of thousands, who will destroy everything in their path like a tornado. Hate is all over the world and often forms after tragedies. The best way to drive that hatred out of the world is to show love to all you meet. Love is the only thing that can drive out the hatred in the world. It cures all and spreads like wildfire. If we as a human race value our lives, our planet and those who have yet to come we need to make a change in the society we live in. Many are lost in the hustle of living that they forget to just be…to be present…to show others love. Love those who are completely different from you physically and mentally. Love those without seeing a race, a religion or occupation. Love those who you know and those you have yet to meet. Love can be shown in many ways other then kissing and hugging. Show someone love by giving them a compliment, bringing them a small gift when you see them, pray for them, send them a wonderful thought or just a smile can be a form love. When the majority of the world realizes that we are spiritual beings here to have a human experience then the world will know love. When the world shows love daily to others then we will know true freedom from hatred.

 Today was the day I got to put all my feelings on the table. It was never a win or lose situation. It was a win-win situation for me. I wanted to see her and to tell her while looking at her big blue eyes how passionate I felt for her. How intense my feelings were that I couldn't just let her walk away without a fight. I did just that. I showed this woman my soul and began a step in the right direction of self expression. I did not hold back. 

 It is always so magical when I talk to her. We never just "got down to business". She asked about how I was and what was going on in my life. What a sweetheart, What a real woman she is. Like any other time we hungout prior we talked about our college courses, family, yoga and other life events. It was amazing because I can talk to her forever even without a kiss or sex. I get lost in her eyes and its a beautiful wonderland. I never found myself so attracted to such intelligence without the thought of a sexual motive. Who am i becoming?…Im becoming the man I am destined to be and I love every minute of it.

Then we "got down to business". I did not however treat this like a business traction. I allowed my soul to speak to her. What else can you do when you may have found the one? The one that could change it all. You step up to the plate and you swing for the fences. Ladies and Gentlemen if there is even the slightest chance that he or she could be the one…Put up a fight and live with regrets. This wasn't a fairytale ending where I put a glass slipper onto her foot and we rode away in a pumpkin carriage though.

But she did listen, she gave me the opportunity to express myself. What an amazing thing she did for me. I turned it over all results to The Universe. I wasn't in control of anything. I joked about how I didn't want to be sitting at my desk twenty years from now writing an article titled "If I only…" We laughed about it and it felt good know I wouldn't have to right that article after today. I feel purged of what I was holding on to and I let hear what I truly felt for her. 

We departed with a hug and a friendship in hand. She has her own path to make and I am on mine. Although our paths crossed in the most magical way I don't feel regret. Maybe one day our friendship will blossom again like tulips every spring. I left with my head held high and my heart on my sleeve. If she ever believes that the time is right, I'll be there with my trusty steed.

Be Well My Friends And Be The Master Of Your Destiny!

Twelve hours from now I will be sitting across from the most amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'm meeting her to show my soul to her, to be vulnerable, to show her that I feel so passionately for her. I'm not sure how it will go, but I turn it all over to My HigherPower.

It all started two months ago on October 19th, 2014, the day after my 25th birthday. I thought the night in the city was the most amazing experience, but little did I know the next day at a park with a cup of coffee in hand this woman would rock my world with such a change.

I never felt so connected to someone on a first date. I could not stop smiling. We sat on a park bench, took a walk through the woods, I went to the bathroom five times (yes during the date in the park!), we ran into many couples taking engagement pictures,we held hands for a second and didn't even touch lips but I felt home. I felt such comfort in her eyes and in her presence. The proceeding two months would be followed by many dates and much of the same. We both felt this surge of energy. I did the cute things you do for a woman like bring her tea and her favorite flowers. Sunflowers, as big and bright as she is! Even a single rose now and then as a surprise. We even told each as we passionately kissed in my bed how we were falling in love with each other. It was magical!

Everyday spent with her got more exciting and felt so natural. We often said how we felt we had known each other for years. I have never felt this way for another human being. I never felt so at home and comfortable. I never allowed myself to be vulnerable and to bare my soul to a woman before her. I pride myself on being the "Nice Guy" even in times of turmoil. So as we sat down to a great conversation at lunch she told me "She wasn't emotionally ready for a boyfriend because of the stresses of school." I wasn't selfish, but I was nice and understanding…all traits I love about myself. But I did not fight passionately for her. I just let the best fucking woman I have ever met to walk out my life without a fight?

What kind of man does that? What the fuck was the point of writing all those wonderful things at the beginning of this blog if I was going to lay down like a dead dog. I don't know what came over me in that moment, but now two weeks later I see my faults. I see I let my pride get in the way of crying in front of her and telling her "Don't leave me because I feel so intensely for you! Don't leave because I have never felt this passion for any other woman and I am willingly to fight for you!" I never told her I wanted to stay in her life even if it was a small part as she went to school. I don't need an over the top relationship where we are together 24/7 mushy gushy. No I want a real life one where we both are developing our lives separately, but one day it will be the picket white face with the dog and three kids. 

I was so scared and consumed by my masculine side that I did not get in touch with my true feelings. I buried them under mounds of dirt hoping never to be found again. But where there is fertile soil a flower will grow. My passion for her has grown over these two weeks and I can't let it go. I pray I am not too late and that I can look back twenty years from now with a smile, a cup of coffee and this amazing woman beside me.

Affirmations is the name of the game! I never knew what or how powerful affirmations could be. I always said affirmations throughout my life, but never realized that I was negatively enforcing the outcome of my life. The things you say to yourself or about yourself ripple into the Universe and bounce right back to you. I never saw that calling myself "stupid" or "no good" was really affecting my day to day life. I am not exactly sure where I picked up these thoughts or if they were even mine to begin with. I remember I took an algebra class my sophomore year of high school and was not doing well at all. The teacher told me I was no good at math and should not take any more algebra classes. I internalized what she said and took it as one of "My Truths" for the rest of my life. I haven't taken a math class since high school because of fear. I reinforced it by avoiding all math until I was in my sophomore year of Electrical School (no coincidence) when I had to learn Trig to complete the course. I was determined to learn it and pass the course. My thoughts were positive and BOOM! I got an A on the test. Funny how that worked out that way. One affirmation I constantly use is "I am a genius" and it is amazing how successful I have been in my return to college this semester.

I have found that just because someone else says it even a well educated person like a doctor or college professor does not make it true. Buddha was fond of saying to his students "Believe nothing, no where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense" This statement speaks volumes about following your own truth no matter what others may say.

 I tell myself positive affirmations daily and I am always pleasantly surprised at the results. Another affirmation I tell myself is "I am a money magnet" and wouldn't you know it everywhere I go at least once a day I find some form of prosperity. One thing I have learned over trial and error is that I am the Master of My Universe. This has been progress, not perfection for me over the last year. But I am astonished at the results.

Understanding that I create everything in my life with the help of The Higher Power aka The Universe really is amazing. Many great teachers like Jesus have said "If you believe you already have what you pray for then it will be so". I always believe that I already have what I have asked the Universe for and it always appears faster then I expected. I try keep the positive affirmations flowing…It really can't hurt me can it?

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your LIfe.  

Once I stepped inside Chan Hall I felt such a great positive presence of energy. It was so calming and peaceful. I was ready, I was ready to be silent for an entire day and embrace the love within me. The day started of with a group meditation where the man and women were separated on the floor of the hall. In fact we had separate entrances, bathrooms and drinking stations on opposite side of the hall. This helps to keep your mind from the desires of the opposite sex. 

Anyway back to the monk like meditating. We all sat on our cushions and began a guided meditation by the American monk. He did a very nice job, but I could not get myself comfortable while meditating. This has been happening to me for some time when I mediate in my room. I have difficulty getting my tree trunk legs to fold nicely and not irritate me. That would be my first lesson of the day. 1. Embrace the discomfort. I was unsuccessfully the beginning of the day. After a 30 minute period we took a break for water. I walked around the hall loving every minute of the silence and also avoiding eye contact with my friend Ryan because we both love to laugh. It makes me giggle now just thinking about the eye contact we did have and the huge smiles on our faces. Laughter is the best medicine.

After our break we began to stretch and do exercises. Of course I was busy doing yoga in the back room and arrived a little late. But that's the best thing, the monk nor did anyone else care. We all were on our own journey. I stood at the entrance to Chan Hall joining in the exercises and who could I see clearly…My friend Ryan and the beautiful brunette. Of course the two things I like the most laughter and women. Typical manifestation for me.

The walking meditation contained two types of walking. The regular natural walk which was slow and steady. The other was the slow walk, which was a very slow movement and placement of toes to heel walking. I really enjoyed this time walking around the hall. I tend to slow down just like I do when I walk in the park during the summer. I take it nice and easy. But the man in front of man always made me giggle. For every three steps forward he would take three steps back! He was the bald headed version of Michael Jackson in slow mo. Are you kidding me buddy?We really were going nowhere at this point hahaha! 

After the walking meditation we took a break for tea and bathrooms. I loved this place. It was very structured, but I felt at home in this hall. The monk was a gentle soul, but very disciplined in his movements. Even the way he spoke. What was I expecting a monk who told jokes like Robin Williams and barked orders like the drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket? Yeah I actually was because that is my type of humor. Tough but hysterical. It will catch on eventually...

After the break we returned to our cushions. I forgot to mentioned we entered the hall in a certain way. We bow at the entrance, and slowly walk around the corridor to the center. At the center we would bow and enter. upon finding our cushion we would bow and take our seat. The females did the same thing on the other side. It was very comical to watch, but the structure of it brought a sense of peace and ease to me.

As we sat on our cushions and the monk mentioned lunch would proceed this meditation. My eyes lit up and my stomach rumbled! My second favorite thing to my spiritual practices was stuffing my face with food. I was ready to say "I'm done meditating lets eat!" I was savoring at the idea of a full vegetarian meal. If these monks could mediate like champions they had to be the Bobby Flay of cooking as well! 

Meditation began and I tried my best to get into a peaceful state. I like to practice mantras when I meditate then allow my thoughts to disappear. I will say my mantra then wait for God's reply. Sometimes it's not what I want to hear. My mantras include: I am a money magnet, I am a genius, I am a good man, I am more then good enough, I am happy, and I am happily single(newest) to name a few. I often visualize money coming to me to help with my prosperity from God. It works!

After this meditation we stretched, tided up our places and head for the dinning hall. My stomach was screaming for food. I swear my tummy is worse than a 3 year old at times. Ryan, Bob and I all headed for the dinning hall in silence. Yes I know what your thinking "what about the others?" We locked them in the hall, flipped them the bird and said "suckas!"

We arrived at the dinning hall exhausted because this retreat centered had some step walkways to navigate. Upon arrival the females went into their entrance and the males into the other. Yes every single entrance in this retreat was separate. It became normal very quickly and I embraced the change in my lifestyle. 

The monks served up a great vegetarian meal. All kinds of fruit, vegetables, soups and even a veggie pizza! Those monks and devotees were good. Before we ate in silence we got the chance to speak! We all said a few prayers/chants to thank the world for our meal. It was very nice and I enjoyed the practice. Eating in silence was interesting and the monk even instructed us to try eating what's in our mouth before we pick up the next bite. This guy was trying hard to get us to slow down our normal American lifestyle. As he said this I had a mouthful and another airplane full of food on the way! I slowed down though and tried to embrace what he was saying. I was open to giving it all a try. What did I have to lose for one day?

After we ate to my surprise we all were divided up into two groups…not by sexes for once! I was surprised we had to "work", but it is apart of the ritual there. My two friends departed back to Chan Hall to do their work detail and I was picked to stay in the dinning hall.

I loved the silence and the smiles everyone had during work time. We only talked if we needed more clarification on our duties. I was smiling from ear to ear and even hummed a nice Christmas tune along the way. I emptied all the trash and compost from the hall. Next I was off to see the Wizard! The Wizard happened to be a dumpster where I would discard of all the trash. No yellow brick road with random people popping out at me. I loved every minute of my duties. I loved seeing everyone working together as a family. After the time was up we all returned to Chan Hall.

Upon entering everyone seemed to have a jovial look on their face. The food was good and satisfying. We took our places on the cushions and the monk greeted us with a nice surprise. It was nap time! "WooooHoooo!" I shouted in my mind! "This place is awesome!" We were giving the opportunity to nap or meditate. I've heard sleeping is the best meditation so I took the chance to nap. It was so peaceful. I nodded out towards the end, but just resting quietly on my back gave me peace.

After our nap we moved forward with more meditating. Yes everything we did had to do with meditating or being present to what task we were doing. That is something we usually don't do in our daily lives. Our thoughts bring us constantly to the future and to the past. Before this meditation we had a Dharma Talk with the monk. He was very intelligent and I enjoyed listening to him. He spoke about not dwelling on the past or the future because it causes a lot of pain. I totally identified with that. Much of my spiritual journey is on letting go of the past and not projecting into the future. It was like a hammer hit me over the head. He talked for a half hour on that and other daily life things we do. He also gave instruction on sitting when we meditate. I really was annoyed about my leg crossing attempts and uncomfortable feeling. He mentioned kneeling with the cushion between your legs as a support. I thought to my self "Pat give that a try, kneel and stick that cushion up your butt!" But of course being a person who wants perfection I went back to trying to conquer the lotus style seated meditation. The monk must have known and simply observed my uncomfortable feeling because he walked over to me. He simply said "Do you want to try the kneeling meditation posture?" I shook my head yes like a little school boy who was saved from the older tougher kids on the playground. I had tried to make my seated position better with two cushions and a towel…nothing worked! I turned it over to the monk. I switched to kneeling and I felt comfortable. In his Dharma Talk he had mentioned if you feel an itch or your legs tingle and go numb…allow it.

Allow my legs to go numb? Yes Seriously I just embraced it as my legs went completely numb. Once I took my mind of the tingling and numbness, I drifted off into a wonderful place. I am not sure where I went, but when I returned I felt happy. No thoughts dominated my meditation this time and I was thrilled! Upon arriving back from the Universe, I sensed my legs were completely numb and in movable. I panicked for a second and thought "If that monk was lying about my legs going back to feeling normal I will end up on the 5 o'clock news for fighting a monk." Of course I wouldn't be able to walk so how would I do that hahaha My legs regained function with a lot of tingling. I was ready for the next practice. We were going to walk outside in the crisp mountain air. I was delighted to be outside in nature. I always feel at home there.

Ryan and I bundled up on the men side along with the others. We looked at each other with a smile. Both of us holding back the intense laughter which we would burst out in later on the car ride home. The walking meditation would begin outside the men's side. Most of us had this look of peace in our eyes as it was 4pm and most of the day was spent in silence. It was such a magical feeling to know I had spoken few words. Something these Chan monks call "Right Speech." No words are said that do not need to be spoken.

Now for this walking outdoor meditation we would do the same natural walk as we did inside. But we were off into the woods! Possibly to find a wizard? I wasn't sure of where we would go or what we would see as we got into a single file line. We began down a long paved road and suddenly the pleasant sound of a stream came roaring to my ears. My eyes perked up and saw a beautiful lake overflowing into a stream to my left. I wanted to stop and observe, but we kept moving. Nature distracts me from my steps at times. I am just in awe now of the simplest things like a river flowing. I love the sights and sounds in produces. We walk onto a main road then back into the woods towards the lake. We came to a peninsula and turned around in single file. The lake was beautiful with trees on every corner of it hugging the cold water. A portion of the lake was frozen displaying the signs of an approaching winter.

The leaves front he trees covered the mossy ground as we went deeper into the woods. I kept my gaze towards the path in front of me only looking to each side to observe the landscape and the river that flowed into the lake upstream. It was a beautiful walk. After 10 minutes walking into the woods we turned around again in single file fashion back towards Chan Hall. We walked the same way back and the signs of winter approaching made me feel at peace. It was such a magical walk in the woods. As we all gathered in front of Chan Hall the American monk who had been leading us all day spoke these words of caution "Check yourself for ticks and bugs!" My eyes bugged out of my sockets and a sudden chuckle came to me. I found such humor in the bombshell he just dropped on us! He never mentioned that before we embarked, but he had some sense of humor to say it now. I just  smiled and giggled inward. Of course all of us began to look for bugs immediately and stomped are feet. I thought for a second "Should we start checking each other like primates?" 

We all entered the hall on our perspective sides for one last 15 minute meditation before the day would end. This meditation for me was done in the kneeling posture and again very serene. I drifted in and out of thought. Once it was over the monk said a few words about the day, bringing this into our daily practice and the woman who was taking pictures the entire walking meditation! Do you believe that? She came to a meditation retreat and took pictures the entire time! hahaha I get a kick out of people, but I have learned it is her journey and none of my business. I like it better that way. We all rose from our mats and did some prostrations towards the amazing Buddha statue in the center of Chan Hall. After this we ended the night. Ryan, Bob and I thanked the monk for leading us and we were off back to New Jersey. The monk had offered us tea and cookies at the reception center, but we decided to leave. I am glad we did because we had a magical two hour conversation on the way home. One filled with laughter, good stories and a few tears from me. All in all it was a magical day that I know will impact me in the future. 

Today I embarked on a meditation retreat with two of my dearest friends. We headed for the mountains of Pinebush, New York where the Dharma Drum Retreat Center is located. I had expectations of meditating all day, but what I received was a wealth of knowledge on awakening my soul and letting go of the negatives.

We arrived at the retreat center early and I was eager to see what the day would bring me. I really had no idea what would unfold for me on this day, but I went in with an open mind…that was full of thoughts! The land hosted many buildings including Chan Hall where I would spend most of my day. At this retreat center total silence is asked for and unnecessary talk is frowned upon. Not good news for this man! My friend Ryan and I engaged in heavy laughter about absolutely nothing before entering the hall. He turned and said to me with a wide grin "Don't Look At Me!"…"AT ALL!" I bursted out into more uncontrollable laughter as he entered Chan Hall.

Throughout my life I have always had "weird coincidences" happen to me. Within the last these events have increased to daily and there is no coincidence about any of it. I have realized that in my last year I have had an awakening of my mind, body and soul. I have changed many areas of my life and been to accept who I truly am on a soul level. I have always had these "feelings" and "thoughts" come to me at random times. Sometimes it goes like this "Tell her everything is going to be okay and I love her" to "Tell them I am happy, but smoking cigarettes is a bad thing" or "Tell he/she is on the right path in life." These occurrences have happened randomly so they seemed at the time. But little by little I realized and accept…well I've almost fully accepted that I am a medium. Yes! I am a medium! Wow that's the first time I have said that in a public forum before, but yet again I know I can only grow from accepting myself. I have many stories of spirits coming to me and I have decided to begin blogging about them as well. I don't know what will come of this blog, but deep down inside I know it is a great thing for me to do for myself. I hope one day these writings can help someone else along in their journey.

 I believe this gift I have is just that, a gift that I am aware of. Just like an artist is aware of how to paint a beautiful painting, it just happens. But I do believe that all human beings have the opportunity to develop this gift if they are open to it. After all we all come from the Universe and it resides within us all.

Now back to how I am drawn to objects. For the last year I have always been drawn to objects in stores and there is usually only one of the item left…coincidence? I think not hahaha I find it hysterical because these events shouldn't surprise me, but I am always "wowed" by them. One night I am in Target and I went there to buy yoga essentials to start my yoga practice and suddenly I found myself thinking about books and a prevailing thought of "Go to the bookshelf" The next thought that followed was "Theresa Caputo The Long Island Medium". Of course what am I immediately drawn to is her book. Flashy blue cover with sparkles and her looking fabulous in a blue dress! Bingo! Blue is my favorite color as well! I buy this book with the intention of reading it because I had recently been on a retreat where I discovered I am not the only one on this planet who is a medium. I met a random woman on a retreat who was also a medium…coincidence? No Way, Forget About It Buddy! 

Eight months later on December 9th, 2014 I finally pick up this book and have begun to read it. The first 44 pages of it have blown my mind away. I really identify with everything she writes about her personal experiences, feelings and how spirit comes to her. I have always been drawn to her especially on TV. I am not a fan of scary movies and I feel that is from a childhood fear like her I believe I saw spirits at an early age, but hide from this gift. It is so random how eight months later I finally pick up this book and read it. I was discussing this all with a friend tonight and as he said "You read it at the appropriate time". That has happened to me with all the books I am reading. Currently I have my hands on five books, yes five books have bookmarks in them along with my nose! I never read before, but now I am glued to books and acquiring knowledge. One night I went to  Barnes N Nobles and was drawn to a discounted table labeled "Spiritual Books"…I bought seven books that night! I closed my eyes and said a prayer to God aka My Higherpower AKA TheUniverse asking what should I read? I opened my eyes and there was this book titled…"God Never Blinks" 50 lessons For Life's Little Detours. I was floored and read the book in three days! The minute I opened it up, I identified with every word in the book. It was written by a middle aged woman and it related directly to my life! And No I am not a middle age woman with short brown hair and reading glasses! Well I do have short brown hair and reading glasses, but I am 25 years old. This wonderful experiences have happened to me time and time again. And here on this blog is where I will tell you them all. Thankfully I wrote a lot down, but each day something new occurs. Life is good and even with turmoil financially, going back to college and family issues I still managed to see the greater picture. I never did before and I thank God for this awakening he has given me. I hope that this blog and everything I write about helps someone…even if I post 10,000 times and only one person in the entire world is affected by it then I will be happy:) 

P.S. As I wrote that last sentence I realized what I was truly saying and who I am truly helping with this blog…I am helping myself and it is a wonderful feeling!

The Ego is the most destructive feature of human beings. We are all born with one. How can you escape such destruction given at birth? Most humans define the ego as a person's self esteem or self worth. Although it is partly that, we as humans sometimes over look the fact that the ego is actually the "thinking mind" commonly known as the voice inside our head. The voice that was given to us in primal stages of life for survival. The ego evokes fear which keeps human beings in survival mode. Fear is one of the most destructive feelings we have as humans. I am fond of saying "You are not your thoughts" which I discovered after reading a book called The Power Of Now. That saying has helped me realize that my thinking mind and all those thoughts are not actually apart of me. Learning to follow my thoughts, but not attach to them has changed my life for the better.

I use to have this thought that I wasn't good enough or wasn't ready to go back to college. That thought dominated my thinking for four years. The ego brought it all about to keep me in pain. The ego wants us as humans in constant fear and pain. Without those two feelings the ego will barely exist. We constantly battle over "not being ready, not being good enough or having to wait for a time in the distant future, I'm not ready to go back to college, I'm not ready to date her because I need to grieve for months on end over a tarnished relationship, I'm not intelligent enough to become a doctor, I'm going to wait a few months to accomplish that long sought out task because then I will be ready". Our ego often tells us these lies to keep us stuck in the same spot for months, years, decades and lifetimes.

The realization and awakening is possible for every soul on this planet. When we allow our egos to tell us that we need to wait, or we aren't ready for something to happen…the ego has won. We remain stuck in that same spot of misery when we can have what we want right now in this moment. We can move towards it instead of putting up mental roadblocks for a time in the future. When that time finally comes a few months from now, it won't be the future. It will be the present and then suddenly it is put off for a few more months. Then suddenly we are 75 years old saying "I wish I did that". We don't have to remain unconscious to the ego anymore if we become self aware as individuals then as a society. Misery is always a choice and it is usually the ego making that choice. Choose to go back to college, travel the world with little money in your pocket, date that woman you barely know, put in for the big promotion at work, swim with dolphins, backpack across a country. Do everything the ego tells you to wait for, to hold off on, to plan for or to be one day ready for. Choose the present and the now.

 In Life there are two constants that shape our reality. They are "Change" and "My Perspective". One we cannot control and the other we can control. Throughout life we have had "change" occur in many ways and to no prevail we were unable to control the outcome. Change is always a constant just like the waves in the ocean and suddenly we are surfers in this metaphor riding each wave to shore. Ride the wave and enjoy it!

  My Perspective governs every feeling and emotion that occurs to us as human beings. In our experiences we can control how we feel. We can choose misery or we can choose happiness with each change in life. Living life by the motto "Everything Happens For The Good" can tremendously help shift our consciousness in a positive direction. But how can traumatic events like Cancer, Loss of a job, Lost friendships or Negative drama filled situations be good for us? It all can be For The Good if we look for it in the situation presented by the Universe. The three choices we have with any situation is to Accept, Enjoy or Be Enthusiastic about it. Choosing one of those options for every situation will help our perspective be a painless one. Choose Happiness for today!

I always find myself observing people in public, some call it "people watching". I like to call it people peeking because for a brief moment I am peeking into what their life is like by observing them. Yesterday I had quite an experience with the Slaves to the cellphones people.

Yesterday, I went to the local community college where I am enrolled for a guidance appointment. Some students were doing the same and the nice woman at the front desk told me it would be awhile before my favorite counselor was available. So I took a seat in the common area among a group of about 18 students all varying in ages from 18-25 years old. I sit down and begin to look around at everyone. 15 out of 18 people were staring blank into their cellphones, checking twitter, instagram or the Book aka Facebook. Not a sound could be heard, not even from a mouse! 

I was amazed and laughed to myself about how this group of people couldn't even find the words to talk to each other. A few swipes later someone would but their phone down for a brief intermission of two minutes then became sucked right back into. I continued to giggle and no one noticed my laughter! It blew my mind as I sat back and read the school newspaper in which an article mentioned how the society we will in  is all about keeping up with the 'Jones''. Everyone was too busy swiping, liking and double tapping to engage the person next to them. It was a room full of cell phone zombies. 

Ever since I started to practice leaving my cellphone in my pocket, taking all social media apps off my phone and only using Facebook on my computer has changed my life for the better. I no longer have to keep up with or be involved in the drama of other people's lives. It is peaceful.

Now back to the cellphone slaves in the lobby. I was itching to have someone to talk to after a few minutes of sitting quietly. I was tempted to engage the stern faced asian guy to right or girl who was doodling to my left….Why? Because they were the only ones not on cellphones! And then suddenly my thoughts of "I want a human being to talk too and have an intelligent conversation with" manifested into the form of my dear friend Ryan. Ryan is also a college student, a few years younger than me. I called him over and we had the greatest conversation about school, our goals, relationships, manifesting the things we want with our thoughts(yes that is possible my friends) and the cellphone slaves among us. The most amazing part was that I was talking loud enough to draw the attention of the cellphone zombies for a few seconds, but they all got sucked back into their phones! 

Our society has us trained to care so much about what everyone else is doing. Some people care so much about other people's social media that they often waste hours of their own life. Social media causes fights about "How I slept with your man", "Parents bashing parents" or a number of other drama filled topics. The combination of social media and the cellphone is destroying the fabric of American society. No longer do people have conversations, they text or email instead of calling that person. A room full of 18 people sits in silence because technology has created a race of unintelligent people. Einstein said it best "I fear that the day technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." Technology has changed the world for the better in some ways, but as a human race it has killed off the interaction. 

When you go out to eat with your grandparents they don't sit on cellphones across from each other. Those old folks talk! they talk to the waiter or waitress, they talk to the table across the way and to your dismay they often talk to you. The cellphone has made a generation of people who worry and stick their nose in everyone else's business that their own lives never develop. Marriages are occurring later, those marriages are having children later and the growth of generation X is be shaped by what version of the iPhone you have.